tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8366278949397025018.post7769990042097884547..comments2023-09-28T02:11:49.595-07:00Comments on The New Journal of V's boy: Still on the same boat...vs-boyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04715617491485385267noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8366278949397025018.post-30809321652931718002010-02-11T02:22:37.692-08:002010-02-11T02:22:37.692-08:00The only reason that I mentioned Valentine’s Day i...The only reason that I mentioned Valentine’s Day is that I have made that mistake before. Make the day about her, but more specifically your love and devotion for her as a woman and wife. By all means let her see how much she excites you, and what effect and control she has over you in the bedroom, but don’t debase the day by asking for anything kinky. I know that this can be difficult sometimes, especially when you are “needy” as you put it, but if you can take solace from “serving her on that day, offer to make her dinner, do all of the clearing up, whilst she relaxes, give her the full works. Then later, or the next day, you can tell her how much you enjoyed pleasing her, and that you even found it arousing in a strange sort of way. She may ask why, you’re chance to start to explain. Just an idea.<br /><br />Regarding your second thought, I think that basically the majority of wives are dominant to one degree or another. They know that they control what happens in the bedroom, and even when it happens. I am guessing to a certain extent, but I suspect that most wives are frightened by the discovery that their husbands are submissive because they think in part that its just a game, is just about sex, and that they can’t see themselves “acting out” their lives in a fantasy, expecting their relationship to turn into a mistress/slave thing. Also they fear being classed as dominant, bossy, bitchy, all traits that they have probably found distasteful in other women.<br /><br />The sooner that they can see that it doesn’t have to be like that, and that they can enjoy many benefits of having an adoring, attentive, and even obedient husband, the better. To make this work for you though your wife will need to understand a bit about what motivates you, and how best she can indulge and encourage your submission. That is where you definitely have to give her a good reason to want to encourage your submission. That’s where your love for her, your passionate desire to submit to her feminine charm, and willingness to submit to her control comes in. But she will need a reason, a very good reason to want to adopt her new role in your relationship.<br /><br />The longer you leave it vague, without some sort of explanation, the more frustrated you will get, and so to your wife, not understanding why she is seemimgly failing to meet your needs, or appreciating what you would really like your realtionship to be base upon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8366278949397025018.post-57540358912158663762010-02-10T17:13:57.914-08:002010-02-10T17:13:57.914-08:00I just want to thank you for taking your time to p...I just want to thank you for taking your time to post your reply. I read some of your recent entries and see that you are right. I have to come out somehow. <br /><br />Your comment about Valentine's Day probably saved me a lot of pain, because the thought had already crossed my mind. You are right though, that I should not give her a gift that is actually for me.<br /><br />There are two things that have been fluttering around my mind recently and maybe I''ll post something about it, but is that the more "needy" I become, the less effective I am at bringing V's dominance, so from that is clear that she wants a man. The other one is that even though sometimes I don't feel that I'm advancing (especially when I am "needy", so there's the link) I actually am, as evidenced by the fact that V has been saying "I Love you" more often than she used to and that she has told me several times in the past few days that I am a wonderful husband and father. She even told that to the kids in front of me, and asked them to follow my example a little more.<br /><br />So, the second thought is that perhaps what I'm trying to achieve here is not to have her BECOME my dominant, but just to DISCOVER that she already is.<br /><br />Since writing about it seems to make it easier for me to decodify it. I'm planning to write something about these two issues after I give them some thought.<br /><br />Thanks again for your comment and your good wishes.vs-boyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04715617491485385267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8366278949397025018.post-76974266196168844502010-02-09T03:13:46.890-08:002010-02-09T03:13:46.890-08:00At some point you will have to explain, but if you...At some point you will have to explain, but if you read my blog you will see that I am not that good a communication, for all for the reasons that you have described. Like you I was worried about rejection, worried that Jane would find my fantasies and desires to kinky. My biggest fear was that as soon as I knew Jane didn’t want what I wanted, then I couldn’t enjoy myself, knowing that she might only be doing certain things to please me. Wanting your wife to enjoy herself, to want you to be attentive and obedient, to want to encourage your submission is very important to me, and I suspect you also.<br /><br />What I have learned importantly over the last few years is set out in some of my recent entries, so won’t repeat myself here. You will have to communicate though, difficult though it is. Giving her the “book”, maybe one of the easiest and quickest ways of getting things out in the open. Having your answers and your reasons set in your mind is probably more important though. You will need to convince your wife that this is as much about you as a couple together, your love for her, and your desire to feel totally lost to her feminine sexuality as a woman and your wife. You need to give her reasons why she should want to encourage your submission, and that in many ways is giving her what she wants, not necessarily what you want. Together you may just reach a mutually satisfying balance, and in time as she grows more comfortable and confident about her dominant position within your relationship, she may grow to become more adventurous and expectant with you. You cant deny the fact that some of this is about sex, and that you are sexually motivated to want to serve and be controlled by your wife, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing especially if you are giving her what she wants and needs.<br /><br />This can only work though if you open up. If it as important to you as it sounds you will have to find a way of communicating to her or getting her to read the arounsherfinger website. Don’t however make the mistake of linking this to Valentines Day, or assuming that just because you find being subservient to your wife, that she will immediately enjoy or want the same.<br /><br />The sexual side should always come secondary, and only after you have convinced your wife that your intentions go way beyond sex and are just as much about being committed together as a loving couple first. Whatever happens your wife will probably still want a husband, a man, and not want a servant. Getting the balance right is the key, giving her what she wants, as much as what you want is a must. Don’t anticipated a harsh regime with your wife barking out orders and punishing you regularly, it just wont happen, at least it’s very unlikely to happen, and in reality you probably wouldn’t enjoy it anyway, unless your wife enjoyed or wanted it.<br /><br />I shall be following your blog with interest, good luck.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com