Friday, December 18, 2015

This is porn for me

The image has the credit.

Learned something on my release

I was locked for only four days, which works for me because not having been locked for a long time, the device was bothering me a little by the third day.

Victoria got up early and went to set everyone ready for school, but then she came back and threw the key at me.

"Open up!" she said, starting to undress. I did not question her one bit, although I prefer the way she unlocked me before.

We made out, and she gave me a hand job which ended, predictably, in a sticky mess.

Then she told me something that made me think.

"I'm OK with this as long as I don't have to see it," she said. "It creeps me out."

What  this made me think is that Victoria is not so much opposed to me being locked per se, but to actually dealing with the device itself. She does not even want to see it, This is not a let down for me, on the contrary, because now I know that the way to bring chastity back to our relationship is to just take a little bit of the responsibility. The way it worked this time, I asked her if it was OK to lock myself up until she wanted to release me, and she said "Sure".

I think she's going to be OK with it when I ask again, which I have not done because my balls have been aching a little since I unlocked.

I took this time to study my own reaction. I noticed that I was completely devoid of submissive feelings after my release, which is a bit unusual, so I made it a point to put some effort and do chores around the house, unasked. The biggest needs were laundry and dishes, so I took those. The bathtub was dirty, but my daughter had used it to clean her pet's cage, so I got mad and told her she had to clean it.

I did not feel tempted to play with myself until yesterday (Thursday). That's another thing I've learned. Whenever Victoria releases me, I last several days satisfied, but if I masturbate, I want to do it again  the next day. Hell, sometimes I want to do it again the SAME day!

So, technically, I could have been unlocked for 4 days, and be locked yesterday without running in danger of playing with myself. I didn't masturbate, but I know myself and know that I wanted to.

I'm rambling and don't think I'm doing a good job at explaining anything, so I'm going to summarize and finish this.

  1. I was locked up for four days, which seemed quite long because of discomfort.
  2. Victoria does not mind me being locked up, but doesn't like seeing the device,
  3. I did not feel submissive at all after my release, but pushed myself to be good
  4. I was released and was not horny until 4 days were up
What does this indicate? I think I can get some chastity in my future, as long as I don't push it too much or make a big deal out of it. 

We'll see how it goes.

UNRELATED NOTE: I was thinking about Sofia today (which is a sure sign that I'm horny) and realized that I never finished telling the story here. Nothing of note happened. I went on vacation, then when I came back I didn't really go to the deli for lunch the week I was here. I had a business trip the following week, so I have not seen her for a while, which is good, because she still knows how to push my buttons and was doing a terrific job at it. If I see her again, which is likely to happen if she remains in town, I'll write about it here.

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Casually Locked Up

Let's get the most exciting portion of this update out of the way first: I am locked up in my chastity device again.

This is the device I own. 

I returned from a business trip on Friday. I was gone for a week and was both missing my wife and feeling the effects of the excessive masturbation that I usually engage in when in these trips. When I arrived, Victoria was at work and she arrived after I was already sleeping, so I didn't see her.

Saturday morning, I awoke with a morning wood and a warm wife next to me so I did what came naturally and began to caress and kiss her. She let me kiss her between her legs, but not for long. She pulled me up and we kissed for a bit before she reached down and grabbed my crotch over my underpants. She held my penis and balls firmly for a few seconds and said "This is going to stay in your pants today" and then she let go and cleaned her hands, who had gotten wet by my precum, over my chest.

She explained that she had to go to work (again) and reminded me that they were in one of those times about four times a year when she works 14-hour days, I groaned inwardly, but outside I let her know how much I love her.

She left.

I started playing with myself, and was about to finish off when I decided to stop myself. I am like a masturbation addict in that even though I don't want to do it, I end up doing it anyway. On travel, I usually allow for it because I have a history of enhanced stupidity when horny, so I try to remain sated, but at home, I really want some control.

Before work, Victoria was at the supermarket helping my daughter buy some stuff for a party she is hosting today, so I knew she would not be driving yet so I texted her:

"If you had [name of a personal servant] coming to your house today, what would you have him do?"
The name of the servant is not real, but from a running family joke, so I'll not use it here.

It took all of 20 seconds for the reply: "Unpack and clean my bedroom".

So, I had my assignment. Now for the tough part.

"May I please be locked up in chastity until you want to take care of me?"

A longer pause this time. I thought she was not happy with the message, but then I got her response: "Sure!"

I proceeded to lock myself up, put the emergency keys (she has the other set) in her jewelry box and proceeded to do as she had asked.

When she arrived, after another 14 hour day, I was done, The room was clean as she asked, and the unpacking had been done. We went to bed with no further event, other than the fact that I was locked. I dreamed that she was playing with me without unlocking me and got up as my device pulled on my junk. It took me a while to be able to go back to sleep.

Once we were up in the morning, I asked Victoria if there was anything she would have her servant do, and she said that her servant could look around and see what needed to be done. She sat on the couch to eat her breakfast and I was about to sit with her when she told me "Don't sit!" But I was already in the process of sitting, so I immediately stood up.

"Make me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and put it in a sandwich bag for me," she said as she ate her breakfast. "But don't be skimpy with the peanut butter and the jelly."

I prepared the sandwich as instructed and as I gave it to her I warned her not to squeeze it or there would be a mess.

"Look girls," she said to my daughters. "Your dad is finally learning how to make PB&J."

She left.

So far, I cleaned the stove, did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen floor. Later, I'm going to do some laundry and after my daughter's friends leave, I'm going to make sure the house is clean again, which will include doing some chores and also making sure my daughter does some.

So, that's it. Without much fanfare and very casually, I got locked again,

 Victoria's 14-hour days are over, so tonight she should get home at a decent hour, but if experience serves me any good, I know she will probably be too tired to play, so I will remain locked until tomorrow at least. This will mean that Victoria's manservant will be here another day.

I'm not going to make a big deal of it, but slowly and casually, I'm going to to continue to show that there is a correlation between the chastity belt and the visits of Victoria's manservant.

We will see what new developments this brings.

Friday, August 14, 2015

Quick Update

Just a quick update to say that I didn't go to the park to see Sofia, and even though earlier today I felt really stressed (and let's be honest, horny) I am now feeling better about my decision.

I am not going to be at the office next week, so I won't see her for lunch on Thursday either (I told her last week) so maybe with two weeks of not seeing her, the thing will calm down, and when I say the thing, I mostly mean her. I don't think I will calm down, because I have not calmed down in more than 20 years.

Like I said, i will be away a week, so no Sofia, but also no Victoria. Just me with a bunch of coworkers on a business conference.

