Coming Soon...

I went ahead and bought this:

Yes, It's a cheap one, but it is for experimentation and I can't afford to drop a lot of money for a  better product. Another factor in choosing this one was that it comes with 3 different rings, so I have a better chance to fit.

It says that it is made of stainless steel, but I honestly don't think that's the case. I guess I'll see those stains pretty soon, if there are any.

This should arrive before Christmas, according to the tracking number.

My intention is to show it to Miss V on Christmas Day and start using it, but to keep the key with me until I'm sure of a proper fit. Later, I'll hand her the key and the lock, and ask her to lock it up.  I shiver when I think of the sound of the lock clicking shut.

Evidently, I'll have to discuss a few things with V first. Her concerns before had been few, and I present them in the order she mentioned them to me.

• She did not want to buy it herself (the first thing out of her mouth when I asked her for one was "can't you buy it yourself?"
• Why metal? She was wondering if it would be too hard, if it will hurt or if it is too ugly. I talked to her about plastic and silicone, and I think she understood why I wanted metal.
• What would happen if we are separated too long. She asked me what would happen if I am locked and she goes away for the week. I don't think I was too successful at explaining this one, but we need to agree on the use of an emergency lock, obviously, because I need to be able to unlock if there is an emergency, I think this will only become an issue with extended use, and not if the device only sees limited use, as I see it.

Well, the worst thing that can happen is that she decides that she hates the thing and rejects it outright. I think she has given me implicit consent to get one, and there will not be any major trouble other than an unused cheap chastity device.

The other "bad"thing that could happen is that she likes it too much and I become a long term user... I qualify that because I have this fantasy, but have never experienced the reality of it, so it may be different. 

I might post a first impressions review when I receive the package (depending on whether I think there is anything interesting to say), and probably a post describing the testing phase. If I get locked up by V, I'll definitely post about that.

Wish me luck...

On another note, There is a new post in the Victoria's Playground blog. It is called Victoria's Gift to Me and discusses part of what the dominant woman brings to the table in my version of a Male Chastity Relationship.  

So far, there has not been much interest or activity on that blog, but I'm `planning to keep working on it for a while at least, because it is helping me put together my thoughts about this subject.   

A Little Down, a Little Confused

I have not had sex in almost a month now.

No, it's not a period od denial. it's just no sex. I told my wife that I needed some and she told me that I liked not getting any... Have I given her the wrong impression?

I have been cranky, lazy, rude, innattentive, have been eating too much, watching porn, masturbating, talking back to my wife... You get the idea.  In short, if I had decided to do everything possible to not to follow my own advice, this is how I'd behave.

I have no excuse other than to admit that I am a jerk that needs to be controlled externally. For years I thought that I wanted it, and now, after having tasted some of it, as little as it was, I realized that I need it. To try to remember my goals and my feelings, I'm working on the new blog. I made two new posts:

The One Rule
What I can give to Victoria

Today, when I arrived I tried to kiss my wife and she didn't let me at first because I was too cold (coming from outside as I was) so she blew on my lips before kissing me very lightly. Then she blew on my ears, one at a time and told me "You just got a blow job".  Sadly I could not answer that I wanted a real one because my daughter was right there. My wife's timing was perfect. SHe gets to say something and by the time I react, we are in public.

Now she's gone again, and I'm alone (with the internet), I have not masturbated for 48 hours. I feel like a loser, but I don't think that wallowing in my misery is going to make things better.

When I first asked V to exercise orgasm control on me it was with the excuse that I needed encouragement to lose weight. Perhaps I can pull it off again, but I don't know.  She has no problem saying no anymore, which is what I wanted, but now she doesn't tease.

How do I explain this?

I need the tease to proviode the energy to do what I need to do...

To be continued.

New Blog: Victoria's Playground

I've started a new blog called Victoria's Playground where I'm going to share my vision of male chastity and orgasm denial in the form of games couples can play. I base the blog in my own (very limited) experiences with Miss V (the Victoria from the title), on my interpretation of female domination literature (books, websites and blogs) and sure, why not a little bit of make-a-wish fantasy,

I think that it will give me a medium to share my thoughts in a format different that the "I wanted this, but she did that ... wah wah..." that this blog has become.  

