This morning was the day. I was sure of it. I had worked out, I had been good, had done everything V had asked of me and then some...
It didn't happen.
When I woke up, she was gone. Anyone who knows V, even remotely, knows that once she is up, she is up and there is almost nothing I can do to bring her back down. I say almost because it has been known to happen, on special ocassions.
When it was about time for me to go to work, she entered the room and told me to get up and go. I pleaded a bit, not really daring to beg as much as I really wanted to because I know she doesn't want me to act "needy".
To all that, she only smiled, basking, I know, in the warmth of my undivided attention. She looks radiant these days, but I can't tell if it's because she feels wanted and cared for, or if it is a mirage of the psychochemicals.
The truth is, I don't care.
All I care for is that I love this woman. I love her deeply and also lust for her. I am a lucky man in that the object of my lust also happens to be the subject of my love. I'm glad that I have discovered orgasm denial and that V has been loving enough to take her first steps into it, because this deepends and enhances our relationship. It's funny how regulating the man's drive can affect the couple so much. From some material I read yesterday, I formed what I think is an interesting thought about submission and marital harmony, but it will have to wait for another posting, as there is no time or space here for that. Of course, it may be that the fact that I find my thoughts interesting is but another symtom of psychochemical mirage. (A good name for a rock band)
Let's come back to the story.
"I worked out," I blurted out in a final pathetic attempt to get her attention as she was about to leave the room.
"Aww!" she said, doing that hot little thing girls do when they walk away with a little bounce on their step, fling their purse over their shoulder as they look back at you. "This means you will work out again today."
Man! This woman is hot, little bouce and all!
All day at work I was thinking of her.
When I got home, she was watching TV with the kids and I said hello. She blew me a kiss, but then said that she would come get a good kiss and walked me to the bedroom. We made out a little, talked a little and I asked her at what time she was going to leave.
"I have 20 minutes," she said, quickly adding: "And no, mister. 20 minutes is not enough."
I smiled. Knowing that I still have not worked out, I did not even try to get into a quickie that would only be for her and might cost me a couple more days of denial, so I remained quiet.
"Now, you have not even worked out, have you?" She said a little later, reading my thoughts the way wives do. "You have to work out first, you know the rules".
At a diferent time, I may have protested that she could still have whatever she wanted, but not today. Today I desperately need to do whatever she says so she gives me release.
"You set up these rules and gave me permission to enforce them," she added, even though I was not protesting. "And you are not going to get out of them."
"Yes," I said, realizing that maybe the reason she kept insisting was that she misunderstood my compliant silence with defiance. "I will work out for you."
"Good boy," she said as she left the house.
From this exchange, I gathered that I need to be more vocal in accepting V's control. I have to say "yes" to whatever she chooses to impose over me instead of remaining silent. In a way this is good, because it means that I get the opportunity to verbally acknowledge my obedience to her in a non-threatening way (because she asked)
I'm leaving now, as I need to work out before V comes back home. I will add a note later, saying whether this became day 6 of my denial or if a new cycle begins.
NOTE (1/31/12): A new count begins today. I did work out, but she said "I don't know if you want to do me, but I am tired and want to go to sleep." I didn't press the case as I would have done in times past, because even though I know she would have allowed it, it would discourage her dominance.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Five Days
The last time I posted, I was hoping for a night release, but it didn't happen.
As a matter of fact, right now I have been denied for 5 days. Now, for the first two nights and one day, she didn't tease me at all, so it was not true denial, but on the third night, she got naked and told me that I was to cuddle with her and fondle myself thinking of what I was not going to get. I obediently did, bringing myself to the edge while she relaxed and eventually fell asleep. Just like that, without much effort on her part, my submissive mood skyrocketed. I loved how easily she used her power over me.
On the fourth day, she was playful and flirty again. When night came, I asked her if she wanted me and she said "yes". After very little foreplay, I was inside her, pumping with gusto, her legs around my waist. The orgasm came quick to her this time. It appears that she needs less and less time to reach it these days, which I'm sure is a good thing for her, but not so much for me.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, she stopped.
"I'm done," she said, pushing my hips away. "Good night".
"Are you finished?" I asked, panting, and not only because of the short session.
"Twice, baby," she said, pushing me again.
Obediently, meekly, I pulled out and allowed the unspent energy to flow out in a sigh. Before she thought the sigh was a complaint, I told her I loved her, and she said she loved me too.
I fell asleep eventually, remembering that she had promised to be stronger with me, and grateful that she had done so.
This morning (the 5th day) I woke up ready and willing, nay, more like horny and desperate. She played a bit with my penis, told me how hard and big it was and how much she liked it (Note: It is not big, she means bigger than usual) then she got up and we went on our daily routines.
Tonight, after having worked out and totally expecting an orgasm, she went to sleep, leaving me here with a 5 day-old hard-on. Now, before anyone tells me that 5 days is nothing, let me say that I'm new at this, and save on rare occasions when I was sick, I have never gone 5 days without release, especially when she has teased me in the last 3. In the past, I always "took matters in my own hands" as many like to call it. This time, however, I want to keep away from temptation so I can fully experience V's feminine power. Even with that, I fear that I may lose control and masturbate.
I wonder if I can find a way to introduce a chastity device at this point, or if it's too premature.
Anyway, as desperate as I am right now, I'll try to have sex with her in the morning. A part of me wishes that she would allow me to pleasure her and then stop me, but another part of me wants to get release already. We will see what happens.
NOTE: For anyone interested in the weight-loss part of the program, after stumbling a little and re-gaining a few pounds (when I got sick during V's vacation) I am back in track and have lost 10 pounds net (some of them a couple times). I know it's not much, but enough that I can feel the diference in my clothes, my knees, which were hurting almost every day, and V has stopped complaining that I am too heavy when we make love.
As a matter of fact, right now I have been denied for 5 days. Now, for the first two nights and one day, she didn't tease me at all, so it was not true denial, but on the third night, she got naked and told me that I was to cuddle with her and fondle myself thinking of what I was not going to get. I obediently did, bringing myself to the edge while she relaxed and eventually fell asleep. Just like that, without much effort on her part, my submissive mood skyrocketed. I loved how easily she used her power over me.
