UPDATE: Weight Loss Milestone

This week has not brought anything good to our relationship. Miss V has been stressed out with her work and I have not been too helpful, so I have not been helping much. I do Have a bit of good news, though.

After all this time, and the intensity of the feelings (both positive and negative) that our orgasm denial have brought, I just realized that I have forgotten to say anything on this blog about my weight loss, which was my initial purpose (excuse) behind instituting the practice of orgasm control to begin with.

Well, unless you want to go back and read the whole thing, here is a condensed version:

1. I had become overweight to a point where it was becoming unhealthy. My blood pressure was becoming a little high, and my knees and ankles were hurting. Interestingly, even though those things could lead to serious problems, what got me to react was when Miss V told me that I was too heavy to make love to her.
2. I asked Miss V to deny me orgasms every time I didn't work out. She agreed, suggesting that she knew it would be helpful.
3. After changing some rules here and there, I started to have some success, and had lost some weight when I got injured (actually, an old injury flared up) and had to take a period of a few weeks of rest. I gained all the weight back minus two pounds.
4. More changes to the rules ensued, although Miss V never suggested to stop playing, and I began to have more consistent progress, up until now.

So, here is the update: Last week I reached 20 pounds of weight loss, so even though I have not been mentioning it in the blog, the weight loss has been steady. This loss happened between the end of July, when I started working out again after my injury, and now (December).

Working out consistently has been more effective that working out hard. Since I can't really work out that hard, because my old spinal injury prevents it (this happens when you are young and drive like you are immortal) I can only either increase the workout duration or frequency. After the injury this summer, I could not work out too long, and had to reduce the duration from 30 to 20 minutes, but doing it every day has helped quite a bit.

So, there you have it.

20 pounds of weight loss on the one hand, and a lot of orgasm denial on the other. I call it a win-win scenario.

I only need to get out of this slump and step it up for Miss V, because I feel we are losing some of the ground we gained before.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

As I mentioned before, I have requested that Miss V do not  show me the color of the marble that she pulls. Here is the account of the first usage of this rule:

SERVICE UNACCEPTABLE

I had a day off from work, and Miss V asked me to cook lunch, do the dishes, make dinner and clean my room in exchange of an extra green marble (remember that whenever she feels like having sex, she pulls a marble from the container and its color determines whether or not I'm allowed to cum).

I did everything as she asked, except that the room was not 100% clean. I cleaned everything except my desk, which I left cluttered. Between that, working out, and watching the movie Miss V selected for the night (Adam Sandler's Jack and Jill) I didn't have time for much else.

When night came, and we met in bed, I grabbed the container that holds the marbles to make the changes and as usual, I asked if I could put two green marbles in.

"Did you clean the room?" She asked.

"Yes," I said proudly. I had worked hard on it and I thought it showed.

"No," she said casually. "You just picked up two shirts from the floor and you want to call that cleaning. You don't get an extra bead for that."

I bit my tongue and refrained from protesting. I could have argued, and could have probably won the argument, but this was a battle in which a victory would be more of a setback in the long term, so I swallowed my pride and said OK, placing one single green marble in the container.

I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING!

Having placed only one marble in the container, my odds were really low. There were 3 green and 13 red ones (after the Sunday reset, where I have to remove 5 green ones) so I didn't have too much hope of having an orgasm.

Kneeling by the bed side, I handed the container to Miss V and closed my eyes. She opened it, puled a marble and laughed out loud before handing the container back to me. After putting it away, I climbed on the bed and we started to kiss, and I rubbed her legs, and we slowly removed each other's clothes. She climbed on top and rode me first, until she had her first orgasm. Her orgasms when riding on top are never super strong, and sometimes I don't notice them, but this time I noticed it.

We turned around and in a bit of a mood killer, pulled her hair in the process. Hard.

She forgave and forgot, though, and in no time I was in her again, pumping her hard for her second and possibly third orgasms (can't tell on this one, so I didn't add it up in the count).

"What are you waiting for?" She asked sensuously as she cooled down from what could have been #3.

"Your instructions," I said while continuing to penetrate her.

"Go for it, baby!" She said.  "You can come for me!"

That's where I lost it. Desperate for an orgasm and hopeful at the prospect of cumming inside her and let go of my inhibitions, pumping hard and fast, on the verge of a glorious orgasms, I heard her voice again...

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding..." she said, mimicking a Mexican gardener that appeared in the movie we had just watched. "Good Night."

So there, on the verge of orgasm, shaking like a wet chiwawa, I had to stop...

"Remind me why I asked for this," I said not pulling out of her yet.

"Because you are weird," she said, 'goodnighting' me again.

"I love you," I said as I pulled out of her wet, dripping pussy.

"I love you too."

And so, grateful to Miss V for accepting my weirdness, I stared at her face until she fell asleep.

REFLECTIONS

There were a few development here. I can list a few:

• Miss V rejected my work based on lack of quality. At other times, she had been very generous in granting me extra green marbles, but this time she rejected my work, even though I had done a lot, because it didn't meet her expectations. (POSITIVE)
• Miss V adopted the rule I requested, which makes it feel as if she is in control, because I don't see the random marble she draws. (POSITIVE)
• She teased me up till the edge before denying me. This made me hornier and happier (after the initial frustration at the moment) (POSITIVE)

I don't see negative developments today.

New Rule Requested

In the effort to move my relationship to the next level, I have requested the following rule change to Miss V. regarding our orgasm denial game:

Effective immediately, whenever Miss V draws marbles from the container, she will NOT let me know what the resulting color was. Only she will know the color of the marble, and she will not have to tell me until it is time for me to be denied, or allowed to cum. From now on, I will always have to assume that the marble is red, and will only be allowed to cum if she tells me to do so.