Also, I posted something new in my Victoria's Playground blog (where I explore chastity play from a more theoretical point of view). It's about how both sides win in a chastity relationship. If interested, you can go HERE.

I have more material already written for that blog, so maybe I'll post something during the week I'll be away (if I have any energy left from aaaaaaall the sex I will be getting alone in a hotel room in another state, which according to my latest calculations will be... uh... Zero)

I hope Victoria gives me a farewell blow job... I know I don't deserve it, but I still hope.

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Caught in the act and a Dangerous Invitation.

Part 1: Caught in the Act

It was Sunday morning. Victoria had woken up early and I found the bed empty besides me when I did. I sighed and thought about all things that are not happening, and felt like an idiot remembering those days a couple years back when I could have all the sex I wanted but I was unhappy because I wanted her to dominate me.

My thoughts strayed as they usually do when I'm alone with them for a while, and evolved into fantasies as I started to masturbate. The door was closed and the house was quiet. I edged myself and stopped, wondering if I should just finish it and go along with my day. Yes, I decided. I will take care of this, like Victoria wants and then be able to go outside and be on a better mood.

I was pretty darned excited when all of a sudden the door opened and Victoria walked in, catching me with my slippery penis held with both hands.

"You want me to lock the door?" she asked, unfazed.

My face must have gone from red to purple.

"Can you help me?" I asked, cursing inwardly at the lame sound of my own voice. It was the first time I had spoken that morning and the voice came out more a pathetic whimper than usual. .

She looked at me for a second or two. I totally expected that she was going to say no, but she answered with a question of her own.

"Can you wait?"

I said yes, and she told me that she would be back when she was ready. I don't know how long it was, because I think I may have slipped into sleep for a few minutes there, but she came back and told me to uncover.

"You didn't keep it hard for me," she said looking at my now flaccid member. "You have to keep it hard for me."

"I will," I said, now that I knew.

She told me to get comfortable and gave me a relatively short blowjob, probably just with the intention of shortening the time the handjob would take and then proceeded to take the lotion and do her thing.

Several times she played and placed pressure on my ass, which got me very excited, but then she pulled back, never really entering. I don't know why, but she used to insert her fingers in my ass before, but she has not done it for years (even though now she totally fucks me with the strapon). This back and forth actually caused a delay in the process and she ended up playing with my penis longer than she should have need to.

Eventually she got tired and had me finish the job with my hand while she rubbed my balls and my ass with her other hand. She cuddled with me for a little while, which made me feel closer to her and less depressed. I have been depressed recently because of my lack of closeness with Victoria and my fantasies with my Ex.

Part 2: A dangerous invitation

Which brings me to today. Yes, it is Thursday, and we met again. She wanted to go to the Indian restaurant and of course, just like it was those many years ago when I knew nothing about my own submissiveness, what she wants, she gets. I had a curry made with pistachios. Pretty good. She had a vegetarian dish that I can't pronounce, much less remember. She's no vegetarian, she reminded me, but she liked the ingredients listed on the menu, so went for it.

The lunch went mostly uneventful. She didn't mention anything related to the subject of this blog while we were in the restaurant, and didn't even wear the boots she had word last week, even though she had said she would. I didn't ask why, because I don't want to give her the impression that I am asking her to wear them (which she probably would). After we paid, separately, even though I offer to pay, and walked out she asked me a startling question.

"Want to go to my place Friday night?"

OK, here is where I need to be really honest with myself. I was wondering if something like this was about to happen. I mean, come on! I'm not an idiot! This woman used to suck and swallow me every night! She is not the same girl she was back then, but she has been seeing me for lunch for the last , what, five weeks? Four?

I declined, politely. Why was it so hard? (And not only talking about the decision to say no)

She smiled. Knowingly.

"It's not what you think," she said. "My baby is going to be home, you two can meet. I just want to catch on and talk about things, These lunches go by so fast and there is always people around. I want to get to know you again... be friends."

Oh, the irony...

When I broke up with her that long time ago, she told me that she wanted to continue being friends and I said that I could not be her friend, because after all we had been through together we were "all or nothing". Yep. I actually said that. The wisdom of the ages...

"I'll wear the boots," she said musically, sticking her tongue out at me when I looked.

"You've always worried too much," she said when I said I could not. "Look, I'm not trying to seduce you. I promise. If that changes you'll be the first to know, OK?"

"What?" I asked. Not sure I understood.

"I'm not interested in you right now," she said. "Not THAT way, anyway, but you never know. I might change my mind. If that happens, I'll tell you, so you know I'm not trying to trap you".

"What if you change your mind before Friday?" I asked. Only half joking.

"I'll tell you and you can leave," she said. "If you WANT to."

I looked up again, She laughed. "Oh my god!" She said. "You have not changed!"

I said that I had to leave, but she tried one more time.

"Look," she said, now more serious. "If you feel weird going to my house, How about me and my baby go for a picnic by the boardwalk to watch the sunset and you just happen to walk by and I invite you to have a sandwich with us?"

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

"We'll be there anyway," she said. "from around 6 til dark. You're welcome to drop by and have a sandwich if you want."


We parted.

And I have been thinking about that all day. Why did that woman appear again in my life? Why do I still like her so much that for the very first time I'm actually afraid that I could cheat on Victoria?

It would be so unfair to cheat on Victoria now. She's given me my children and the best years of her life, literally. And has tolerated me and my follies all this time.

I can't.

I can't.

But it's so damned hard!

I don't think I'm going to that picnic. No matter what Sofia says, it is not safe, emotionally for me, even if nothing happens.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

More Surprises at the Thursday Deli

I felt bad that what prompted me to write this was an encounter with my ex, Sofia, and not by something that happened with my wife, Victoria. So, I’m adding an update of things with Victoria first. This turned out to be a longer post that I expected, so I left some thoughts out. I may post another one soon with my ideas of what's going on....

A few days ago I wrote about the dream I had when I had sex with Victoria. Well, the next day I told her about it, in what I thought was a totally innocent manner, and she snapped at me. I don’t mean she made one cutting remark, or anything like that. It was a real, full-fledged drill with yelling and the works. She told me how insensitive I was, that I obviously didn’t understand that she was in pain and could not have sex, because when she did she didn’t enjoy and was in so much pain afterwards that she could do nothing else… And she went on and on.

And on...

This was really hurtful and confusing to me, because ever since she told me about her problem, the only times we’ve had penetrative sex have been when she asked for it. I have not asked, and on at least two times, I asked her if she was sure before entering her. One of the times, she she changer her mind and said no, but the other one she rushed me into doing it.

