Still on the same boat...

As one commenter said before, my 'discreet campaign of hidden submission' is not giving the desired results. At least not to the extent I'd like to.

My feelings as a submissive husband continue to intensify, if that's possible, but my wife does not seem to grasp the idea that I want her to dominate me.

She has gotten the idea that I want her to be a little rough in bed, and expressed to me that the reason she doesn't do it is that she fears that I will be rough with her, and she likes sex 'soft and tender'. I told her that I'd be as soft and tender as she wanted, but that she did not have to worry about doing the same for me. She laughed and said "men are savages". Since then, she has been scratching, biting and spanking me during sex, which is a beautiful thing.

This goes to show that she is at least partially open to do the things that please me in bed, but she has a big thing about me not 'doing things because I want sex' and wants me to do things without her telling me. I've told her that I don't do things because I want sex, but that I want to please her. She seems happy with that explanation but I don't think she really believes it. I'm trying to show her that I want to serve her even when sex is out of the question, such as when she has her period and such, but I guess I'll have to be more consistent on that.

The other day I received an email from her at work where she thanked me for all the help I gave her the night before and she specifically mentioned that I did it 'without expecting any reward' so I guess she's noticing.

I still don't dare coming out clean and telling her that I am submissive.

Today, she said that she wants to give ME oral sex, and she also said that she wants me to do the dishes, but she made it very clear that she doesn't want me to establish any correlation between one and the other.

I love to receive oral sex, and knowing that she's getting a desire to do it, makes me hot. I'd also love to give her oral sex, but she doesn't like it. We used to do it before, so I guess it was not as good as I thought.

When I have not had sex in a while, my kinks come very near the surface and I begin to have fantasies about sex. For now, my strongest fantasies include being tied up, being spanked and being penetrated anally with a strapon. I don't have any fantasies that do not involve Mistress V, meaning that all these things are things I wish she would do for me, but I guess I'll have to wait, since I don't even dare to tell her of simpler things...

Sometimes I wish I could just tell her right up all that I feel, but the fear of losing her confidence, of her knowing that all this time I have been wishing for something else, makes it harder and harder. I know it will only get worse with time, so I better do something to ramp up and pave a way for this before it's too late.

I just have to figure out how.