Since Miss V is working nights, I was not able to talk to her in person, and today we will mostly see each other in public, I wrote the rule request in a note. When I saw her this morning, I asked her if she got my note, and she said that she did, but when I asked her if she agreed, she said that I'd have to wait to find out, because she didn't have to tell me.

Great.

Now, why did I request the rule change?

1. By not being allowed to see the resulting marble, I placed myself in the position of only receiving instructions to cum or be denied from Miss V herself.
2. I will engage in whatever activity Miss V requests (I'd like to say 'demands' but we are not there yet) not knowing whether I will get release or not. This will enable me to lose myself in her pleasure, and only think of mine when she allows.
3. Having exclusive knowledge of the color of the marble will give Miss V the chance to cheat, which in this case should be a step in the right direction towards the goal of eventually having her be the source of the decision, without any random elements.
4. I will be ordered to cum, which will make me feel more dependent and submissive to Miss V, in addition to being super hot...  

As you can see, I believe that this small rule change, which she readily agreed to (or so it seems, I should say, because she didn't really answered the question) will bring me a step closer to the eventual goal of having my orgasms 100% controlled by Miss V. In addition, it also gives me a taste of the experience, because for all that matters to me, I won't know whether she pulled a marble of the respective color or she made the result up.

A NOTE ON CHEATING:

As mentioned above, cheating is a good outcome in this game, because it will ease Miss V in the role of orgasm decision-maker, but if experience serves for anything, my guess is that she will be more inclined to cheat towards giving me more orgasms than towards less. My plan to deal with this 'problem' is to keep track of my orgasms and if they become too frequent, to mention something casually about being too lucky for my own good, or about the fact that I was hoping for a red marble.

Miss V is a smart gal, and she will get it. The problem, and what brought me to propose the marbles game initially is that she is so sweet and compassionate that she finds it hard to deny me. The idea that this is what I want is in her intellectually, but not emotionally yet.

When that happens, I will need no gimmicks and I may end up getting more than I bargained for.

We will see...

Tied up!

After thinking about it for a long time, Miss V finally tied me up.

When I purchased the strapon dildo kit, I also purchased the under the bed bondage system, in the hopes that I'd be tied up and "used" at some point. That point never arrived until two days ago.

It happened thus:

I was home helping Miss V do some chores. I had asked for chores to do to earn an extra green marble, and she had asked me to do some chores in the house (nothing too involved) and run some errands (a little more involved). As She prepared to leave, I asked her if she would want me tonight. She said that she would, and I asked her if I should clean myself, meaning give myself an enema to be ready for anal penetration by her. She said yes and add a joke about how her answer had been for a different question, of course.

I finished the chores and gave myself the enema (not necessarily in that order) before Miss V came back home. When she did, she immediately proceeded to the bedroom and took her clothes off. I approached her and we made out in the middle of the room.

"Where is my penis?" She asked.

"It's over there," I pointed.

"You should have it ready for me, right here," she said pointing at her crotch. "Hurry up!"

I brought the dildo and gave it to her. As she adjusted the straps to put it on, I asked her if she wanted to tie me up. She agreed, and I pulled the straps from under the mattress.

"So," she asked grabbing the one nearest to her. "How do you use this?"

"Just like the ones in the strapon," I answered, pulling another one in my hand and demonstrating how to adjust the length."

"That's easy," she said and then commented on how soft they were.

"How do you want me?" I asked.

She instructed me to lay face down, sideways on the bed, and after tying and adjusting the straps, I ended up wide open for her. I was feeling a little vulnerable, I admit, but excited, because for the first time, Miss V was giving me the gift of one of my fantasies.

"Okay," she said after checking that the straps were secured. "Bye, I'm going to leave you there."

I thought she was going to leave, and I was wondering how long she was going to be gone when all of a sudden, she smacked my butt cheek with the kitchen spatula. It took me by surprise, and it stung deliciously.

"Remember our conversation yesterday?" She asked smacking my bottom again.

"What conversation?" I asked, not knowing what she had been referring to.

"The one about my spanking skills," another smack. Hard. "What did you tell me about my spankings?"

I wanted to say that I loved them, but another sharp smack made me decide to go for the truth.

"That your spankings are weak," I said truthfully. That's what I had said the day before.

"What?" Miss V emphasized her question with another smack. Harder this time. "I can't hear you."

She made me repeat that her spankings were weak three times, and each time she smacked my bottom real hard. I was loving it, wondering how long it would last, but she broke the spell.

"Was that weak," she asked.

"No," I answered.

"Now what?"

"No Miss," she smacked me for the last time. "Thank you Miss."

Then she put the spatula away and proceeded to penetrate me with her dildo. It was good and bad. The good part was that being tied gave me the freedom to concentrate on enjoying the moment, and that it made Miss V take all the initiative in taking me. I particularly enjoyed one moment when her breathing and mine were on sync, and it sounded like somehow, she was deriving pleasure from the activity.

The not-so-good part was that since I was laying down flat, I could not help with the penetration part and she had a hard time lining things up properly. Also, the lubricant ran out and it became a bit uncomfortable, but I didn't say anything to make sure she didn't stop. There was no damage or anything, just a bit of dryness.

After doing me for a while, she said that her job was done and that now it was my turn. She undid my straps and took her strapon off.

"What color of marble you have?" I must have had a dumb expression on, because she added. "What? you thought that just because I wanted to do you, you would do me for free?"