I really think there is a missing link in our communication here, because apparently she feels that I’m pushing her into having sex when nothing could be farther from the truth.

Well, that’s that for Victoria. Clearly I have to have a talk with her.

Now, back to Sofia.

Today, when I walked to what is becoming the Thursday Deli to have lunch, I found Sofia already there. She was sitting on one of the outside tables, next to the one we sat on last week. She was fooling around with her phone, but put it away as soon as she saw me. She smiled as I noticed that she was wearing high-heel boots. The rest of her outfit was a very serious dark grey office set with a short skirt (since she is petite, all her skirts are short) and a white blouse, but I noticed the boots first because she was sitting cross legged so one of her boots extended beyond the table.

I said hello and was about to sit when she told me to stop, which I did, thinking that perhaps there was something on the chair, but there was nothing there.

“Kiss my boot first,” she said pointing to the tip of her black boot and waving it around.

I stood there like an idiot, stammering instead of saying anything. Why was this happening? For the first time in my life a woman had ordered me to kiss her boots and I could not do it. I didn’t know that I could sweat so fast on a relatively fresh day.

“I knew you weren’t going to do it,” she said lowering her foot to the sidewalk and laughing.

I recovered enough to ask her why she had done that and she reminded me of last week, when a hot girl from a nearby office had walked by on boots and I had mentioned that I would kneel and kiss her boots is she asked me.

“Well,” she said after I confirmed that I remembered. “I wanted to show you that you wouldn’t do it, and you should not say you would.”

We both walked into the deli to get food and when we came back, someone else had taken the table, so we sat on the other side and continued to talk while eating.

I mentioned casually that I hoped she had not gone and bought that pair of boots just to prove a point, and she said that I shouldn’t be silly. Why would she spend money to make a point? She explained that she had purchased them a long time back, but only used them for special occasions and rarely for work.

Then she asked me the question: “I knew you were not going to kiss my boots in public, but would have done it if we were alone?”

I had to think about that one. If she had asked last week, or even earlier today, I would have answered yes, of course I would, but after the feelings I experienced when she actually asked, I hesitated. I realized that the fantasy is not that a woman orders me to kiss her boots, but that Victoria does it. I know I can go pay a pro and she will make me kiss and lick her boots to my heart content, but that’s not it. I realized then that I would surely NOT have kissed that other girl’s boots last week, but I could not say outright that I would not have kissed Sofia’s if we were alone.

The difference is that even though we broke up years ago, there is still the connection of having been together and intimate for almost 3 years. This would have been much closer to reality than a pro or the stranger from the other office, but it would still not be Victoria. How would I go home to Victoria after kissing Sofia's boots? But on the other hand, How could I deny that I wanted to do it? 

“I don’t know,” I confessed.

“I think you wouldn’t,” she said. “You feel like you would like to do it, but if push came to shove, you wouldn’t do it.”

“Why are you so sure?” I asked.

“Because that would be like cheating on your wife,” said Sofia. “And you never cheat”.

She paused for a little while, finishing her sandwich and gathering the trash on the tray.

“Remember Diana?” She asked.

I do remember Diana. She was Sofia’s roommate in her first or second year of College, if not both. A hot blue-jeaned blonde with a jerk for a boyfriend who treated her like crap.

“You didn’t cheat on me with her,” said Sofia after I confirmed that I remembered. “And I gave you the perfect chance.”

“You KNEW about that?” I asked, surprised.

“Baby,” she said smiling. “I planned it.”

Let me tell you what happened. This girl Diana had been talking for a while about how she wanted to cheat on her boyfriend and have a secret “adventure” to see how it felt. She never told me this. Sofia did. One day, she suddenly called me at home and told me that Sofia had given her my phone number. It turned out that she was stranded out of town and needed for me to pick her up and bring her over to their apartments. The university was a two hour drive away and I was supposed to head that way later that night, but she sounded really distressed, so I agreed to go pick her up right then.

When I reached the appointed location, I found Diana. She looked gorgeous in her form-fitting jeans and (yes) boots. As we drove away, she told me that she had come to town to have sex with an older guy she knew from before she met her boyfriend, and explained that she did it because she could not stand her boyfriend was wanted to cheat on him. Then she told me that the guy had another friend in his place and were doing drugs and both wanted to take her, so she had fled. During the 2 hour drive she told me how nice I was and how she loved the way I treated Sofia. She totally gave me the vibe that she wanted to replace the cheating goal with me. She even insinuated that her boyfriend and my girlfriend would never know. At her insistence, we stopped at a restaurant for food, and she insisted that she would pay me back, because she had no money. She really hit on me. The fact that Sofia would not be home until late in the evening (at which time I was supposed to see her) came up. I knew then that I could have gotten my way with Diana if I wanted, but I didn’t.

It turns out that Sofia planned it all.

“So it was all fake?” I asked.

“No,” said Sofia. “Diana really wanted to cheat with someone. I just offered you up on the condition that she had to tell me what happened.”

“Why would you do that?” I asked, looking at the time. I had to head back to the office soon.

“I was young and na├»ve,” she said. “I thought it romantic to test the love you professed. She was beautiful, available and I knew she liked you.”

“But, what if I had taken her on her offer?”

“My loss, I guess,” she said. “Although back then I thought that if you cheated I’d be better off without you.”

“I should have fucked her,” I mused, quickly apologizing for the language.

“Maybe you should have,” said Sofia smiling. “But you didn’t.”

“I didn’t.”

“And I bet you have never cheated on your wife either,” she said.

“No, I haven’t,” I said, with a mixture of pride and embarrassment, although I don’t know why.

The conversation was kind of over, and I had to head back, so we said our farewells and she asked me to put the garbage away, since she was going to stay at the deli a bit longer.

“Should I wear the boots next Thursday?” Sofia asked with an impish grin.

“Only if you promise not to ask me to kiss them,” I said.

“Promise,” she said, a hand to her breast.

And that, as they say, is that…

Monday, August 3, 2015

And then I woke up.

I had nice quiet sex with Victoria last night.

She was laying sideways in bed when I joined her in bed, and as I got under the blankets, I noticed she was wearing a pair of black panties that I like. I went under the blankets but didn't wake her. I toyed with myself a little, got a nice erection, but was too tired and not thinking to pursue anything else.

At some point, my movements must have awakened her, because she moved back towards me, into spooning position. I was still erect and she moaned when she felt it pressing against her pantied bottom. The rest happened too fast, and suddenly the flimsy layer of cloth was gone and I was penetrating her from behind, grabbing her hips and moving rhythmically with her.