On the fourth day, she was playful and flirty again. When night came, I asked her if she wanted me and she said "yes". After very little foreplay, I was inside her, pumping with gusto, her legs around my waist. The orgasm came quick to her this time. It appears that she needs less and less time to reach it these days, which I'm sure is a good thing for her, but not so much for me.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, she stopped.
"I'm done," she said, pushing my hips away. "Good night".
"Are you finished?" I asked, panting, and not only because of the short session.
"Twice, baby," she said, pushing me again.
Obediently, meekly, I pulled out and allowed the unspent energy to flow out in a sigh. Before she thought the sigh was a complaint, I told her I loved her, and she said she loved me too.
I fell asleep eventually, remembering that she had promised to be stronger with me, and grateful that she had done so.
This morning (the 5th day) I woke up ready and willing, nay, more like horny and desperate. She played a bit with my penis, told me how hard and big it was and how much she liked it (Note: It is not big, she means bigger than usual) then she got up and we went on our daily routines.
Tonight, after having worked out and totally expecting an orgasm, she went to sleep, leaving me here with a 5 day-old hard-on. Now, before anyone tells me that 5 days is nothing, let me say that I'm new at this, and save on rare occasions when I was sick, I have never gone 5 days without release, especially when she has teased me in the last 3. In the past, I always "took matters in my own hands" as many like to call it. This time, however, I want to keep away from temptation so I can fully experience V's feminine power. Even with that, I fear that I may lose control and masturbate.
I wonder if I can find a way to introduce a chastity device at this point, or if it's too premature.
Anyway, as desperate as I am right now, I'll try to have sex with her in the morning. A part of me wishes that she would allow me to pleasure her and then stop me, but another part of me wants to get release already. We will see what happens.
NOTE: For anyone interested in the weight-loss part of the program, after stumbling a little and re-gaining a few pounds (when I got sick during V's vacation) I am back in track and have lost 10 pounds net (some of them a couple times). I know it's not much, but enough that I can feel the diference in my clothes, my knees, which were hurting almost every day, and V has stopped complaining that I am too heavy when we make love.
Monday, January 23, 2012
A misunderstanding and a promise...
My wife is getting more comfortable denying me lately. The other day we talked and she told me she had noticed that our little 'arrangement' was not working as much as she wanted and that she would think of how to make it work better. I didn't try to give her ideas, although I have many, because it is probably the first time she suggests changes to what has up until now been mostly my initiative.
All I asked was "How is it working for you?"
She answered so quickly and coherently that I know she had been thinking about it.
"Oh," she said leaning back against her pillows. "It is working for me very well. I like it because you know what our mother's teach us about doing everything that the man wants so he won't leave you? All these things about your 'needs' as a man and all that?"
"Yes," I said, but the tone cracked up and went up at the end, making it sound like a question.
"Well, you have given me permission to not have to do anything I don't want to, and now I feel like I can do it whenever I really want to, and maybe because if that, I am enjoying my orgasms more than I used to."
I didn't have time to talk anymore, but her choice of the word 'permission' made me think deeply about denial, dominance and the consent that the submissive gives to his dominant, but that may be fodder for another post.
Getting back to the topic at hand, my wife had me work out three days in a row while still being denied, on one of the days she declared that I had not worked out, because she "said so," even though she knew I had, and ordered me to give her a massage.
It was bliss.
On the third night, she told me to wake her up in the morning, which I eagerly did. After she had enjoyed three orgasms (I didn't really know, she bragged about it later) and I was about to have a big one myself, my watch alarm beeped the hour.
"Time's up, babe!" She said in a sexy voice while still pulling me closer and deeper and deeper.
This is where I misunderstood. Because of her tone of voice and body language, and maybe also because I was so close to the edge I could not think clearly, I thought she was telling me that it was getting late and I should finish right away. That is exactly what I did, finished on what I thought was her command, in a sudden gasp, even after only three days of denial.
We didn't have much time for cuddling or bask in each other's warmth, because both had to leave, so we set up to get ready.
"I was doing you a favor," she said suddenly.
"Huh?" I answered, in typical male-after-sex way.
"I told you that the time was up so you could be energized," she said. "But you didn't stop."
I felt terrible.
Here she was, accepting what I had told her that being denied energized me, knowing full well that in stopping me she was doing me a favor, and when she went ahead and did it, I just didn't listen.
"I'm so sorry, honey," I said, not knowing what else I could say to mitigate any potential damage, even though she didn't look mad and was talking to me matter-of-factly. "I didn't notice, I guess I was too involved and I just didn't understand your message."
"Don't worry," she said with a smile. "Next time, I will be stronger."
I can't wait to see what she will do "next time", which I hope will be tonight. I don't know if she will be up to anything, though, because we have both been sick, and even though we both feel better now, we are very tired.
EDIT: Nothing Happened. She was very tired and went to sleep.
NOTE: For some reason blogger is not letting me post comments again. The last time it resolved itself, so I won't worry too much, except to post this notice so you know I'm not ignoring your comments. I can still see them on the comments section , so If you have a comment, please feel free to leave it. The situation right now is this: I can't see see the individual pages of the blog, so can't comment, but I can see the main page, and I can see the comments listed in the comments section of "My Blogs" page. Interestingly enough I am having the same problem (can;t comment or see comments) with some other blogs, but not all.
Friday, January 13, 2012
A demon from the past raises its ugly head...
I have been denied for quite a few days and enjoying it wonderfully. It is amazing how energized I feel. Even after having release, the energy drop that most bloggers and writers describe has not been too big, and I have managed to remain submissive daily for many days now. I love the feeling and would love for it to continue.