Victoria's playground will be a work of theory and games, with no accounts of my experiences. The recollection of my attempts (or should I call them my failures?) in trying to achieve some semblance of a FLR will continue to be in this blog.

A new blog by V's Boy

You can reach Victoria's Playground by clicking HERE or by entering the following address in your web browser: http://victoriaplays.blogspot.com/

My hope in writing the new blog is to help me articulate what I really want out of orgasm control and male chastity and perhaps one day to let Miss V. Read it. For that reason there will be no recounting of my sexual experiences with her, or anything that could endanger our privacy. For that reason, comments on Victoria's Playground, if there are any,  will be moderated.

As of right now, there is only one post in Victoria's Playground. Here is a direct link, in case you want it: The Simple Game of Orgasm Control.

Go check it out, if that's your cup of tea, and let me know what you think.

Trade failed... Don't know what to do.

Didn't work.

V did not want to give me a hand job. She wanted "regular sex" even though she medically should not be doing it.

We did it, even though I didn't want to and didn't want to hurt her. She said she was all right but she was showing signs of pain later, when she thought I was not watching.

I don't know what to do.

She is too young, and too hot to not be able to enjoy herself.

If she liked oral sex, I could please her, but she doesn't.

I don't know what to do.

From mild denial we have gone to no sex at all, and I have fallen back into my old lazy, masturbatory ways.

And I feel bad about it.

Asking for a Trade

Before leaving for work this morning, I left this note for my sleeping beauty:

I want to propose a trade. You give me a hand that I need very much, and I'll give you ____________________ (fill the blank).  Love U.

Go ahead, take advantage. You know I will do anything I can possibly do.

When I returned from work, I looked for the note, hiping toi find a response, but knowing that cxhances were low. It was not where I left it, and I checked around the floor to make sure it had not accidentally dropped. I found the note face down beneath some school permission slip or something, but the blank was not filled... Bummer...

Later, I approached her from behind in the kitchen and kissed her neck. I whispered in her ear how much I want her and she said "I know, I'm thinking on what to get on your trade. I want it to be something really evil..."

"Go right ahead," I said. "You know I like it when I have to pay a price."

Then she started to walk away and told me that perhaps she will have me fix my car (it's an old clunker we never use but she would like the idea of having it available for me to run errands) and my son's car (another clunker he bought himself, but won't fix because he can barely afford gas). My son's car will be easier to fix than mine, so I'll probably tackle that one first and then use it (and my son) to get the things I'm going to need to work on mine.

This is fair market value for a hand job nowadays, right? I've been out of the marketplace for a while, so I don't know...

But hey, people like me are not precisely looking for fair exchanges... I was glad that even though she is recovering from surgery and has not been able to have sex for so long now, she still recognizes that she has the long end of the stick when it comes to the symmetry of our relationship (or the lack thereof).

I don't know how much longer it will be before she can have sex again, but I better prepare for it to last long, because in six months she'll have to undergo another surgery, and a possible third one 6 months after. I'm planning on asking for trades every week so she can get at least some benefit while I get some attention as well.

The downside of it all is that I can't please her sexually. I am thinking perhaps with a vibrator, one of the ones that are used from the outside (not penetrative) but I really don't know much about this, so if any reader (if I still have any) can give me ideas, I'm all ears.

So, tomorrow I think I'm getting a hand job from Miss V. She is not a big fan of hand jobs, and with reason, since they are not pleasurable for her, so what she does, is she starts with oral, until she hears me panting in a way that suggests to her that I'm close to having my orgasm or until her jaw tires. At that time, she pours some lotion on her hands (or sometimes pours the cold thing directly on my hot penis) and gets to it, I don't know exactly, but my guess is that by first going down on me, she cuts the time it takes for me to reach my orgasm by about half.

I'll probably post some more after I find out what the price of this hand job is going to be.

Now, be quiet you all, and don't tell her that she could get away with me fixing the cars even if she denied me... Hell, especially if she denied me.

I will tell her after... I'm too horny now.