I gave her the container. It had 6 green and 10 red marbles. She pulled a green one.

"You are a lucky bastard," she said, going down on me for a little while, just enough to get me to maximum hardness. Then she turned around. "Come here baby, do me now!"

We had sex in her favorite position and she had two orgasms.

"Are you done?" I asked.

She said that she was, so I asked if I could come, to which she also said yes. Then I requested that she order me to come for her.

When she did, repeating her command several times, my orgasm obeyed. It was a good one. It felt like I made a large deposit in there.

"I love you," I said after the heat dissipated.

"I love you too, honey" she said hugging me.

And I went to sleep, feeling the most fortunate man in the world.

A Dark Queen, Terrible and Beautiful.

This is the account of the conversation I mentioned int he last post. If you are interested, come go there first and return here afterwards.

As a bit of background, we had just finished giving 3 orgasms to Miss V, while I remained denied. She had told me to get away because she needed to sleep, but I guess she was wound up, because she didn't fall asleep right away.

We were talking about something or other, when she got up from the bed and went to the book shelf we have int he room to look for some reading material. In my state of denial, I could not help it but stare at her slender body as she stretched to grab a book from the top shelf. She turned and saw my predatory eyes on her and stuck her bottom up.

"You like what you see?" She asked. I mumbled a yes. and she smiled wickedly.

I could not help myself. Before I knew what I was doing, I was on the floor, on my knees, hugging her and kissing her waist. She didn't push me away, but held my head in a light embrace with the left hand while she continued searching for a book with her right hand.

"You are powerful," I said.

"I know," she said.

"You are like a queen," I said, encouraged by her words. "You can get me to do whatever you wish, I want to worship you."

I paused, to gauge her reaction. She didn't react negatively, so I went on kissing and biting her warm and soft body.

"I'm an evil queen," she said. "A dark queen, terrible and beautiful."

She was attempting to quote a line from The Lord of the Rings, where the elven queen refuses to take the One Ring from Frodo, telling him that if she took it, she would defeat the Dark Lord, but she would then ascend into darkness herself and she would be worse than their current enemy. She told me that she would have to look up that section of the book so she could memorize the monologue.

"If you are an evil queen," I said. "I am a dark knight and you have my sword to do with it as you would."

She laughed, and caressed my face. I kissed her hand when she got close to my mouth.

"I love you," I said. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, honey," she said. "Come let's go back to bed...

We did.

She fell asleep quickly. Not even reading the book she had selected. For my part, I remained awake for a while, horny, frustrated but deliciously content. 

Five to Zero.

It appears that me mentioning yesterday that not much had happened was the trigger for something to happen right away.

I texted Miss V with a request for extra green marbles. Her reply came back so fast that I have the impression that it was drafted already. She gave me a list of tasks that would not have been extremely hard for me to complete, but for one thing. She didn't want ME doing the chores personally. She wanted me to make sure the kids did them. Oh, please, not the kids!

I understand that she wants them to learn responsibility, but the process of making sure they do what they are supposed to do is a painful one.

Anyway, that was her choice, so there I went, trying to make sure everything on my list got done by the miniature brats that populate our dwelling place. Needless to say, everything took longer and was done at a lower quality than if I would have done it, but I had to make an effort to get things done.

Miss V got how earlier than I thought, and one of the boys had not done the dishes. I told her so and she replied "That's between you and him, if you want it done, see how you make him do it."

I did.

Miss V told me that she needed to take a bath, and that she would come back wearing only her bathrobe.

When she came back, I had locked the door, something I do by habit and she despises. I tried getting up to go open the door for her, but she unlocked it faster than I could reach her.

"Why did you lock me out?" She asked.

"Sorry," I said.

"You have to stop locking me out, you always do it".

"Hey," I said, with a bit of an attitude. "What do you want? I had to change, and the kids may walk in."

She looked at me and asked if I was talking back to her.

"No," I said. "I'm explaining that -"

"You ARE talking back to me... " She walked around the bed, to my side. "You have to learn not to talk back to me, turn around."

"But-"

"Turn. Around."

I turned around and she pulled the blanket that was covering my behind and gave me 5 whacks with the kitchen spatula that was conveniently located on my bed side table since my last spanking. The whacks came with the rhythm of her saying "DON'T-TALK-BACK-TO-ME!"

"Okay," I said. It was not hard, but I loved it.

She walked back to her side of the bed and let the bathrobe drop. I just contemplated her beauty in silent admiration.

"So," she said contorting her body in a sensual manner under the guise of stretching. "What are your plans right now?"

"You want me to tell you?" I asked.

"Let's see what color is your marble first."

I gave her the container. She peeked inside and asked me if I had exchanged marbles, and I said that I had added one for my work out, but didn't add the one for all the chores because they were not completed properly.

"Add another one," she ordered, handing the container back.

"Did you see the kitchen?" I asked.

"No," she said. "But I don't need to. Add another marble."

I obeyed.

She shook the container, and a green marble fell out. She told me that she had not pulled a marble yet and placed it back in the container. She then pulled one out. It was blood red...

"Did you see it?" She asked as she closed her hand over it. I guess she was deciding whether to accept the red bead or not.

"Yes," I said.

"Was I fair?" she asked, showing me the red bead between her index and thumb. "Is this fair?"

"Yes," I said, not entirely sure what she meant. (I'm beginning to think that horniness decreases my communication skills significantly)

"So, what are you going to do?" She asked me.

"Whatever you want, as long as I don't come".

"Yes, baby," she said. "Tonight you ain't getting any."

