What V Wants: Proactive Help.

I had a conversation with V the other night that illustrated one of the ways in which we submissive men make mistakes when it comes to our attempts to bring out dominance from our partners.

It was very simple, but helpful.

The background is this: V was upset with me because I made a blunder out of her birthday celebration, so I was not just being denied, I was being ignored. I have spoken about the difference between the two before, so I won't go there. The main thing is I wanted to make amends, and was being very helpful around the house and with the kids, and all. This lasted for many days. I apologized in any possible way I could, brought her flowers, etcetera.

One day, I think after 10 days of this, I texted her that I loved and would do anything to please her.

"Not do. Be" Came her simple response via text.

She gave me two more days of the cold treatment, and then on day 12, she whispered in my ear (the children were present).

"If you work out and are proactive, I'll take care of you when I get back from work".

She went to the kitchen and I followed her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You are a big boy," she said. "You'll figure it out."

I didn't say anything. To me it felt like a lose if you do, lose if you don't type of deal. She must have seen my idiotic face because when she turned around, she asked what I thought she meant.

"To me, " I said, choosing to be completely honest. "It sounds like you want me to do something, but don't want to tell me what it is".

"You see? That's the problem!" She said, but I could tell that she was not as upset as she had been for the past several days. "You think that I want you to do something specific, and that's not what I want. I want you to look around, there are many things you can do to help, and do something, help with the kids, the family, the house, don't you understand?"

"I do," I responded meekly.

And I finally did.

In my quest for submission, I had become inert, and expectant on her direction, but what she wanted was someone who anticipated her needs and went ahead in helping without requiring her direct command.

I chose to do all the dishes, cleaned the table and the stove, and made sure the younger ones did their things before going to bed.

It was enough.

When V came back she took me to bed and told me that I could come inside her.

I did as I was told, and had one of the most intense (but not long-lasting, sadly) orgasms of my life.

So, V wants a man who serves her, but that shows some initiative in deciding to do it instead of being commanded. The day after that, she told me that she would give me the pleasure of doing something for her, and made me write some materials for her job.

When we were in the car the other day, I asked her if there was a house chore that she disliked above all others, one that she would give away to someone else if she could.

"Dishes,"  she answered without hesitation.

"Because of your hands, eh?" I asked.

"Yes, I can't use gloves because they dry my hands, and I can't not use gloves because the dish washing soap dries my hands."

"I see," I said, leaving the rest unsaid. I love her hands, how small and soft they are, and I made my mind right there: she will not have to do dishes again if I am home to prevent it.

I think this count as being proactive.

Reason 3 of 12: I enjoy a heightened state of energy and awareness

Recently, while enjoying some time off, I had time to think about why I want orgasm control and came up with a list of 12 reasons. These reasons were listed in the order they came to mind, which may or may not follow a logical order. After posting that list, I thought it would be a good exercise to post a brief explanation of each one of them, here is reason number 3.

FOR THE COMPLETE LIST OF REASONS, SEE THIS POST

Instinct may play a diminished role in modern-day humans, but our physical bodies are equipped with the capacity to focus on what they consider lacking. Have you ever notice how when you are hungry, your sense of smell seems enhanced? The most deliciously torturous smells of food are those who reach you when you are starving. Taste is enhanced as well, and food does indeed taste better when you are hungry.

The opposite of this is also true.

After eating, if you ate enough, your senses become dull to the stimuli of food smells and tastes, and if you really overdo it, you may find yourself suddenly disgusted at what earlier was a delicate, enticing aroma.

When you crave for an orgasm, your senses become aroused to the touch, smell, and look of the human female. You feel a jolt of energy coursing through your body, you feel more awake, more alive, more energetic. All this is part of what your body does to ensure reproduction (hush, don't tell it that sex is not ONLY for reproductive purposes).

When I'm denied an orgasm, I feel stronger. I feel healthier, more motivated and alert. My senses tingle when I detect the smell of my mate, an her touch is glorious to me. I feel, as I mentioned in an older post, more in control of the situation (which is ironic, being that this state of mind is inflicted upon me by another) and more in control of my body (also ironic).

On the opposite end of the orgasm, I feel lethargic, lazy, fog-brained, tired...

So, as long as the denial is not too excessive, guess on which side of my orgasms I want to be?

 

Reason 2 of 12: The thrill of the chase and the hunt never dissipates

Recently, while enjoying some time off, I had time to think about why I want orgasm control and came up with a list of 12 reasons. These reasons were listed in the order they came to mind, which may or may not follow a logical order. After posting that list, I thought it would be a good exercise to post a brief explanation of each one of them, here is reason number 2.

FOR THE COMPLETE LIST OF REASONS, SEE THIS POST

 

I have shared this with my wife several times. Men are hunters that love to chase after prey. Once the prey is captured, the thrill of the hunt is over. I love how orgasm denial extends the hunt, making me think about the chase and ever-extending the thrill.

The hunt seems to be the essence of romance, and as I chase, my ever-elusive prey toys with me and I become obsessed with the catch, like the old man trying to catch the white whale. Looking after, giving my all to get it, only to see it dangling in front of me, so near and yet so far, this maintains a thrill that doesn't dissipate...

OK, well, it does dissipate when the desired prey is captured, but soon enough, I'm hunting again...

And I get the thrill all over again.