One of the things that I have been doing to "keep it up" is that almost on a daily basis, I play with myself until the edge of orgasm, then stop. I have been using this as a method to increase my submissiveness and it works, up to a certain extent, because I have to do it several times to reach the same level I reach when let's say, V lets me bring her to orgasm and then stops me, or when she teases me heavily and then lets me dry. I'm sure that if I was edging at her command, it would be a different story, but we are not there yet.
Now, the reason I mention these things is that V has been away for a few days and I'm home alone. Yesterday, while I was edging, I almost had an orgasm and had to interrupt it. I was not sure whether I had ruined an orgasm (not a lot of experience there) or I had actually stopped it, so I played with it a bit more and almost immediately went all the way through and had an orgasm. It's been a long time since I had one without V and I felt miserable for having failed myself like that.
I am no stranger to masturbation. At one time in my life, I was a serious masturbation addict. The addiction was so serious that sometimes I'd miss work to spend the day masturbating. I would stop the car by the side of the road to masturbate in the middle of the day and walked out to the bathroom in the middle of a party to masturbate. My days (and nights) were consumed with the addiction as more and more time and stimulation were required to reach the same level of satisfaction. It took years (even after I was married) for me to bring this addiction under control, so I know that this is something I must avoid.
Well, yesterday, after masturbating once, I lost control and went and did it again. If I had felt bad because of one failure, doing it twice made me feel like a worthless piece of crap, especially because having just had an orgasm, I KNEW that I didn't NEED one, just WANTED one. Out of selfishness and pettiness, I abandoned my self-proclaimed fidelity to my wife and failed her, and myself, twice.
It was not until later in the day that I experienced the effects. With my almost constant sexual "high" depleted, I found I had completely lost any feelings of submissiveness. As a matter of fact, I felt like I didn't even felt comfortable thinking about submitting to a woman. Being aware of how my feelings were progressing, and having read about how tease and denial keeps a man submissive, I was not surprised that my submissive feelings were gone. I had expected to feel something when I had an orgasm, but what I felt after the two orgasms, was strikingly noticeable.
I felt like I was a different person, a man with no feelings, no empathy, devoid of joy and passion, living in a colorless world. It brought memories of a time, years ago, when I entered into a severe state of depression, when all I wanted was to die, and despised myself even more for lacking the courage to do anything about it. This must have been if not the most, one of the darkest times of my life. In contrast, the years I've spent with V, even the rough early ones, are like a ray of sunshine.
All I want right now is to have her close, to confess to her that I had failed and to wet her feet with my tears begging for her forgiveness. Oh, if only she would stand over me, express her disapproval and punish me severely for my wrongdoing! I don't know if I should tell her of my failure, because if I did, it would only hurt her feelings and make her distance herself from me. If she asked, I would not be able to lie to her, but otherwise, I don;t think I should mention it.
I've read that an addict is never really cured, but must remain vigilant and in control, lest the addiction overcome him again. This is one of my personal demons, one that thanks to V, her patience and her love for me, has lost his grip over my life and has retreated to a dark corner, out of sight for the most part. It is up to me to be strong every time this beast raises its ugly head.
My wife will be with me again in less than a week. I hope I will be able to resist temptation until then.
I am so sorry...
One of the things that I have been doing to "keep it up" is that almost on a daily basis, I play with myself until the edge of orgasm, then stop. I have been using this as a method to increase my submissiveness and it works, up to a certain extent, because I have to do it several times to reach the same level I reach when let's say, V lets me bring her to orgasm and then stops me, or when she teases me heavily and then lets me dry. I'm sure that if I was edging at her command, it would be a different story, but we are not there yet.
Now, the reason I mention these things is that V has been away for a few days and I'm home alone. Yesterday, while I was edging, I almost had an orgasm and had to interrupt it. I was not sure whether I had ruined an orgasm (not a lot of experience there) or I had actually stopped it, so I played with it a bit more and almost immediately went all the way through and had an orgasm. It's been a long time since I had one without V and I felt miserable for having failed myself like that.
I am no stranger to masturbation. At one time in my life, I was a serious masturbation addict. The addiction was so serious that sometimes I'd miss work to spend the day masturbating. I would stop the car by the side of the road to masturbate in the middle of the day and walked out to the bathroom in the middle of a party to masturbate. My days (and nights) were consumed with the addiction as more and more time and stimulation were required to reach the same level of satisfaction. It took years (even after I was married) for me to bring this addiction under control, so I know that this is something I must avoid.
Well, yesterday, after masturbating once, I lost control and went and did it again. If I had felt bad because of one failure, doing it twice made me feel like a worthless piece of crap, especially because having just had an orgasm, I KNEW that I didn't NEED one, just WANTED one. Out of selfishness and pettiness, I abandoned my self-proclaimed fidelity to my wife and failed her, and myself, twice.
It was not until later in the day that I experienced the effects. With my almost constant sexual "high" depleted, I found I had completely lost any feelings of submissiveness. As a matter of fact, I felt like I didn't even felt comfortable thinking about submitting to a woman. Being aware of how my feelings were progressing, and having read about how tease and denial keeps a man submissive, I was not surprised that my submissive feelings were gone. I had expected to feel something when I had an orgasm, but what I felt after the two orgasms, was strikingly noticeable.
I felt like I was a different person, a man with no feelings, no empathy, devoid of joy and passion, living in a colorless world. It brought memories of a time, years ago, when I entered into a severe state of depression, when all I wanted was to die, and despised myself even more for lacking the courage to do anything about it. This must have been if not the most, one of the darkest times of my life. In contrast, the years I've spent with V, even the rough early ones, are like a ray of sunshine.
All I want right now is to have her close, to confess to her that I had failed and to wet her feet with my tears begging for her forgiveness. Oh, if only she would stand over me, express her disapproval and punish me severely for my wrongdoing! I don't know if I should tell her of my failure, because if I did, it would only hurt her feelings and make her distance herself from me. If she asked, I would not be able to lie to her, but otherwise, I don;t think I should mention it.
I've read that an addict is never really cured, but must remain vigilant and in control, lest the addiction overcome him again. This is one of my personal demons, one that thanks to V, her patience and her love for me, has lost his grip over my life and has retreated to a dark corner, out of sight for the most part. It is up to me to be strong every time this beast raises its ugly head.