She pulled me back on the bed and immediately went down on me. Her lips had not been on my member for a while and felt divinely warm and soft.

She gave me head for a while, before getting back up and opening herself up to me.

I made love to her as she wrapped her legs around my back, and I managed to drive her to one or two orgasms. Then I had to stop for a moment, because I had reached the edge.

"Stop having naughty thoughts!" She said slapping my bottom with the spatula. I didn't know she had it within reach so it took me by surprise.

I immediately went back to work and didn't stop until I had reached another edge. This one was closer, and it took me a bit to recover.

"Did you just get yourself in trouble, mister?" she asked. "Do I have to switch all your marbles to red?"

"No," I said truthfully.

"Why does it feel like you just came?" She asked.

"No, I haven't." I said. "Did you?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"How many times?"

"One that I'm sure. Another one that may or may not have been..."

"Let's make sure, then" I said starting to move again.

for some reason she seemed closer to orgasm this time, because it came fast and strong, and then, as she was slowing down, another, weaker one shook her.

"Time's up," she said smiling. "This conversation is over."

"Are you sure now?" I asked.

"Sure of what?"

"Of how many orgasms you had."

She hinted that she had gotten three, but quickly changed her version and said that she had none, and that I owed her big time.

I apologized and told her that I would try my best tomorrow [today].

"You better..." she said, squeezing my nipples. "Now get off me. I'm going to sleep."

I did, but she didn't fall asleep quite that fast. We had a conversation about out relationship that I will post at another time, because this post is already long.

In summary, the score was 3 for Miss V, for a consecutive run of 5 since Thanksgiving, and zero for V's boy.

I'm loving it!

Submissive = Lazy and Demanding?

I saw this comic recently that made me think.

 

From what I can gather around the web, it seems that in many cases, the critique doesn't fall too far from reality. For the most part this does not apply to the blog writers, because the mere fact that they take the time to do something like write a blog indicate that they are not lazy (demanding, maybe), but some of the people that comment in some of them blogs... aww man! Totally accurate!

Ms. Rika referred to these "submissives" as just wanting to get off, and not real submissives, and sometimes I'm like that. Right now I finished all the tasks that Miss V texted me that I should do if I want a green marble (yes, we are still playing the game, and I'm loving it), but all I can think off is being tied up, spanked and/or fucked. Yes, I know... I totally deserve to be punished for it.

As far as other news from around here, here is a summary:

•  As mentioned above, we are still playing the game. After 7 days of not having sex, I got a free-pass for an orgasm on Thanksgiving.
• Miss V only gives me extra marble earning tasks if I ask for them. She wants me to ask for the opportunity to serve her, which works for me. The other day I told her that I was short on green marbles and she said "I know, but you can always text me to ask for chores, you know?" So that's how it is now. I have to ask to serve. I think she figured that since I'm asking, that means I'm in the mood. This wife of mine is a smart cookie.
• I talked to her of the difference of being "denied" vs "not having sex" I explained that if she doesn't make me please her, or brings me to the edge, it is not really denial, but just not having sex, which is not a turn on.
• Yesterday, she made me beg her to have sex with me, even though she pulled a red marble, and then she consented, had two orgasms and then told me to go to sleep. It was great.
• For the most part, I have not seen Miss V for several days, because she is working late.

And that's that. Nothing earth-shattering around here. I think we are on a plateau of progress, but at lest we are not regressing. I have to be patient and continue with the plan, because so far, it's been working.

Oh, and the comic above can be found at http://oglaf.com/submission/1/

Thanks for reading.

I have a bad feeling about this...

Today is day 8 of denial for me. Sadly, there has not been much in the teasing department since V is very tired from work.

This is the time when my brain begins to play tricks on me and I start having uncontrolled feelings of being unloved, unappreciated and undesired. This has happened before, and I know that the feelings are unfounded, but I still get them anyway. The trick is not to let them come out, because they are frustrating and confusing to Miss V, who wants to please me, but gets the mixed signal of my negative feelings.

Last night, after earning two green marbles, one for working out and another for doing the list of chores that V texted me, she came home and told me that yet again, she was too tired for sex. She must have seen or perceived my frustration, because she added:

"Let's see what color of marble you get, if it's green, I'll let you do stuff, but if it's green, you will go to sleep."

The marble came out red. She laughed, stuck her tongue at me and wished me a good night, but as she was closing her eyes, she added something troubling.

"It looks like you are never going to have sex again."

When she said that, I got an almost immediate erection, which I tried to hide because it could give the wrong idea. Of course I don't want to be permanently denied! I'm having a hard time with the 8 days I'm in right now. The reason for the erection, is that Miss V used her erotic power. I would have gotten an erection all the same if she would have said "Kneel right here and lick my pussy, biatch" and it would have been a much more agreeable use of her power, but even though her threat was not for something good, the fact that she knew she could make it, made me feel her power.
Anyway, enough trying to rationalize the erection. The facts are that she threatened me with permanent denial and I got an erection. Everything else is speculation on my part.

So, she noticed my erection anyway and grabbed it, but only with her fingertips.

"Aww, look how cute you are!" she said giving it a little shake. "Look how cute!"

Then, my beautiful, lovely wife pulled me towards her so we were facing each other, placed my penis between her knees and fell asleep. I dripped a lot of pre-cum on her legs, and stayed there, enjoying this little gift until I became soft and my penis slipped back out of her wet, slippery legs.

Oh, I'm so horny right now!