I had missed it so much!

It didn't take me too long to get to the edge, and when I was about to come inside my beautiful wife, I woke up...

I blinked. I was exactly in the same position I was in the dream, and was hard as hell, but Victoria was not there. It was already early morning, and she had left the room. It took me a couple minutes to wind down, although my morning wood persisted a little bit longer.

I checked myself and noticed that no, I had not ejaculated in my sleep. That's when I realized, to my frustration, that I had been denied by a dream, teased into thinking I was having sex with Victoria and then have her cruelly taken away from my hands just when I was about to climax.

I have not had sex with Victoria since two weeks ago when she took me with the strap on, and even then it was all for me, as she is in too much pain to accept penetration.

I miss her and I wish that she would let me stimulate her and give her pleasure without penetration. I would be between her legs in no time if she asked, but she never does, and she declines when I offer, even though I have given her orgasms with my mouth before. I think that either she doesn't believe me when I say that I can give her oral sex and she doesn't have to do anything in return or she feels that oral sex is only a prelude and doesn't want to get all worked up if she is not going to finish it with vaginal, penetrative sex. One way or another, she can't have regular sex, and not accepting alternatives, so that's that.

So, here I am, going to work, frustrated by the denial of my own dreams... Add it to the list of reasons to hate Mondays... I am laughing at the absurdity of it all, because I want to be denied, and now I'm upset that I was... Because SHE didn't do it.

Am I just crazy? Please someone tell me this has happened to others.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Lunch with Sofia: A Surprising Revelation

NOTE: Today is Thursday, and I saw my ex again. I realize I didn't post about this, but she works out of an office near mine on Thursdays and she had told me that we could meet for lunch, Since I’m going to see more of her in the near future, I will call her Sofia for ease of reference, which is not her real name. Now, since I don't think it is fair to give her a fake name while I call my actual wife by her initial  so I'll just call my wife Victoria.

I saw Sofia again today. This time, I saw her early enough and waved to her as I was entering the deli to buy lunch. She joined me and asked me if I was going to buy “for here or to go”. I usually bring my food and eat it in my office, but I decided to eat it there, with Sofia. Something interesting is that the last time I saw her, it felt like a temptation, but this time, it didn't. I think it is because I had some sexual release with Victoria recently, not like the last time, that I had not.

We talked about inconsequential things for most of the time, like the weather, my children, her son (or is it a daughter? I don't remember)  but when lunch was nearly over and it was about time to return to the office, a young woman from my building walked by. She is not my co-worker, but I see her often, because she works in an office one floor below mine that must have a young-and-unreasonably-attractive hiring policy, because I have not seen anyone get to that floor, male or female, who does not meet that criteria. She was wearing high-heel leather boots and a short skirt, both black (don’t ask me what was above the skirt, because I wouldn’t be able to tell you).
I didn’t realize I was staring, but Sofia did. In our days together, she would have been very upset at that, and we would have had a fight (part of the reason I broke up with her) but today she just waited until I finished eye-stalking the way-too-young-for-me blond creature. I felt a little embarrassed when I met Sofia’s eyes again and realized that she’d been waiting in silence with a smirk in her face.

“You’ve always been quite the legs guy,” she commented casually. When we were dating all those years ago, she was pretty much flat-chested (not so anymore) so I always made sure she knew that I was a “bottom” type of guy and not a “top”.  It’s funny that I actually used those terms back then, referring to Butts vs. Breasts and not to Submissive vs. Dominant (although they coincidentally correlate). She said legs, but she meant ass. 

“Those boots!” I found myself saying before I realized who I was talking to, looking at the girl as she approached the corner. “If that girl told me to kneel on the floor and kiss them, I’d probably do it.”

Now, I have no idea why I blurted that out to Sofia. I have never told anyone anything like that (well, I told a few friends from high school in a class reunion once, but it was a joke). My theory is that since I had an intimate relationship with Sofia before, and I have no attachment to her now, I felt confident enough to make such a comment.

I finally realized what I had done when Sofia asked me if I liked dominant women. I looked at her again, and she was smiling innocently. I said yes, and I told her that I had fantasies of submitting to women.

“You never mentioned that to me,” she said. She would have indulged back then, even if it was only a fantasy, because we were young and she was of the “try everything once” persuasion.

“I didn’t know it back then,” I said. “I discovered it years after I married to Victoria”.

“Does she dominate you?”

“Well,” I said, finally hesitating, my boldness fading quickly at the mention of my wife. I don’t think I should be sharing private information about my relationship with Sofia.

“It’s okay,” she said, waving a hand. "It's none of my business”.

Of course, my non-answer had been eloquent enough, so I found myself blushing.

We finished the meal in silence, or rather I finished in silence. She had finished several minutes before. It was time for me to get back to the daily grind.

“You know?” Sofia said when we were leaving. “I wish you’d had told me back then”.

“I couldn’t,” I said, “I didn’t know”.

“I know,” she said. “I know, but everything would have been so much better.”

That REALLY got my attention. And I mean REALLY! I stopped. We were supposed to walk in different directions, but I suddenly felt an urgent need to ask her why she had made that comment.

“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging. “I guess I was afraid of you being gay or something.”

“What?” I asked. I don’t know what registered on my face, but Sofia started to laugh. “Why you say that? You were with me thinking I was gay?”

“I didn’t THINK so,” she said. “But sometimes I was afraid you might be... Don’t you have to get back to work?”

I did. I had actually exceeded the time allotted for my lunch break. Not that my bosses (I should tell you about my bosses some time) are too hard on enforcing it, but one should never abuse the privilege.

“I really want to know more about that,” I said as we bid farewells again. “Are you going to be around tomorrow?”

“No,” she said. “I won’t be working from here until next Thursday (August 6) but I’ll be in town Tuesday if you are up to having lunch again.”

I hesitated. August 4 is a special date for me, and I had been planning to take the day off to do something with Victoria (we have done something special on this date 3 years in a row) but it seems like we won’t be able to this time.

“I don’t think I can make it on Tuesday, and I’d hate for you to come down and not find me” I said.

“I’ll see you Thursday then?” She asked.

“Yes,” I said, as we parted ways. Last I saw her face, she still wore an ample smile.

Now, I’m bank home, wondering about the gay thing. I don’t have anything against gays, but I have never felt same-gender attraction, and have always identified as straight, so it was very curious that she thought I could be gay. I’ve been thinking about it and have no idea why she thought that. Blasted schedules that I’ll have to wait one week to find out.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Pain in the Ass

Surprisingly, My rear end is in pain today.