My wife will be with me again in less than a week. I hope I will be able to resist temptation until then.
I am so sorry...
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Observations on the last few days.
These are some observations of our progress in the last few days.
JANUARY 4
(Follow up from previous post) I don't remember the reason, and it doesn't matter, but my wife pulled me towards her and smacked my bottom with the kitchen utensil I mentioned in the previous post. It was not hard, but the fact that she go over her initial reticence to using something on my bottom was rewarding. After that, she was giving instructions to me as I was getting dressed and she asked me to repeat something she said. When I did, something was not quite right and she smacked the bed really hard in front of me and made me repeat it. I did so, hoping that the smack that she gave the bed was done in my bottom, but that's okay, because we are progressing.
JANUARY 5
She told me that she would be away most of the day and gave me a (very short) list of things to do before she got back. One of them was to make sure I worked out, to which she added that there would be a lot of fun for me later if I did. I worked out and after she came back home, we went out to dinner and a movie. When we returned, which was almost at midnight, she told me that she was working on a project that required concentration and that she wanted peace and quiet, so she was going to leave again. I told her that she didn't have to, and she made me promise that I would "blend in" with the background, so she would't even notice me. I said that I'd be quiet, but she wanted more. She said that if I got too close to her, or sighed, or stared at her, or acted 'needy' she would lose her concentration and she would leave. I put on earphones and listened to music quietly in a corner until she finished her project, at which time, she turned the light off and went to sleep. I thought I was going to get an orgasm because she was so emphatic on my need to work out, but this is a right I have given up to her, so I can't complain.
JANUARY 6
When I woke up she was gone. I thought she had left the house to work on her project and kind of lingered longer in bed, resigned that my workout of the day before would become invalid, but before I got up, she returned. She began to undress and said that she needed a break, so she wanted to know if I had worked out the day before. Then she said that even though it was not the early morning, she would still call it valid, because she said so. I told her that I had not yet brushed my teeth and she said "Go quickly then, because I want to tongue-kiss you." I ran to the bathroom as she finished undressing.
We kissed for as long as she wanted and then had sex until she had her first orgasm.
"Did you work out today?" She asked while we still moved.
"No," I said. She knew I hadn't.
"Then I guess we are done here," she said, but when I tried to pull out in obedience, she held me closer and asked me. "Did you work out yesterday?"
"Yes," I said meekly.
"Mmm!" She began to push harder. "Are you lying to me?"
"No," I said. I would not lie to her about this, and she knows it, but she seems to enjoy making me tell her.
She didn't say anything, but seemed to be enjoying what we were doing, so I continued. When I felt that the edge was near, I asked her if she had made up her mind.
"Maybe," she said driving me closer to orgasm with each trust.
"Do you want to save me like this for later, or do you want for me to get off right now?" I spoke in her ear.
She cleaved her nails on my back, appeared to consider for a moment and then said "You can come."
I complied.
"Now, get up and get me (3 things I don't remember)" she said after I had rested a little.
I got up and put on a pair of pants to get whatever she had asked for and she started to laugh. I asked her what was the matter and she said
"You are still my 'biatch', and I love it!"
That brought a smile to my face.
JANUARY 7
We woke up a little earlier than the other days. Sadly winter break is over and we have to go back to work on Monday, but we still have the weekend.
I started sweet-talking my wife and telling her how wonderful she is. from there I evolved to rubbing her back and kissing her neck.
"What are you doing?" She asked. "You have not worked out yet,"
"I'm trying to get my energy," I said, pulling her closer.
"You're not trying hard enough," she said.
I interpreted that (correctly, I think) as a green light so, I pulled her closer, pulled her pants down and penetrated her from behind. As I made love to her, she asked me if the energy I received from this was stolen from her somehow. I explained that it was not energy taken from her, but more like making my brain think that an orgasm was coming, letting it prepare for it by releasing the proper hormones and then using the energy for other things. She said that it was funny, how even though we consciously know these things, there is still something inside our bodies that makes them work. She also commented that it makes her wonder how many other things in life we really don't have any control over, even though we think we do.
After that, she let herself go into an orgasm, but she was quiet and I was not sure she was done. She told me it was time to stop.
"Really?" I asked. "You had pleasure?"
"Yes," she answered, then explained that there are different types of orgasms, something that I'm not sure I understand (okay, I admit, something I don't understand at all).
"Yesterday's, was explosive, like totally awesome" she explained. "Today's was soft and tender, but I enjoyed them both."
"Now, go get me breakfast," she said immediately as I pulled myself out of her. "I want waffles, two of them and one egg. Now, the last time you put too little syrup, so get me more syrup this time. Oh, and I don't care how you do this, but I feel like having a strawberry, so I want a strawberry on top."
She was laughing, because we both knew that there are no strawberries in the house and she would not wait for me to go get one anywhere.
"Do you like asking for the impossible?" I asked.
"Sometimes it's fun," she said.
"And what's going to happen if I can't bring you a strawberry?"
"I haven't planned it that far yet," she said.
I prepared her breakfast as instructed and found some multi-flavored candy left from last week. I pick the red ones and tasted a couple to find which color was strawberry. I think I found it and placed the last candy of that flavor on top of the syrup-soaked waffles.
"Look!" She exclaimed when she saw the candy. "My man went to the highest mountain, crossed the deepest ocean and fought a dragon to get me a strawberry!"
She gave me three things to do today. Two of which are almost done already, so it's really not that much. I asked her if there was anything else I could do for her.
"I'll let you know if I need anything," she said, and my penis gave a little jolt at the thought.
"That's because you are a hunter," she said when I mentioned the sensation. "Your purpose is to go, do and get things for me."
I loved her more at that moment, if such a thing is possible.
Later, when we were getting ready to go out, she was wearing a pair of beautiful sandals that leave most of her feet bare. For some reason, I find almost bare to be sexier than completely bare and I could not stop staring at her feet.