Hard Deals and Back to 1

This week, Miss V began a new practice. She would text me during the day to say something like: "Earn an extra green marble by:" followed by a list of chores that she wants me to do. The list has been long, which was to be expected when she told me that the extra marbles would be hard to get, and some days I could not manage to complete them.

On Monday, I did all the chores, but had no time for working out, so when she texted me on Tuesday, she said that the extra marble would only be obtained if I got the first one (working out).

By Tuesday night, I had three green marbles, one from Monday and two from Tuesday, and when she drew, a green one came out. That was unusual because 3 marbles represent only an 18% probability, so on Tuesday I had release. This has been my last. Miss V had no interest in anything from Wednesday to Saturday, and the couple of times I approached her, she said "I'm fine, thank you."

Saturday night, she decided to pull a marble again, and this time it came red. I had a 42% chance of getting a green one, but that was not to be.

I asked her what she wanted me to do with the red marble and she said that I'd have to massage her feet and legs, because they were really tired. I completed a very long massage, in which she was very pleased. Then she told me that she was grateful and that she was about to go to sleep.

"Okay," I said resigned, but she began to laugh and pulled my head with her leg towards her crotch, allowing me to kiss her briefly.

"Come over here, boy," she said. "I'm not done with you yet."

So I climbed over her and made love to her until she told me to stop and go to sleep.

I obediently did as I was told, and remained sexually frustrated.

Yesterday was Sunday, and according to the rules of the game, I have to remove 5 green marbles from the container and replace them with red ones, so now I have only one green marble left.

I believe I forgot to mention that I chickened out and begged for a change in the rule that every Sunday Miss V was going to remove 7 marbles from the container, so she was generous and changed it to 5.

I have started to feel the effects of Miss V coming to enjoy her position of power and they are a bit scary. Her "deals" have been very hard, almost impossible, and I have not been able to take advantage of them every day. I have to accept whatever she offers, though, because this is the manner in which she has chosen to exercise her dominance.

One of the days this week when I earned the two green marbles, I think that was Thursday, Miss V cam home and found all those chores done and told me that she loved the way she could get me to do anything she wanted.

"You have no idea," I said, and she chuckled.

I think she does...

A Very Bad (good) Deal

This post continues right where the previous one left off, on last Saturday's afternoon.

So there I was, waiting all afternoon. I gave myself an enema and was all ready for Miss V. The level of horniness was very high, and I could barely resist the urge of taking matters into my own hands, to use the common expression, but the thought of possibly experiencing an orgasm solely from anal stimulation kept me away from temptation.

Miss V arrived late, as usual, and told me right away that she was too tired to do anything (bummer...) and that I should be ready tomorrow (Sunday). We had another commitment Sunday morning, so I knew this didn't mean the morning and that I would have to clean myself again. I don't know if taking enemas in three consecutive days is healthy, but that was exactly what I was going to have to do, and the one from Saturday had not been very pleasant and had given me some cramps. Any tips on this would be appreciated. Please note that I have to self administer the enemas, because Miss V doesn't want top be involved, so being "tortured" by the process is not in the least stimulating.

Anyway, the next day went as usual as we went through our respective commitments. I think it was about 2:00 in the afternoon when I took the enema and cleansed myself. This time it didn't hurt, but I had a hard time keeping it in place. Maybe I lubricated it too much, I think, but I did so because the enemas dry my anus up and I was trying to keep it hydrated.

Miss V came home and worked on something else while I waited, patiently, not pestering her, for her signal. It didn't come until nightfall, when she went to the bedroom.

The first thing she did when I walked into the room was to ask for my marbles, which I immediately gave to her. I had 8 green and 8 red ones, so 50% probability. I really wanted a green one to come up, because I was super-horny, but when she pulled it out, it was red.

I was kind of frustrated because I had been waiting so long, but I managed to sigh, smile and ask Miss V what she wanted to do.

"I'm going to do stuff to you," she said, to my great relief and gratitude. "But you are not allowed to enjoy them. If you show the smallest degree of enjoyment, I will stop."

I felt a tug in my underwear at those words, but I kept my straight face and agreed to her terms.

"I want you to be very unhappy," she added.

I saw this as an opening for me and I suggested that I was more than willing to resist, if she wanted and to make her tie me up, but that I was concerned that if I showed displeasure, she would stop to ask me if I was okay, and that would ruin the effect.

"I do that, eh?" she said smiling. "I know, I'd like to make you cry, but if you did, I'd wonder if I was doing it wrong and would have to stop and ask."

"Look," I said, almost panting in anticipation as she put her strapon on and adjusted it into place. "Let's do this. If I really need you to stop I'll say "Rumpelstinkin". If I don't say it, you can ignore whatever else I say and keep going.

She liked the idea.

"Take off your clothes and come here," she said pointing at the side of the bed. "Now!"

I dropped my clothes off as fast as I could, but it was not fast enough, because she pulled me over and gave me a few swats with the kitchen spatula. One of them came the wrong was and hurt more than usual, but no way I was going to say Rumpelstinkin, so I just took it.

Then she laid back in bed and presented her dildo up.

"Here," she said, handing me the bottle of lubricant. "Do your job".

I lubricated her shaft, feeling a little awkward as she laughed at me.

"Is this okay?" I asked after every inch was glossy with the slippery stuff.

"I don't know," she said. "That's your problem."

So I put a bit more.

After that, she made me bend over the side of the bed, in the same position she has taken me before, but this time, instead of going straight for the sex, she gave me a spanking. It wasn't a super hard spanking, since she is not ready for that yet, but she didn't stop to ask me if I was all right and that allowed me to get a bit into what I think others refer to as sub-space.