The reason for my silence...

This is probably the worst news I have shared here so far.

Miss V is suffering from horrible pelvic floor pain, apparently caused by a previously undetected lession she got in one of her pregnancies and has been told that the condition will be permanent, The current effort is to manage the symptoms.

This means no sex... (possibly forever)

With this, her desire has dissappeared, and her interest in all things sexual.

The most important thing right now is to help her recover, It is being hard on both of us. On me because of the dual reality that on the one hand I desire her as much as always, but she feels disinclined to do things for me because it is her understanding that I "like being horny" (Talk about backfiring). On the other hand, it is painful to see her suffering and being unable to do simple things that she would take for granted. Please note that this is no old woman by any measure, but still in her mid 30's.

I suffer from back pains due to an old injury and every once in a while I have a flare-up that sometimes can be incapacitating. However, it is one thing to know that if I rest for a couple days and take my meds, I'll be up again and a totally different thing altogether to be given no hope. The various doctors (and now pain specialists and therapists) that she is seeing are telling her that she will not recover because her problem was supposed to have been taken care of back when she had the baby 14 years ago and her tissues will not heal.

So, as far as the topic of this blog is concerned, all activity has ceased, and I am now in a not-by-choice sexless relationship.

I will post something if and when the situation changes. For now, I need to go focus on helping her and making sure she recovers as much as she possibly can.

Thank you all for reading.

Father's Day Strapon - Pause - Then Two in a row

Miss V's schedule has been opposite mine for a while, so there had not been any activity between us since Father's day, when she took me from behind with the strap-on and then finished me off in a hand job while I rode on top.

I think handjobs are more pleasurable than vaginal sex, and if they are done while I ride a strap-on, then they are incredibly intense. Miss V knows this and that's the reason she offered it to me as my Father's Day gift.

Originally, in the morning, she gave me a card and a pair of wonder woman's panties.

No, it's not what you are thinking (or what I was thinking/hoping at  the moment). The panties were not for me to wear, but for me to see her wear as she intended to be wonder woman and fuck me later. She left them with me while she went to work (yes, she worked on Father's day) and told me that I should get ready (her code for taking a good shower and enema) if I wanted her attentions at night.

Well, after that gift, she's been way too busy to even see me, as I've been asleep by the time she comes home and she's been asleep at the time I leave in the morning.

I waited for her a couple of nights, but she just stated that she was too tired and went ot bed. This gets me in a bad mood, because I don't get enough sleep and then suffer a total lack of productivity during the day.

So in summary, nothing had happened for the last few weeks.

Until last night.

She came home, pulled my blankets, and told me that I needed to fuck her (yes, she used the word, which she rarely does) I was half asleep, so she grabbed on to my cock and started roughing it up until I actually responded. We had regular sex (meaning, nothing kinky) and I ended up having an orgasm inside her, not even stopping to think to ask permission. I guess the whole thing didn't take that long, but I was exhausted, and so was she.

This morning, she woke me up again and had me fuck her, this time from behind, in spooning position, before heading for work (yes, she works on Saturdays too!) and I ended up having another orgasm. "Oh," she said as I convulsed my ejaculation. "I soooo needed to be fucked."

Since I was tired from the week's work, and lack of sleep, I went back to sleep assuming she had left, but she woke me up again before leaving.

No, it was not for more sex... Phew!

"You have gotten two freebies now," she said, waving her wonder woman panties in front of my face. "I want all the dishes done before I come home from work, and clean the kitchen."

Yes, she's getting ready to deny me again. I know it.

I realize that I got two orgasms in a row, and they may have been because she really wanted me to have them, or maybe because she felt that she had not seen me at all in almost three weeks, or perhaps it is just as she says ans she needed to feel me explode inside her. Sometimes it is hard to understand, so it is better to just do as you are told and enjoy it.

The funny thing is that instead of feeling drained, I've been horny and leaking precum in my pants all day. I guess the two orgasms in quick succession may have accelerated cum production? I don't know, but now I want another one really badly, so her denial tonight, which I can almost take for granted, will be stronger than usual for a day one.

Anyone with any information as to why this may be?