Reason 1 of 12: I feel the need to subdue my urges and desires

Recently, while enjoying some time off, I had time to think about why I want orgasm control and came up with a list of 12 reasons. These reasons were listed in the order they came to mind, which may or may not follow a logical order. After posting that list, I thought it would be a good exercise to post a brief explanation of each one of them, here is reason number 1.

FOR THE COMPLETE LIST OF REASONS, SEE THIS POST

 

I have often felt that my sexual urges are like a beast that needs to be tamed in order to stop it from dominating every aspect of my life. In essence, it comes down to controlling what would otherwise control me, or putting it another way, to harness the energy of the beast and turn it into a good use.

When it comes to sex, I was a late bloomer, but if sex came late into my life, it came strong and unbridled. There was a time in my life when I became literally addicted to sex in a way that I could not be productive in any other endeavor and sex became an obsession, a powerful dominating force in my life. During the darkest hour of my addiction, I was having trouble concentrating on almost anything, and was having memory lapses, and moments when I simply lost the best use of my faculties and could say that my sexual urge was making decisions for me. The more I tried to repress the need, the stronger it became and the worse the result when I finally gave in to it.

I read once that an addict is never cured, but goes on remission.

Since my marriage, I have not had sexual encounters with anyone besides my wife, whom I love with all my heart (something I was not capable of doing during my addiction years). I was to give her my all, and not keep anything from her. This is the reason I want her to dominate my sexual life, because if this beast is not dominated, it has the potential, a very real and strong potential, to dominate me instead.

And this is my first reason.