I think I was there, or getting there, because when she placed the head of her dildo against my ass, I was startled and surprised, as if I had forgotten what I had been waiting all day for.

She did me from behind longer and harder than she has ever done. She also pulled herself over me to stare at my face and threatened me with stopping if I was enjoying, but I kept squirming and saying no every time she asked me if I wanted what she was doing to me. She also smacked me on the thighs and bottom as she did.

Then she said that she was tired and that my time was up.

I begged for more, and she consented to let me ride her dildo. I lubricated it again as she laid back and in no time I had placed two pillow under her hips and was on top of her, getting the full length inside me. We did this for a while, and twice I almost felt that an orgasm was near, but it faded. Then she said that it was time for me to stop, because I looked like I was enjoying it and I was not supposed to.

This time I almost cried, and it was for real.

"Please," I begged. "Please let me cum!"

She said that I could not and that maybe next time.

"I'll pay!" I said, not really knowing what I was getting into. "Please! I'll give up all my green marbles if you let  me cum!"

"Really?" she asked, laughing. "You are willing to give up all your marbles for one orgasm?"

"Yes!" I yelled as she continued laughing and pumping her dildo up my ass. "Yes, please!"

She pondered for a long second and then said "okay".

She grabbed my penis with her left hand, and it drove me crazy with lust and desire.

"Oh, look," she said. "This must be the best of both worlds."

I said yes.

"You can come now," she said sweetly, as I went further and further into ecstasy.

"I want you to make me," I said in what must have sounded like a ridiculous moan.

"Come now, baby!" She said and smacked my behind with the spatula.

She noticed my strong reaction and kept on telling me to come and spanking me until I exploded all over her belly and chest in one of the most powerful orgasms that I've ever had.

"What have I done?" I asked after the tremors of orgasm subsided. "What possessed me to make this deal?"

Miss V laughed again, asked me to get out and to get her something to clean herself.

After I showered and washed the dildo I came back into the room, and she was there in all her beautiful glory, looking at me in her loving way.

"Change the marbles, baby," she said. "I want to see them all red."

"I can't believe I did this," I said as the red marbles, all 16 of them clinked into the container. "You know the last time I had 16 red marbles it took me 11 days to pull a green one?"

"Ouch," she said.



Sometimes, not always, but sometimes...

"I'm going to offer you a deal," she continued as I laid in bed next to her. "I will give you a list of things to do for extra marbles."

My ears perked at that, because it is an extension of what she has been doing into other areas.

"It won't be easy," she explained. "But you will have the opportunity to accelerate your green marbles. Do you want to do this?"

"Yes," I said promptly.

So after Sunday, this is how the deal stood:

1. I began the week with 16 red marbles, having used the 8 green ones to pay for one orgasm. 
2. Miss V is going to offer extra green marbles for performing other acts of service to her.

Several days have passed and I have seen what the offered deals have been, but this will have to be the subject of another post. for now, I will say that I have mixed feelings about the deal, which can be summarized as follows:

1. Afraid that I will be denied more because of the 16 red marbles.
2. Excited that I will be denied more for the same reason
3. Surprised that Miss V is extending the game beyond me working out
4. Concerned about what acts of service Miss V will demand
5. Happy to see Miss V growing in her confidence and dominance.

So, in the end, I can honestly say that the horrible deal I begged for turned out to be pretty darned good, don't you think?

Teased and Waiting...

After a week of almost no contact, Saturday morning was here, and with it all the horniness of many days of unspent sexual energy. We cuddled in bed for a while, talking of inconsequential matters until Miss V asked for the marbles.

"Let me see what color you get today," she said and proceeded to pull a red marble of the container. "You have bad luck." She said, grabbing my member under the sheets and starting to stroke. "But that's all right, because I'm red too."

I groaned inwardly. The thought that she is unavailable after all these days of wait made me feel as if the world had turned against me, but I made an effort to continue being pleasant, because Miss V is not at fault if the world has a personal vendetta against me, is she? No, it is not easy to keep your perspective and realize that the universe doesn't revolve around your needs when all you are thinking about is sex, but you can always try.



One day, my friends... one day

The warm, soft body against yours and the slow but deliciously evil stroking didn't help, but oh, boy! Were they good!

"What were you planning to do if the marble was green?" I asked.

"I would have screwed you," she said promptly. "But you know what? Maybe I will still screw you later, except that you will not be allowed to cum."

If you have been reading this, you know I have yet to have an orgasm solely from anal stimulation, but every time I've been screwed, it has been on a green marble day, so I have been able to turn the tables on Miss V and finish inside her. I cannot help but wonder how I will feel when this changes.

After that, she ordered me to kiss her breasts, which I did with enthusiasm, and then to bite her neck. As I moved to switch from breasts to neck, she interrupted me.

"Finish one thing before starting the next," she said, and I spent a few more delicious minutes roaming around her chest.

I told her how much I loved to imagine she was forcing me to do such things, to which she said that she was making me do them. I thank her and explained that the reason I got to aroused by her spanking while I kissed her feet was because in my fantasy, she was forcing me to do it. She laughed and told me that the reason I did it was because she made me. I could not tell if she was playing along or she really felt that she had forced me into it. Anyway, it was my first try at the approach I described in my last post HERE.

She told me I had to make her breakfast, and specified what I needed to make her, then said that if I wanted to spent more time with her, I would drive her to her work, because otherwise she would have to leave me earlier so she could catch the bus. Making her breakfast and taking her to work were two vanilla activities, but the way she used me to accomplish them, and the way she assumed that being with her was benefit enough for me to desire to drive her to work, made me feel very submissive.