Being super horny after having multiple fantasies, but trying to avoid further temptation, I send a text message to Miss V where I asked her if she would use the strap on on me or give me a spanking. She answered with a simple "Yes", which left me dubious of what she had just agreed to and upset at the nature of compound questions.

Well, she had told me she would be home at 8 pm, which is really early for her job, and that she should not be tired, so I decided to be prepared for both eventualities and let it be. I know she dislikes being "pestered", so I avoided that.

I prepared myself, meaning that I cleansed well, inside and out, and cleaned the strap on dildo, which had not been used in a while, so it was a bit dusty.

When she arrived, she told me she had to do some computer work, and asked if we could watch a couple episodes of one of her shows. I was not about to say no to that, not when a spanking or a strap-on session awaited, but fortunately, the show was one that I also like. We watched two episodes, and then she asked me if i had prepared for what was to come. So, the strap-on it was.

She bid farewell to the kids, and asked me to do something, which I don't even remember, and to then meet her in the room.

When I got there, she was holding the silicone dildo and the harness and told me that she had forgotten how to set it up. She handed it over for me to set up. The irony didn't escape me that I was assembling the weapon she was about to use on me. Once I installed the barrel on the gun, I handed it back to her, and she put it on, clearly showing that she had not forgotten that part. Then she brought is over and placed it next top my already erect, but significantly smaller tool. She likes to do that. To bring her purple toy next to my flesh and blood one and touch them together. This time she didn't mention the fact that I'm a couple inches shorter than she.

Then she lubricated it.

"There," she said, spreading a towel over the bed.

I stood on  the side of the bed, my legs spread wide and leaned over it, so she could take me from behind, but then she slapped my ass with the silicone spatula. I think I've mentioned it before, but it hurts! It is not a thud, but a burning swat. She spanked me three or four times then asked me if I got it.

"Got what?" I asked. Foolish me...

For answer, all I got was a rapid succession of slaps with the spatula. I was expecting anal play, not a spanking, and it was not nice, but it made me feel her power, so I submitted to it.

"Got it now?" she asked. 

This time, I rapidly said yes.

She put the spatula to the side and entered me with the dildo. By now it was a little dry, so I asked her if she could lubricate it some more. She did and it entered gloriously.

She took me hard and long, the hardest and longest she's ever taken me. While she did me, she also hit me with the spatula, but since she was occupying some of the area where I am usually spanked, her impacts had to be mostly to the sides. After a while, I had a cramp on my leg and asked if we could switch positions, to which she responded that she thought that I was on a roll. I consented to remain bent over, but lifted my left leg over and rested it on the bed's side beam. She thought I had done this to allow her access to my penis, and crossing her right arm under mine, she grabbed it. Then she got closer and started to fuck me slow, while playing with my penis, squeezing my left nipple with her other hand and biting my neck. She did this for a while, and it was the best sensation I've ever had from anal play in my life (granted, not a lot of anal experience here).

When she grew tired, I asked again if I could turn around and she said yes. I laid face up, my ass at the edge of the bed and she entered me from there. This time I could look at her as she went inside and out of me. It was a sublime experience, to see her move, not as mechanically as I've seen her before, but with a fluid, sinuous movement that appeared real (I think, I have never seen someone with a real penis entering me).

I finished with a very strong orgasm. A lot of fluid came out in several spurts.

Her business done, she pulled out and started to clean herself.

I could not move, my muscles were locked into place and she had to help me get up. Later she told me to get her water, and that this had been a great workout.  I couldn't agree more.

So, that's the story behind the pain I feel in my abused asshole today. There is barely any redness on the cheeks, because the spanking was not severe enough, but my ass did take some punishment. 

I love this woman.

Friday, July 17, 2015

She wants something...

Yesterday, I saw my ex again, and we talked for a bit. She told me about her kid, showed me pictures of him and asked me about mine. I was a little embarrassed because I have a new phone, so I only have very few pictures. She made some mandatory jokes about men at my expense and then told me that she was happy to see that I had found what I had been looking for and was happy. Nothing more, regardless of all the fantasies I've been having. It was in a public place, near my office building. Of course I wasn't really expecting that she would come out of nowhere and want to have me back. It was all fantasy.

I came back to the office to end the day, and got a call from Miss V. You don't know this, but she rarely ever calls me. Usually she texts. I took the phone and she told me right away that she wanted to sleep in tomorrow, as in "sleep in". I asked her what she wanted to do and she said that she didn't want to do anything, but wanted ME to DO. Then she told me straight up that if she didn't get hers, I would not get mine.

This was surprising to me, not only because she already told me that she didn't want to have sex with me anymore, but because she was being so forward, which is very unusual for her. So there I was, maybe half and hour after having a chat with my ex, getting hard just because of my wife's phone call. She has the power, and if she used it, she could do whatever she wanted with me. This is so true, it's almost scary.

I obviously responded that I would do whatever she wanted me to do, and she said "We'll see..."

I will not see her tonight. She is working until late, and I'm sure I'll be wondering what she wants me to do, I know she wants something, but I don't know what.

What would I like it to be? (Warning: Pure fantasy. I don't expect any of what follows to become real)

She wakes up before I do, and starts playing with my cock to wake me up. When I'm horny and awake enough, she grabs me by the balls, hard and interrogates me about my encounter with my ex. It turns out someone told her that I had a coffee with her and she was waiting to see if I was going to tell her.

She tells me to kneel on the corner, grabs me by the chin and scolds me about trust and reliability. She decides that I won't be getting any sex for a week at the minimum and tells me that she is going to put me in the chastity device and that we will talk in a week about how long I will stay locked,

She gives me the hardest spanking I have ever gotten. Tears come to my eyes as she goes left and right, left and right. Then when I'm about to be broken, she tells me that she has decided that I'm going to serve her orally. 

I do, until I'm exhausted, and she finally has an orgasm (she's slow to orgasm orally) and then she tells me to get out of her sight, go make breakfast, do the laundry and clean the kitchen, I am not allowed to address her until these three things are done,

(End of Fantasy)

Well, this is irrelevant, because it is not going to happen, but she clearly wants something, and I wonder what it is.

Probably some vanilla act, so I better not get my hopes up.

More details to come.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Spanked! It Hurt!

NOTE: This happened before my previous post. I wrote it offline and forgot to post it. I apologize if I say something here that I already mentioned I'm adding a note at the end to update it.

I have not been writing here for a while, since Miss V has been sick and not willing to have any contact with me. The other day I couldn’t hold it any longer and I asked her to spank me. I basically said that I wanted to experiment with spanking and needed her help.