"What should I wear?" I asked.
She picked a shirt and pants and I asked her if she was sure. The pants were one size too small and I thought they would not fit.
"Look," she said. "I never tell you what to wear and the one time I do, you question me?"
I quickly realized my mistake and apologized, kneeling on the floor in front of her and kissing her feet all over. "I will wear the clothes you picked up for me," I said. "I'm sorry."
"You have to learn not to read so much into things!
After I stood up and put my clothes on, I noticed that I have actually lost enough weight that the pants look good on me. I mentioned that I lost weight.
"I know," she said. "You were too heavy for me before, when we made love, but now you are okay."
I didn't answer, but was surely enjoying the compliment when she made it even better.
"Your penis also feels bigger when you lose weight."
It seems I'm learning some good stuff here, so I need to keep losing weight for her.
Now, we are getting ready to out together. She said that we will walk instead of drive and this will count as my workout, because she is asking me to do it.
COMMENTS
Things are progressing better than I expected. My wife is bringing the sexuality up more often and using it to get her way with me. She has denied me during sex a few times now and seems comfortable with the idea, even though before she tried she had told me that she would probably never do it. She has called me her "biatch" a couple times now and seems to have accepted the idea of requiring me to complete a task or a set of tasks in order to deserve sexual release.
She has told me a couple times also that she is going to "kick my butt" later. I look forward to submitting to whatever her vision of kicking my butt is when she finally decides to do it. I have learned to be patient and let her work things out in her mind first, so the fact that she is mentioning it is enough for now.
With Winter break coming to a close, things will become more hectic around here and maybe less conducive to tease and denial activities, but I hope we can figure out a way to keep the flames hot.
JANUARY 4
(Follow up from previous post) I don't remember the reason, and it doesn't matter, but my wife pulled me towards her and smacked my bottom with the kitchen utensil I mentioned in the previous post. It was not hard, but the fact that she go over her initial reticence to using something on my bottom was rewarding. After that, she was giving instructions to me as I was getting dressed and she asked me to repeat something she said. When I did, something was not quite right and she smacked the bed really hard in front of me and made me repeat it. I did so, hoping that the smack that she gave the bed was done in my bottom, but that's okay, because we are progressing.
JANUARY 5
She told me that she would be away most of the day and gave me a (very short) list of things to do before she got back. One of them was to make sure I worked out, to which she added that there would be a lot of fun for me later if I did. I worked out and after she came back home, we went out to dinner and a movie. When we returned, which was almost at midnight, she told me that she was working on a project that required concentration and that she wanted peace and quiet, so she was going to leave again. I told her that she didn't have to, and she made me promise that I would "blend in" with the background, so she would't even notice me. I said that I'd be quiet, but she wanted more. She said that if I got too close to her, or sighed, or stared at her, or acted 'needy' she would lose her concentration and she would leave. I put on earphones and listened to music quietly in a corner until she finished her project, at which time, she turned the light off and went to sleep. I thought I was going to get an orgasm because she was so emphatic on my need to work out, but this is a right I have given up to her, so I can't complain.
JANUARY 6
When I woke up she was gone. I thought she had left the house to work on her project and kind of lingered longer in bed, resigned that my workout of the day before would become invalid, but before I got up, she returned. She began to undress and said that she needed a break, so she wanted to know if I had worked out the day before. Then she said that even though it was not the early morning, she would still call it valid, because she said so. I told her that I had not yet brushed my teeth and she said "Go quickly then, because I want to tongue-kiss you." I ran to the bathroom as she finished undressing.
We kissed for as long as she wanted and then had sex until she had her first orgasm.
"Did you work out today?" She asked while we still moved.
"No," I said. She knew I hadn't.
"Then I guess we are done here," she said, but when I tried to pull out in obedience, she held me closer and asked me. "Did you work out yesterday?"
"Yes," I said meekly.
"Mmm!" She began to push harder. "Are you lying to me?"
"No," I said. I would not lie to her about this, and she knows it, but she seems to enjoy making me tell her.
She didn't say anything, but seemed to be enjoying what we were doing, so I continued. When I felt that the edge was near, I asked her if she had made up her mind.
"Maybe," she said driving me closer to orgasm with each trust.
"Do you want to save me like this for later, or do you want for me to get off right now?" I spoke in her ear.
She cleaved her nails on my back, appeared to consider for a moment and then said "You can come."
I complied.
"Now, get up and get me (3 things I don't remember)" she said after I had rested a little.
I got up and put on a pair of pants to get whatever she had asked for and she started to laugh. I asked her what was the matter and she said
"You are still my 'biatch', and I love it!"
That brought a smile to my face.
JANUARY 7
We woke up a little earlier than the other days. Sadly winter break is over and we have to go back to work on Monday, but we still have the weekend.
I started sweet-talking my wife and telling her how wonderful she is. from there I evolved to rubbing her back and kissing her neck.
"What are you doing?" She asked. "You have not worked out yet,"
"I'm trying to get my energy," I said, pulling her closer.
"You're not trying hard enough," she said.
I interpreted that (correctly, I think) as a green light so, I pulled her closer, pulled her pants down and penetrated her from behind. As I made love to her, she asked me if the energy I received from this was stolen from her somehow. I explained that it was not energy taken from her, but more like making my brain think that an orgasm was coming, letting it prepare for it by releasing the proper hormones and then using the energy for other things. She said that it was funny, how even though we consciously know these things, there is still something inside our bodies that makes them work. She also commented that it makes her wonder how many other things in life we really don't have any control over, even though we think we do.
After that, she let herself go into an orgasm, but she was quiet and I was not sure she was done. She told me it was time to stop.
"Really?" I asked. "You had pleasure?"
"Yes," she answered, then explained that there are different types of orgasms, something that I'm not sure I understand (okay, I admit, something I don't understand at all).
"Yesterday's, was explosive, like totally awesome" she explained. "Today's was soft and tender, but I enjoyed them both."