I accepted eagerly and she said again that she is going to screw me when she comes back. She added this time that if I work out before she comes back, since this is a different day, she may pick a marble again.

So here I am, teased, with many days of denial under my belt (literally, although I'm wearing no belt) and waiting for my princess to come home and take me from behind with her purple dildo...

Waiting...

Vanilla Submission

Looking past into earlier posts on this blog reminds me how frustrated I was, how little progress I had and how many needs and cravings I was not having satisfied because I did not have the nerve to come clean and confess to Miss V.

Looking at more recent entries, I'm amazed at the progress we have made. From not being able to even talk about these things, to being taken from behind with the strapon. From not being able to serve to being ordered to do so, and without reward. Much of the progress has been so sudden that I have found it hard to explain, however, I found this blog HERE, where they talk about Vanilla Dominants (and if you remember my early posts, you know my wife is Vanilla) and how to better encourage them to become dominant. One of the common themes throughout the blog is that one has to create a safe space (a firewall, he calls it sometimes) around the kinky space, so the Vanilla partner doesn't feel threatened by the changes in the relationship. In reading this blog, I came to realize that I had been applying some of its principles without even knowing it, and that gives some explanation to my success.

• I have given permission to V to be "bad" in a safe environment (no consequences)
• I stopped being subservient in daily life and confessed to my desire of sexual domination
• I provided an excuse for V to deny me without feeling responsible (the marbles game)
• I have pleased her in any way she has requested, even if her requests are mostly vanilla

I could go on, but I think that you better go read his blog for yourself. You can find it by clicking on its tile here: How do I get my partner to dominate me?

Now before you go thinking that I have all this figured out, here is a gold nugget I found there about the need to "negotiate" instead of trying stealth submission and I am going to try with Miss V.

QUOTE:

Humans are most comfortable with like-for-like. 'Fessing up that bringing your lover a cup of coffee gets you wet or hard... well that might be a little creepy or freaky. And, since D&S looks erotic to an outsider, it's probably a bad idea to rush to reveal any kind of submissive pleasure from any non-sexual act.

Instead, when you're doing something obviously one-sided in bed, share what's in your mind.

For example; "Giving you head turns me on because I'm pretending I'm your slave."

Then, depending on their reaction, float the idea. Don't make a big thing of it, and don't be apologetic either. All you’re asking for is a spice. "Next time I'm going to wear a slave collar."

Then follow through and actually produce—in this example—the collar.

From then on, refuse to perform the submissive act without that collar. At the same time offer your slave whenever appropriate, and make it clear that the slave is available on demand.

Isn't this negotiation?

Yes, it is—technically—negotiation. However, it's not about demanding particular scenes or actions. It's about bringing what's already there to the surface where you can both see it, and about making a distinction between your everyday self and your slave self.

It's not unreasonable to say "I will happily be your slave if you will treat me as one."

It's also—possibly—permission for your partner

We subs forget that taking the dominant role requires playing at being evil. This is especially true for service-orientated. (If the dominant partner is mostly topping, then they are fairly obviously giving pleasure to their sub.)

This means that very vanilla people with dominant leanings will rarely admit how much kinky pleasure they get from your submission.

Who knows? Perhaps when you're giving your partner oral service, he or she is privately imagining you are wearing a steel collar and can shortly be dismissed back to your cage. There's only one way to find out...
 
END QUOTE.

There you have it.

So here is my next goal:

In a calm, relaxed manner, when the time seems appropriate, and when Miss V is in a sexy mood, I will confess that the reason her spanking me or pegging me makes me so horny is that I like to imagine that she is forcing me to do it. I will repeat to her my assertion that I love to serve her and Love it when she uses her erotic power to control me for the same reasons and will ask her to treat me as if she was forcing me to serve her.

Okay, just writing that paragraph game me an erection.

Aren't we just plain weird?

Failures, Lessons and Denial Part 2

NOTE: This post continues the previous post. If you have not read that one, click HERE.

The same day I had my orgasm last week, I failed again. I have no idea why. I just started playing with what should by right be Miss V's toy and before I knew it, bam! I did not expect that it would happen as quickly as it did, because I had just had an orgasm, but somehow it happened.

I believe I have mentioned here that I have been edging every once in a while, but so far, I have mostly avoided getting past the point of no return. I know it was an accident and accidents happen, especially when you walk too close to the cliff, but it still makes me feel miserable. I went back to the bedroom, where V was, with the intention of telling her that I had failed but when I saw her face and she smiled at me, I just couldn't. At that moment I felt small and undeserving of someone such as her, and once again, renewed my purpose of serving and honoring her.

I wonder what would happen if I were to ask her to put me in a device, but I think I have given her enough for now to last a long time and I don;t want to go to far too quick. Besides, I don't know what I'd do if she decides that I need to be denied longer than I find bearable.

After this day, three days passed in which I was not exactly denied, but basically didn't have any contact whatsoever with Miss V. Right now, she is involved in a special project that keeps her away from home late and will last until the end of November, so I'm not seeing much of her during the week.

On Wednesday, she texted me several times while I was at work and told me through her various messages that she missed me, really missed me, and that I needed to make sure I worked out, because she wanted to play a marble that night. She also suggested that I may want to take a nap because she was going to be later than usual.

I did as I was told in terms of working out, although I had no time for a nap before she came home. When she came, she went directly for bed and pulled a marble. It was RED, which I found surprising because I had many more GREEN ones. Seeing the RED marble made me feel a bit of fear, because if I don't get together with Miss V that often, who knows when I will be able to have another orgasm without cheating.