Reason 1 of 12: I feel the need to subdue my urges and desires

Recently, while enjoying some time off, I had time to think about why I want orgasm control and came up with a list of 12 reasons. These reasons were listed in the order they came to mind, which may or may not follow a logical order. After posting that list, I thought it would be a good exercise to post a brief explanation of each one of them, here is reason number 1.

FOR THE COMPLETE LIST OF REASONS, SEE THIS POST

 

I have often felt that my sexual urges are like a beast that needs to be tamed in order to stop it from dominating every aspect of my life. In essence, it comes down to controlling what would otherwise control me, or putting it another way, to harness the energy of the beast and turn it into a good use.

When it comes to sex, I was a late bloomer, but if sex came late into my life, it came strong and unbridled. There was a time in my life when I became literally addicted to sex in a way that I could not be productive in any other endeavor and sex became an obsession, a powerful dominating force in my life. During the darkest hour of my addiction, I was having trouble concentrating on almost anything, and was having memory lapses, and moments when I simply lost the best use of my faculties and could say that my sexual urge was making decisions for me. The more I tried to repress the need, the stronger it became and the worse the result when I finally gave in to it.

I read once that an addict is never cured, but goes on remission.

Since my marriage, I have not had sexual encounters with anyone besides my wife, whom I love with all my heart (something I was not capable of doing during my addiction years). I was to give her my all, and not keep anything from her. This is the reason I want her to dominate my sexual life, because if this beast is not dominated, it has the potential, a very real and strong potential, to dominate me instead.

And this is my first reason.   

12 Reasons I want Orgasm Control

For a while now, I have had it clear in my mind that I want to surrender my sex life to my wife. I often wonder and perhaps speculate about the reasons for this, somewhat unconventional desire, but have never come to a concrete conclusion. Recently, while enjoying some time off, I had time to think about why I want orgasm control and came up with a list of 12 reasons. Here I present them in the order they came to mind, which may or may not follow a logical pattern. Perhaps I will offer a brief discussion of each in future posts and will link to them from here.

1. I feel the need to subdue my urges and desires
2. The thrill of the chase and the hunt never dissipates
3. I enjoy a heightened state of energy and awareness
4. Being under erotic control is – well, erotic
5. When obtained, the orgasm is deeper and more intense
6. It creates harmony in the relationship
7. The ‘tease’ part of ‘tease & denial’ fills an emotional need for me
8. It places my princess in a position of power, and I love powerful women
9. Giving up my favorite hobby is a sacrifice in her honor that allows me to express my devotion
10. It keeps me in a place of harmony and peace
11. It prevents my addiction to sex from flaring up
12. It keeps me in a subdued, more satisfied mode

Some of the thoughts above may seem duplicate (they do even to me right now) but when I thought of them they were perfectly distinct and separate. Maybe I'll change this as time goes by, but for now, here is my list of reasons.

How does it compare to yours, if you care to comment?

Coming from Behind, Attempt 2 of 3

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Coming from Behind, Attempt 1 of 3

Because of the black marble I drew the other day, I am not allowed to have an option to an orgasm (meaning, I can't draw any marbles) until one of two things has happened: I come while being taken anally, or I get taken anally three times and fail to reach orgasm. The first attempt was last night.

When Miss V went to work, she told me to cleanse my body for her, which I did. She came home and everything was all right, playing games with the family and other regular things until she announced that she was going to bed early.

I followed her and she laughed when she saw me enter the room. She knew what I was after.

"Did you do as you were told?" she asked. She had asked me to do some other things around the house in addition to cleansing myself.

"Really?" she said, in apparent surprise when I said that I had done as I had been told. "What a good boy!"

"Where is my thing?" she asked, in reference to our strap-on kit. She calls it her thing, as opposed to my penis, which is my thing. I pointed to it, it was ready. "Ah, there it is."

She was wearing a longish black blouse and long black trousers. She removed her trousers and her panties, but left her blouse on, as she adjusted the straps around her hips and waist. I wish I could have taken a picture of her, but I doubt she would have allowed it (probably a good idea, because today I caught my mother, who is visiting for a few days, going over the images in my camera, and I don't know what might have happened)

She turned around, leaning a bit towards me to that her blouse covered the dildo.

"How do I look?" She asked teasingly.

"You are a vision of perfection,"I answered. Yes, a little tacky, I know...

Then she straightened up, lifting her shoulders, so that her 'erection' could pop from underneath her blouse.

"Get over here," she said. I love it how she becomes commanding as soon as she wears the strap-on.

I went there and she pushed me over the bed, and proceeded to penetrate me from behind. It was a little hard to get in and she joked that her thing needed more excitement, so I pulled my hand backwards and grabbed her imaginary balls, rubbing her labia a bit in the process.

"Like this?" I asked.

She said that it was actually nice, but didn't let me do it again, pushing me down instead.

The only topping from the bottom I did all night was telling her that perhaps she needed to spread my cheeks wide to gain better entry.

She fucked me for a long time, and twice I was about to come, but it somehow dissipated.

"Time's up,"she said after a while, pulling out and dropping her thing to the floor  before I had a chance to react.

Then she pulled me towards her, and we made love with me on top until she had an orgasm.

"That's it", she said. "Your job here is done."

And like that, she went to sleep, leaving me in the throes of unfulfilled desire, just Like I wanted.

Or I thought I wanted...