"Now, go get me breakfast," she said immediately as I pulled myself out of her. "I want waffles, two of them and one egg. Now, the last time you put too little syrup, so get me more syrup this time. Oh, and I don't care how you do this, but I feel like having a strawberry, so I want a strawberry on top."
She was laughing, because we both knew that there are no strawberries in the house and she would not wait for me to go get one anywhere.
"Do you like asking for the impossible?" I asked.
"Sometimes it's fun," she said.
"And what's going to happen if I can't bring you a strawberry?"
"I haven't planned it that far yet," she said.
I prepared her breakfast as instructed and found some multi-flavored candy left from last week. I pick the red ones and tasted a couple to find which color was strawberry. I think I found it and placed the last candy of that flavor on top of the syrup-soaked waffles.
"Look!" She exclaimed when she saw the candy. "My man went to the highest mountain, crossed the deepest ocean and fought a dragon to get me a strawberry!"
She gave me three things to do today. Two of which are almost done already, so it's really not that much. I asked her if there was anything else I could do for her.
"I'll let you know if I need anything," she said, and my penis gave a little jolt at the thought.
"That's because you are a hunter," she said when I mentioned the sensation. "Your purpose is to go, do and get things for me."
I loved her more at that moment, if such a thing is possible.
Later, when we were getting ready to go out, she was wearing a pair of beautiful sandals that leave most of her feet bare. For some reason, I find almost bare to be sexier than completely bare and I could not stop staring at her feet.
"What should I wear?" I asked.
She picked a shirt and pants and I asked her if she was sure. The pants were one size too small and I thought they would not fit.
"Look," she said. "I never tell you what to wear and the one time I do, you question me?"
I quickly realized my mistake and apologized, kneeling on the floor in front of her and kissing her feet all over. "I will wear the clothes you picked up for me," I said. "I'm sorry."
"You have to learn not to read so much into things!
After I stood up and put my clothes on, I noticed that I have actually lost enough weight that the pants look good on me. I mentioned that I lost weight.
"I know," she said. "You were too heavy for me before, when we made love, but now you are okay."
I didn't answer, but was surely enjoying the compliment when she made it even better.
"Your penis also feels bigger when you lose weight."
It seems I'm learning some good stuff here, so I need to keep losing weight for her.
Now, we are getting ready to out together. She said that we will walk instead of drive and this will count as my workout, because she is asking me to do it.
COMMENTS
Things are progressing better than I expected. My wife is bringing the sexuality up more often and using it to get her way with me. She has denied me during sex a few times now and seems comfortable with the idea, even though before she tried she had told me that she would probably never do it. She has called me her "biatch" a couple times now and seems to have accepted the idea of requiring me to complete a task or a set of tasks in order to deserve sexual release.
She has told me a couple times also that she is going to "kick my butt" later. I look forward to submitting to whatever her vision of kicking my butt is when she finally decides to do it. I have learned to be patient and let her work things out in her mind first, so the fact that she is mentioning it is enough for now.
With Winter break coming to a close, things will become more hectic around here and maybe less conducive to tease and denial activities, but I hope we can figure out a way to keep the flames hot.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Caught and denied.
This morning, when my wife woke up, I was ready with huge erection to serve her. I knew I had not worked out yesterday, but I was willing to let her use me like she did yesterday. Leaving me unfulfilled after having her orgasm accelerated my horniness by a factor of several days, so even though right now, I have only been denied a couple of days, I feel like it has been much, much longer.
When I tried to approach her, she said no. She said that she was still satisfied from yesterday and didn't need me. She did allow me, however to serve her breakfast in bed. She asked for cereal with milk and I added the last banana we had. I went to the bathroom and when I entered the room again, found her laying in bed with the banana between her breasts, caressing and rubbing it as if it were a phallus.
"Oh," she said teasingly as she smelled the banana, rubbing it on her cheek and kissing it. "I love bananas. I love their shape and how long and firm they are! I wish there was something more real that could make me feel like this, but regrettably there is nothing..."
I was so horny that I wanted to do anything, even if I didn't get relief. I offered.
"Are you begging for sex?" she asked.
"No," I said unsure, but quickly reconsidered. "Yes."
She laughed at me, informed me that she was going out and asked me if I still had things to do from the list she had given me the day before. I told her the status and she pointed our a couple of things to give priority to. Then she left, saying that she would be home before nightfall, so I should make sure I worked out.
Before she left, she changed and before putting her underwear on, she bent over and rubbed herself against my erection.
"Ohh, am I being mean?" she purred when she heard my agitated breathing.
"Yes," I said, my voice breaking a little.
"Good. That was the idea."
"Don't worry," I promised. "I'll make sure I work out today."
"Oh, baby, I'm not worried. You are the one who has to live with the consequences... I have no consequences."
With that, she pushed me into the bed and grabbed me by my penis.
"Now, you need to put this away."
"I can't," I responded. "There is no sheath to place it."
"That's right," She said with finality.
What we were referring to was a brief exchange we had the other day when she told me that she would not allow me to call her sexual opening by its name anymore because she had read that the term was a derivation from Latin that meant "a dagger's sheath". Since she considered the term sexist, I would not be allowed to use it anymore. from now on, I am to refer to it as her delicate "flower". I considered the name silly, but if that is the way she chooses to dominate me, I will comply, so from now on, a flower it is, and oh, how much I want to smell the flower right now ;)
Later, I went through the several blogs I read and was toying with my penis a bit and was about to do some self-spanking with a kitchen spatula when she surprisingly arrived. She found the bedroom door locked and knocked. I pulled my pants up and opened the door.
"If you keep playing with it, it's going to fall off."
She had caught me, so there was no denying it.
"I'm sorry," I said.
Then she found the kitchen spatula, which idiot me had left on her side of the bed.
"What is this?" She asked. "Where did you get this and what is it doing on my bed?"
"It's a spatula," I said lamely.
"This is not ours," she said. "Did you steal it?"
"No," I said.
"Why are you so nervous?" she asked. "What have you been doing?"