“I don’t have time”, she responded. “I have to go to work”.

“How long can it take to give me 30 on each cheek?” I asked, a little frustrated. “You’ll be done in less than 2 minutes”.

“OK,” she said, with a surprised expression I didn’t understand at the time. “Go to the bedroom.”

Even though her tone was not commanding in the absolute and that I had asked for it, I felt a little twinge down there when she said the words. I went to the room and she followed a couple minutes later.

“Get your pants off,” she said. Another twinge, more intense. “Do you want me to rotate between them or all at one time?”

I didn’t want to tell her what to do any more than I had already done, so I said that any way she preferred would be OK with me.

“How should I position myself?” I asked. There are not many options, because the room is quite crowded, but I could be standing, leaning over the bed, as I stand when she takes me from behind, or I could be on her lap, or flat on the bed.

She told me to be flat on the bed and I did. I buried my face in a pillow, holding it with both hands while wondering how hard she would go. I thought she would not go hard at all, to be honest, so when the first hit with the silicone spatula landed, hard and burning, I was pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised. Those of you that are spanked will understand that the apparent contradiction is a normal part of the spanking paradox.

I started counting them in my head, one, one, two, two, three, three… She was alternating between cheeks, and a good thing too, because they were stinging much more than I had anticipated.

“If you start bleeding, I’m going to stop,” she said, sending a shiver up my spine, not a shiver of pleasure, but of fear. Would she really make me bleed? I didn’t want to bleed… Or did I?

I was up to about 12 when I could not stand it anymore, and I broke my silence, with some sound that may have been an Ahhhh! And got out of position, turning around a little. Miss V. didn’t react to that. No “Are you OK?” or “Is this too hard?” Nothing at all. She just calmly waited for me to resume my position.

I fell back into the pillow as the methodical twats continued. By that time, I had lost count and had no idea how many I had left. That’s when I really submitted to my spanking. I just let it happen, allowing it to go on and stop whenever V wanted. I didn’t even know whether she was keeping count or not, or what that count was. I felt more submissive than I have ever felt, at her mercy. At the same time, I didn’t know how much longer I would be able to take it.

Suddenly, it stopped.

“Was that 30?” I asked when it became apparent that no more hits were forthcoming. My voice cracked a little.

“Yes,” she responded casually. I thanked her, and she laughed. She actually laughed, but I don’t know if it was because of the absurdity of me thanking her for beating me, or because she thought that I was thanking her for stopping. I let it go, not wanting to spoil the moment. In the past, I have had a problem of not speaking my mind when I should, and opening my mouth too often when I shouldn’t.

She walked away and I remained there, my exposed behind burning, while a little argument inside my head between my submissive and my fearful sides raged on. You probably know how it goes, but it is something like this:
  • -          You are an idiot. What have you done?
  • -          But I want it!
  • -          Yeah? What if she likes it too much for your taste?
  • -          But I want it!
  • -          You don’t even have an erection, you fool!
  • -          But… But… But…

Yes, Submissive me is not too articulate.

Miss V came back and before I knew it she was studying my red-hot-chili bottom. Quietly, she applied a cooling lotion all over and then left. She didn’t say anything. Nothing at all.

The next time I saw her was late that night when she came back from work. I was wearing a pair of pajama pants and she told me to turn around so she could examine my bottom. She said that it was still red, but no permanent damage had been caused. I assured her that the bottom had enough padding and that I would be OK.

That’s when she explained that she had been surprised when I asked for the spanking before she left for work, because she had thought that I wanted the spanking as foreplay. She then asked me something that surprised me.

“Do you spank yourself?”

I decided to be honest. I told her that over the years I had tried to do it, but I was unable to derive satisfaction from it because no matter how hard I tried, I could not do it hard enough (I carefully omitted that when it really hurt, I chickened out). The fuller truth I didn’t say is that when I was 8 years old, I took my pants off and tried to spank myself by hand while my minuscule erection raged on. Even earlier, I must have been 4 or 5 when I asked my grandfather in a dream to beat me up with his belt.

She took it in stride.

The next day, she checked again, and pronounced that it was still noticeable. I checked and couldn’t see it, but she insisted.

Now that I got my 30 spanks and experienced the exhilaration and the fear of it, I know for sure that even though I fantasize about spanking, the threat of it would work as a deterrent. I am formulating a plan to use spanking to develop healthy, positive habits.

And when I say “I’m formulating” I really mean that I have the whole thing planned out, with a spreadsheet that auto-calculates my demerits and how many spanks I get depending on me checking or unchecking boxes. In truth, all that is needed is Miss V’s agreement to spank me at least once a week, and her agreement/concurrence with the habits and their demerit value.

To make it easier for her, I can reduce her participation to the minimum, which is, apply the demerits. I can monitor, them and just give her a number, like the 30 I gave her for the experiment. Of course, she may refuse to do it, especially if I go with the spreadsheets and checklists already made…

I have to go now. Fearful me is calling.  

EDIT: Reading this, it sounds as if everything is all right, I was not yet aware of the magnitude of the problem we are having. Since writing this, my wife has told me that she does not want to have sex with me again, and that I should take care of my needs on my own, Something is fundamentally wrong with our relationship and I can't build an FLR over a flawed relationship. I'm going to have to figure out what the real root of the problems is, if it is beyond my wife's medical issues.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Failure and temptation...

Warning: Depressing Content Ahead...

The Chastity experiment didn't go well.

Miss V allowed me to wear the device, then forgot about it. A week later, she unlocked it, we had sex (which was surprisingly unfulfilling to me) Then she allowed me to be locked again, but told me she didn't want me locked up, because she didn't enjoy it. There was no tease and denial, just ignoring, as in the presence of the CB was offensive, so I had to weigh my options, and decided to give it up.

There was absolutely no reaction from her part when I said that I didn't want to be in chastity any longer. I approached her a couple times for sex after that, and she consented, but was not an enthusiastic partner. The frequency of my approaches diminished to once a week. For a few weeks, we had sex every Saturday morning, until she started scheduling work for that morning too.

I was devastated. She insisted that she had to do the work, which is true, but I know she is the one that schedules it, so it doesn't have to be done that early. The people that work with her don't usually respond until the weekend it over anyway, so working later on Saturday or even Sunday does not affect her work in the slightest.

The truth came out recently, thought.

She told me that sex had not been pleasurable for her any longer and that it was actually beginning to hurt. She asked me for understanding and told me that I should just "take care"of my own needs by myself.