I knew I had to confess. I told her the truth. I had bought the spatula about three years ago, in our old house, in a fit of kink, and had given it to her together with a blindfold and a note where I asked her to blindfold me and spank me with the spatula. Back then, she had been offended and had thrown the bag, note and all on my little storage area. Today, she remembered nothing of the event.
I explained that I still had it because I hoped that she would spank me with it. She said that she would spank me but with her hands, because she "is not kinky". I told her that I didn't want her to hurt her hands and that if she spanked me while we were having sex. like she had done back in the day, she could not really reach. I mentioned that if she just spanked me outside of sex, then it didn't mattered because she could put me in any position she wanted.
I don't know how much of this sunk in, so it will have to be seen, but it is a little more information out there in the open. We'll see if she chooses to act on it or not. I'm secretly hoping that she would get mad and decide to really spank me. Even though I'm a little afraid of real pain, I have always been curious as to what feelings it will elicit, especially combined with tease and denial.
The rest of the day passed normally, with me fully expecting to get some, but she just announced that she is tired and is going to sleep. I wonder if she is upset about catching me playing with myself or because I just confessed that I want to be spanked, or if she is just tired and tomorrow everything will take from where it let off today.
The intensity of my feelings is playing tricks on my head.
When I tried to approach her, she said no. She said that she was still satisfied from yesterday and didn't need me. She did allow me, however to serve her breakfast in bed. She asked for cereal with milk and I added the last banana we had. I went to the bathroom and when I entered the room again, found her laying in bed with the banana between her breasts, caressing and rubbing it as if it were a phallus.
"Oh," she said teasingly as she smelled the banana, rubbing it on her cheek and kissing it. "I love bananas. I love their shape and how long and firm they are! I wish there was something more real that could make me feel like this, but regrettably there is nothing..."
I was so horny that I wanted to do anything, even if I didn't get relief. I offered.
"Are you begging for sex?" she asked.
"No," I said unsure, but quickly reconsidered. "Yes."
She laughed at me, informed me that she was going out and asked me if I still had things to do from the list she had given me the day before. I told her the status and she pointed our a couple of things to give priority to. Then she left, saying that she would be home before nightfall, so I should make sure I worked out.
Before she left, she changed and before putting her underwear on, she bent over and rubbed herself against my erection.
"Ohh, am I being mean?" she purred when she heard my agitated breathing.
"Yes," I said, my voice breaking a little.
"Good. That was the idea."
"Don't worry," I promised. "I'll make sure I work out today."
"Oh, baby, I'm not worried. You are the one who has to live with the consequences... I have no consequences."
With that, she pushed me into the bed and grabbed me by my penis.
"Now, you need to put this away."
"I can't," I responded. "There is no sheath to place it."
"That's right," She said with finality.
What we were referring to was a brief exchange we had the other day when she told me that she would not allow me to call her sexual opening by its name anymore because she had read that the term was a derivation from Latin that meant "a dagger's sheath". Since she considered the term sexist, I would not be allowed to use it anymore. from now on, I am to refer to it as her delicate "flower". I considered the name silly, but if that is the way she chooses to dominate me, I will comply, so from now on, a flower it is, and oh, how much I want to smell the flower right now ;)
Later, I went through the several blogs I read and was toying with my penis a bit and was about to do some self-spanking with a kitchen spatula when she surprisingly arrived. She found the bedroom door locked and knocked. I pulled my pants up and opened the door.
"If you keep playing with it, it's going to fall off."
She had caught me, so there was no denying it.
"I'm sorry," I said.
Then she found the kitchen spatula, which idiot me had left on her side of the bed.
"What is this?" She asked. "Where did you get this and what is it doing on my bed?"
"It's a spatula," I said lamely.
"This is not ours," she said. "Did you steal it?"
"No," I said.
"Why are you so nervous?" she asked. "What have you been doing?"
I knew I had to confess. I told her the truth. I had bought the spatula about three years ago, in our old house, in a fit of kink, and had given it to her together with a blindfold and a note where I asked her to blindfold me and spank me with the spatula. Back then, she had been offended and had thrown the bag, note and all on my little storage area. Today, she remembered nothing of the event.
I explained that I still had it because I hoped that she would spank me with it. She said that she would spank me but with her hands, because she "is not kinky". I told her that I didn't want her to hurt her hands and that if she spanked me while we were having sex. like she had done back in the day, she could not really reach. I mentioned that if she just spanked me outside of sex, then it didn't mattered because she could put me in any position she wanted.
I don't know how much of this sunk in, so it will have to be seen, but it is a little more information out there in the open. We'll see if she chooses to act on it or not. I'm secretly hoping that she would get mad and decide to really spank me. Even though I'm a little afraid of real pain, I have always been curious as to what feelings it will elicit, especially combined with tease and denial.
The rest of the day passed normally, with me fully expecting to get some, but she just announced that she is tired and is going to sleep. I wonder if she is upset about catching me playing with myself or because I just confessed that I want to be spanked, or if she is just tired and tomorrow everything will take from where it let off today.
The intensity of my feelings is playing tricks on my head.
Monday, January 2, 2012
New Year, More New Developments
After opening up to my wife and expressing my wish to be sexually controlled by her, she decided to deny me for another day, but on December 31, she pulled me over, told me that I have been "very good" lately and that since it was a special day, she wanted to make an exception and have sex with me.
Being that I had been denied for a week, I quickly responded, but did my best not to ejaculate before she had at least one orgasm. I was successful at one, but having her tell me to go ahead and in her words "go for it, baby!" was more than I could resist, so I more or less obediently came.
After that, she told me that I would have to work out double, but later she said that if I took her dancing that night, she would count it as a work out. It was indeed a work out, as we danced until my legs (and hers) were about to give up.
The next morning, V had a bad hangover, so she asked me to do the dishes and cook, because we were expecting visitors for dinner (otherwise, she would have called it a Sandwich Sunday, something not uncommon in our household). She told me to recruit the help of the kids, but I thought that would be a great opportunity to give her service and told her not to worry a bit. I did the dishes and made dinner while my honey slept her huge headache away.