I explained that I don't want to become addicted to masturbation as I was during a previous relationship, where I ended up masturbating up to 5 times per day. She dismissed it and suggested that my hormones are less intense today than they were 20 year ago.

In the end, she agreed to participate in masturbating me, and offered, without any prompting of my part, to take me with the strapon on occasion.

Faced with the prospect of no sex, this seemed like a good idea, so I agreed.

She masturbated me once. I texted her that I needed her to give me a hand and she responded "I'll be there in 5 minutes". She came, gave me a blow job and finished with her hands (she doesn't swallow). then she said that this was to prepare me for the full day of work she had for me and gave me numerous tasks to complete, which I did happily, thinking that we could reach some form of stable relationship, even if it didn't meet all my expectations.

But that was it.

One day she told me that she would fuck me, but I was sick. She didn't offer again.

Now I'm in a bind, because on the one hand, I am in a no-sex relationship with my wife, and on the other, an ex-girlfriend who just got divorced moved back to town a few weeks back. I had seen her once or twice from afar, and discovered that my memories of her are still there...  to the point that she is now a recurring character on my masturbatory fantasies, but last Thursday I bumped into her when shopping and she told me that she would like to meet for coffee one of these days to catch up. This is probably an innocent proposal, as I don't think she will sexually assault me over coffee, but that has not precluded my horny, sex-deprived brain from creating all kind of scenarios where this woman, and not my wife, is the protagonist.

I'm feeling very confused right now. I know I love my wife and want to honor the vows I made with her, so I'll probably will not meet with my ex, but I'm being completely unfaithful to my wife in fantasy anyway, so I wonder if it would be best to just meet this woman over coffee, When nothing happens, maybe the fantasies will fade.

Now, to better understand why this woman tempts me so, let me explain a bit. She was one of my earliest serious girlfriends. She was still in high school when we started dating and was in college by the time we broke up. A lot of my "firsts" were with her. She gave me my first hand job, my first fully realized blow job and hers was the first pussy I tasted. She was always open to try new things, except vaginal sex. I never entered her love canal, because she had this strange concept of keeping her virginity until marriage I say strange, not because I disagree with keeping yourself a virgin, but because I think after all the stuff we did, calling herself a virgin was just a technicality.

Ever since I discovered my submissive desires, I have thought that had I slayed with my ex back then, she would have eventually become my mistress. Now, there is no way of knowing that to be true, but I FEEL that it is, and that's what makes the idea dangerous...

There is another angle to this:

A couple week ago, I was feeling guilty over having sexual fantasies of my ex (and her sister) and asked Miss V to spank me and spank me hard. She asked me if I self-spanked and I answered that over the years I have tried to do it (true) but it has never been fully satisfying (also true).

Miss V spanked me so hard that she felt the need to apply some lotion to the affected area afterwards and I agreed with it. I thanked her and told her that I would appreciate it if she would spank me regularly to "encourage me" as she used to do with denial before.

"I don't know about that," she responded and explained that I need to stop feeling guilty for taking care of my needs. (I had not told her what I was really feeling guilty for) and that I should just take care of myself... this has increased my fantasies to the point that for the last few days, they have flourished into outbursts of creativity. I even had a dream three nights ago, where my wife told my ex that she was grateful to her for being available to take care of a part of me she didn't like, and just sat there watching while my ex ravaged me with teeth and nails... Sadly I woke up before she swallowed my load.

This is sick... I know.

I know my ex. I KNOW I'm going to "bump into her" this week. I know I'll probably say yes if she ask me out for coffee again... I know she will ask... And she will ask with all the innocence and smiles of someone who doesn't know she's been my favorite demon for quite some time.

 And I feel miserable about it all.

Friday, January 23, 2015

Working on my release homework

If you read my previous post, you know that Miss V locked me up in my new chastity device and game me a condition to gain my release: I was to develop a clear, concise set of rules by which to obtain my release. She didn't like the idea of leaving it open to her own decision, but wanted some clear rules for me to gain release. This, in my opinion, stems from two causes:

  1. Miss V wants to make sure that whatever she does to me has been consented by me in advance. I think this eliminates any feelings of guilt she may experience when doing things to me that she considers cruel or unusual. (Well, this is weird, but he asked for it)
  2. Miss V has a philosophy which is similar to that of Miss Rika, in which she thinks that giving me what I want should not represent work for her. She wants me to work to develop a set of rules to live by, and she wants them to be clear and simple.
I have been having a hard time coming up with the rules, basically because I am blocked by the fact that I am in chastity and that Miss V has been so accommodating and understanding. Since we are on opposite schedules right now, I had to text her a few questions and here are her answers:

Q - Do you want my release to be determined by random, like in the Marbles game, or do you wish to decide when i can come out?
A - Random

Q - Do you like to have action cards that you draw and direct you to an activity?
A - Nor particularly, but I can live with them

Q - Would you agree to use spanking, say once a week, as a motivational technique?
A - (laughs out loud) Sure, honey.

After these question, I'm working on these three premises
  1. I will have some random element in determining if I get to have an orgasm or come out of the chastity device. I will probably go back and use the marbles again, since they worked so nicely for our other game. By the way, the result are not completely random, because my adherence to a set of behaviors changed the proportion of green and red marbles in the pouch changing my odds, but when she wanted to have sex, she would randomly draw a marble, and abide my it, So the draw is random, but my actions affected the odds. I will go for that again.
  2. I will have the chance to write action cards. This works fine for two reasons, first, V does not like to "have to think"about the stuff she does and because I get to introduce many of my fantasies without directly telling her what to do. She gets veto power over any of the cards, so if she doesn't like a card, I don't get rejected directly, I will just not see it being used
  3. Miss V will spank me. What Im'; thinking of doing is making a list of "good habits" and use demerits as I fail to abide by them. This may or may not work because Miss V thinks that I like to be spanked, which is true, and because of that, I need to be rewarded and not punished with spanking, We'll see,
And what has happened since the time when she gave me the assignment? Not much, but Miss V seems super comfortable with me locked, When I was changing my pants to drive her to work, she grabbed my chastity device and pulled on it, and commented that I was cute, with a "bionic" member. I got hard under the device, my glans showing from the side windows.

Yesterday, I told her that I really wanted her and she responded that sometimes it is good not to get what you want. Today I asked if there was a chance that she would unlock me and she just looked at me and asked me "What condition did I give you to get unlocked?" 

"You said," I ventured to say. "That you really really wanted to unlock me and give me a hand job on Saturday". This of course, was a lie, 

"Well," she responded. "I will think about it, because today is Friday,,,"

I groaned. I really thought today was Saturday.