When we sat with the visitors and had dinner, she was complimented on her cooking and she confessed that she had just woken up and thanked "anyone who helped making such a great dinner". I didn't say anything, but the kids mentioned that it was all me. The proud look she game me was one of the highlights of my day, and it would have been THE highlight of my day except for what followed.
When I entered the room, she pulled me over and said "I'm back!" We kissed, and she teased the hell out of me and my erection. She laughed at it, told me to put it away and told me that since I hadn't worked out (per our agreement, my workouts are "valid" the day they happen and the early morning of the next day, meaning before we get out of bed) I had no options, other than to sleep near her naked body and think of what I was missing.
I need to say that it was a "hard" night and I didn't sleep all of it. Having my wife's nakedness in my hands and not being able to do anything about it was a powerful reminder of the power I have given her.
In the morning, she turned her back towards me and started rubbing herself against my erection (no, it was not up all night, although it seemed so) and making purring sounds. All I wanted was to grab her and make love to her and when she asked me "What's the matter, baby? Are you afraid of me?" I could not help it and just penetrated her.
"Are you being bad?" she asked as she rocked back and forth.
"I hope I'm being good," I said.
"Oh, yes, you are," she finished.
I turned her around and climbed on top. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I pumped her hard. This is the position that causes her the fastest and strongest orgasms, and in no time she was panting with her first one.
"I'm done," she said suddenly, placing her hand on my chest. "Thank you."
As I realized that her "first" orgasm was going to be the only one that was going to be had, she pushed me gently away. I could not believe she was going to deny me like that, which is a dream come true for me and another milestone on the road to FLR. She patted the bed besides her and beckoned with the other finger.
"Come here, baby."
I did and we cuddled in silence for a while. I almost felt like crying.
"It worked," I said after a while. "I cannot believe you did it, but I feel totally under your power. You are my Queen. Thank you."
"And I don't feel guilty at all," said she gifting me with her ample smile.
"Feel free to do it anytime you want," I said kissing her all over, my heart brimming with gratitude and lust.
"I only allowed myself one orgasm," she said. "But it was a good one. Maybe later, I'll go for it again"
We talked for a while and then I asked her what she wanted to have for breakfast. She asked for waffles and eggs, which I happily prepared. After eating, she said that she had a bunch of things for me to do today, including downloading a to-do list application for my hand-held device, which I immediately did and filled with the tasks that she gave me. Right now, with a fresh new set of tasks in hand, a deliciosuly lustful feeling of denial and an immmnse love for the object of my adoration, I need to stop writing and get to work.
I have the feeling that 2012 is going to be a good, good year!
Being that I had been denied for a week, I quickly responded, but did my best not to ejaculate before she had at least one orgasm. I was successful at one, but having her tell me to go ahead and in her words "go for it, baby!" was more than I could resist, so I more or less obediently came.
After that, she told me that I would have to work out double, but later she said that if I took her dancing that night, she would count it as a work out. It was indeed a work out, as we danced until my legs (and hers) were about to give up.
The next morning, V had a bad hangover, so she asked me to do the dishes and cook, because we were expecting visitors for dinner (otherwise, she would have called it a Sandwich Sunday, something not uncommon in our household). She told me to recruit the help of the kids, but I thought that would be a great opportunity to give her service and told her not to worry a bit. I did the dishes and made dinner while my honey slept her huge headache away.
When we sat with the visitors and had dinner, she was complimented on her cooking and she confessed that she had just woken up and thanked "anyone who helped making such a great dinner". I didn't say anything, but the kids mentioned that it was all me. The proud look she game me was one of the highlights of my day, and it would have been THE highlight of my day except for what followed.
When I entered the room, she pulled me over and said "I'm back!" We kissed, and she teased the hell out of me and my erection. She laughed at it, told me to put it away and told me that since I hadn't worked out (per our agreement, my workouts are "valid" the day they happen and the early morning of the next day, meaning before we get out of bed) I had no options, other than to sleep near her naked body and think of what I was missing.
I need to say that it was a "hard" night and I didn't sleep all of it. Having my wife's nakedness in my hands and not being able to do anything about it was a powerful reminder of the power I have given her.
In the morning, she turned her back towards me and started rubbing herself against my erection (no, it was not up all night, although it seemed so) and making purring sounds. All I wanted was to grab her and make love to her and when she asked me "What's the matter, baby? Are you afraid of me?" I could not help it and just penetrated her.
"Are you being bad?" she asked as she rocked back and forth.
"I hope I'm being good," I said.
"Oh, yes, you are," she finished.
I turned her around and climbed on top. She wrapped her legs around my waist as I pumped her hard. This is the position that causes her the fastest and strongest orgasms, and in no time she was panting with her first one.
"I'm done," she said suddenly, placing her hand on my chest. "Thank you."
As I realized that her "first" orgasm was going to be the only one that was going to be had, she pushed me gently away. I could not believe she was going to deny me like that, which is a dream come true for me and another milestone on the road to FLR. She patted the bed besides her and beckoned with the other finger.
"Come here, baby."
I did and we cuddled in silence for a while. I almost felt like crying.
"It worked," I said after a while. "I cannot believe you did it, but I feel totally under your power. You are my Queen. Thank you."
"And I don't feel guilty at all," said she gifting me with her ample smile.
"Feel free to do it anytime you want," I said kissing her all over, my heart brimming with gratitude and lust.
"I only allowed myself one orgasm," she said. "But it was a good one. Maybe later, I'll go for it again"
We talked for a while and then I asked her what she wanted to have for breakfast. She asked for waffles and eggs, which I happily prepared. After eating, she said that she had a bunch of things for me to do today, including downloading a to-do list application for my hand-held device, which I immediately did and filled with the tasks that she gave me. Right now, with a fresh new set of tasks in hand, a deliciosuly lustful feeling of denial and an immmnse love for the object of my adoration, I need to stop writing and get to work.
I have the feeling that 2012 is going to be a good, good year!
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