She smiled and told me that she would still consider unlocking me Saturday morning, but that she would not tell if she was going to do it, or what she would do with it once it was out.

I hugged her and told her that I was feeling so aroused that she was the only thing on my mind all day long,

Now I better get writing those rules she wants, because I would not put it past her to get me out of the device, have sex with me to her own orgasm and having me locked again,


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

I'm in Chastity!!!

"I need to  take a long, nice bath, said V getting up from the couch where we had been watching TV together. "After, we can talk about your, uh, metal toys. I need you to explain them to me, because I don't get it".

With  that, she went to the bathroom, leaving me hung up with surprise at the fact that she had been the one to breach the subject, We had not spoken about the device because our schedules had not allowed us time together for the past few days,

My mind was racing at top speed as I carefully considered how to frame my explanation, I decided to go in the direction of simplicity, and use the one rule I wrote about elsewhere. In case you have not read that article, here is the one rule:


The male wants to earn an orgasm and is willing to do as much as he can to please his woman in order to earn it. The woman wants the male to strive for his orgasm and wants to delay it as much as possible to enjoy the benefits.

So, there I was, all ready and excited and horny (have not had sex in a while now) and my wife bringing the subject up.

After she finished in the bathroom, and it really took a long time, I joined her in the room. She was busy with stuff from work, and I waited... and waited.

When I felt that I was about to fall asleep, I asked her if she was almost done, to which she said no, and asked me if I needed anything.

"I thought you wanted to talk about my chastity,"I answered in as casual a voice as I could muster. 

"Oh, yes,"she said. asking me to wait one minute for her to finish something, and then asking, "So, explain this  game to me, I don't get it, What do you want to play?" 

"Well," I said. "It's simple, I want you to have control, and acknowledge that you have it, which you will do by locking me in the device and keeping control of the key. I want to have orgasms, and to treat you in a way that makes you want to get me out of the cage and let me have them."

Of course, when I was saying it, it didn't sound as clear as this, There were much hesitation, and circular conversation.

"I don't like it.., The marbles game was so much easier,"she said referring to the old chastity game we used to play. "In that game, I knew exactly what the rules were, and knew what to do, On this game, I'm not so sure. I'm not a gamer, so I can;t make rules up, so you have to give me something clearer than that,:

I paused, thinking that the opportunity was slipping through my fingers. What to say? What rules could I give her? If I control the game, than I'm not under her control, right?

"I think," I said after a long pause, "I'm going to have to think some more about it."

"Well," she said. "Maybe this will motivate you to think, The condition for the lock to be open is going to be that you give me a well thought set of clear rules for you to follow. You are going to be locked up until you give me that",

I gasped. I could not believe what I was hearing. I was going to be in chastity even though I had botched my opportunity to introduce it properly, and Miss V was making the decision!

I asked her if she wanted me to be locked right away and she said "Of course!"

"I really, really want you," I said. "Can I get a hand job before you lock me up?" 

She looked at me for an instant, and I knew she was considering it. She was on a trip and arrived in her cycle, so we have not been intimate for quite some time, but the moment didn't last, She smiled and said "No". 

"Maybe on Saturday," she said afterwards. 

We talked a little bot about logistics, about cleaning the device, about what to do in case of emergency (cut the lock) and about it being difficult to put on when aroused (which I was, very much) and then I went to take a shower. 

I struggled with the device but eventually managed to get into it, When I came out of the bathroom, holding it through my bathrobe, Miss V was sitting on the couch, so I walked there.

"The other way, mister,"she said. "Go to your room,"

I went to the room and she followed. Then she placed the lock on the device, and clicked it shut.

"Bye bye birdie,"she said kissing the key and putting it into her necklace. "You are going to be locked for a long time,"

So, here I am now, locked in chastity for the first time, leaking precum all over the place, with a bit if homework to do and wondering how it ends...

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Miss V. Meets my Chastity Device

V is back from her travels, and I introduced her to the chastity device today.

I was waiting to introduce it to her AFTER we had sex, but she had some information to share with me that made me change my mind: She is on her period.

So, there was not much time, because after we cuddled in bed for a bit and I was kissing her belly and over her panties she told me she had to go. There will be more talking about this, she said, but at least they 'met' each other. 

Here is how the conversation went:

ME: "Well. I was waiting to tell you after we had sex, but since we are NOT going to have sex, I might as well tell you now."

HER: (applying her makeup in front of the mirror) What is it, honey?

ME: "While you were gone, my Christmas gift finally arrived"

HER: (looking around) "What did you get?"

ME: "It's a chastity belt" 

HER: "What? I'm not gonna wear it!"

ME: "I know, it's for me!"

HER: "Well, YOU can wear it, but I'm NOT going to wear it!"

ME: "No, you can't wear it. It is a cage, It holds to the penis."

HER: "Oh, OK then."

ME: "Do you want to see it?"

HER: "Only if you can hurry, I need to go." 

ME: (handing her the lock with the two tiny keys) "Here, hold this."

HER: (puts the lock on her necklace and locks it) 

ME: (grabbing the pouch from the bedside table and bringing the device out) "I actually need the lock. This is the ring, and this is the tube. The ring goes behind the balls and the tube needs to be locked to  hold in place."

HER: (taking the lock off her necklace again) "Of course the lock is for you! What am I thinking?"

ME: (Assembling the chastity device in my hand, there is no way I can put myself into it at this point, since I had a throbbing erection) "So, this is how it goes." 

HER: "This is so funny! Here," (hands me the keys) "keep it together. I don't want to lose it. I don't understand the game, but I'm game. I actually think it is kind of cute, but I don't have time right now. I have to go."  

Well, after that, she finished getting ready, and left.

Now, I'm here, so happy that I finally presented her with the device and wondering what on earth was so scary that kept me from doing this a ling time ago. I should be aware by now that the way to approach V with kink is when sex is NOT on the table and when we are both relaxed and playful. Every time I have done it, she has gone with it, but usually, when I ask for kink during sex or when approaching sex, she does not feel too excited about it.

I'm sure we are going to be talking about it later, and her reaction of trying to put the lock on her necklace right away tells me that she will hold my key without a problem. 

This is a golden opportunity that I can't let go to waste, but I'm not 100% sure on how to handle. I think it is best to leave it open as in "Let's run a trial and talk about some more later" so we can address any issues. I don't want to get stuck in a set of rules that is not optimal for both of us, 

Any suggestions will be appreciated, although I don't know how much time I'll have before I have to discuss it with V (maybe tonight,if I don't fall asleep before she gets here).

Wish me luck.