For the RED marble, V asked me to give her a foot massage. I prepared the lotion, and knelt on the bed next to her to massage her feet. As I had hoped, V took the kitchen spatula and smacked my bottom a couple times with it, ordering me to massage her right, but she didn't want to spank me because she was tired.

After the massage, I turned around with the intention of pleasuring her, but she had other plans.

"Now," she said. "I'm going to turn around and sleep. Good night."

And that was that.

The next day, I waited for her again, and when she went to bed, I more or less gave her the marbles, and by that I mean that as we talked about the long day we had, I grabbed the container and placed it in her hand, even though she had not asked for it. She didn't seem to care and we continued our conversation for a while before she shook the container and opened it, pulling a marble from it.

RED again.

This time, she wanted me to take her from behind, in spooning position, with zero foreplay. I did, but soon after  we started, I felt an orgasm building up and V pulled out, leaving me panting.

"I know what you want," she said. "Bad boy!"

I calmed down and asked her if she wanted to continue and she said that my marble had been red and I would not be getting any. She added that I owed her big time, but so far nothing has happened.

I could not help but wonder why I was about to have an orgasm so fast, both when I masturbated and when I was making love to V. I am used to last long enough for V to have two or three orgasms before I either have mine, or have to pull out. I hope this is not a new trend.

So, there you have it. by using V's Toy and by not being able to give her an orgasm when she requested one, I can add two more failures to the list.

And I am still being denied.

Failures, Lessons and Denial, part 1

I have been in denial for a week now, and have failed in several ways. This is the first.
Lat week, V called me to the bedroom and asked me to give her the marbles container. I happily did, as I knew I had worked hard to get many green marbles there. She pulled one out. It was green.

"Lucky" she said, a little put down. I think she wanted to deny me. "Take your clothes off".

I obeyed in taking my clothes off, and I asked her who would be doing who, in the hope that she would decide to do me first. She asked for her strapon dildo and I brought it to her.

"Put it on," she said. "This time you are going to use it."

A myriad questions flooded my mind. Was I going to do her with the strapon? What if she liked it more than the real thing? Would she consider me "done" after she got her orgasm(s)? Would this become a new norm? Did I want our relationship to evolve this way? What to do?

Of course, I would obey V as long as she's willing to command, so after fumbling with the straps quite a bit (funny, she makes it look easy when she does it) I finally got it in place. By that time, the combination of fear and the effort of strapping the thing had made me lose the erection, so the strapon front panel covered my penis completely.

"Now, come over here," she ordered and I stood in front of her. "Where is your thing?" she asked, seeing how the strapon looked too comfortable to have a bulging erection underneath.

"It's here, I assure you."

She looked at my shiny new member closely and then said "No, I don't think I want that think inside me. Take it off."

As I did, she took it off my hands and quickly (and easily) put it on.

"Come on," she said showing me her 'erection' and handing me the lubricant. "It is your job to get it ready."

I knelt in front of her and couldn't resist the urge to kiss her dildo. She didn't back down but she said that it didn't do anything for her, so I quickly resumed my duties of lubricating the weapon that was soon to be used against me, although deliciously.

"How do you want me?" I asked standing up. She pulled me and pushed me against the bed, in the same position she had started before and began pounding on my behind. It hurt a little because there was no preparation and my anus was resistant, but I said nothing. The last thing I want is to make her worry and stop. Soon enough the lubricant was doing its job and I was taking it like a champ.

This time, she didn't slow down and I came close to orgasm, but my legs became too tired to continue and the imminent orgasm faded away. She noticed that I was tired and asked me if I wanted to stop.

"Can we change positions?" I asked.

She accepted and I climbed up to the bed and placed myself in all fours. I expected that she would climb after me and continue the operation, but she didn't. I turned to look at her and saw her disgusted expression. The dildo was dirty with fecal matter.

"I'm a little disgusted right now," she said, looking in a different direction. I felt so ashamed that I told her not to move, and I took care of everything as I apologized multiple times. I placed a pair of dirty shorts over the dildo so she would not see it, and took the whole thing away, fully expecting that she would be upset at me.

"From now on," she said as I cringed, fully expecting to hear that she would never do me again. "Any time that you want me to use that thing (she pointed at the covered dildo in my hands) you will need to use that thing (she points towards my drawer) first."

She was referring to the enema kit that I had used prior to our previous engagements. It is not in my drawer, but that doesn't matter. What little joy I could feel was in knowing that there would be more to come for me.

"Take care of that later," she said laying face up on the bed. "Now come give me the real thing".

I made love to her until I had an orgasm, which has been my last to date. After that, she pushed me away and told me to go wash the things and take a shower.

And such was my first failure. The lesson I learned from this is that I should have been aware that I had not cleansed myself and should have asked for permission to go do it, or resign myself to not enjoy the activity. In short: BE CLEAN. 

Another failure coming soon...

Not Much to Say...

Everything has continued as described in the past few posts, so I have not deemed it necessary to post.

Denial has become more common, and teasing is intermittent, as in sometimes I get a lot and sometimes none. Obviously, when not teased, I get depressed, and when teased, I get excited. Nothing new there.

No new spankings have happened, although I was offered one the other day.

I have been taken from behind with the strapon dildo several times now, and V seems to enjoy it a lot. The last time she was sounding as if she was getting some pleasure from it, but I can't be sure.

Well, I have lost some more weigh now, and reached the lower weigh I had just before my injure. I still need to lose plenty more, and with treatment making me better, I hope I will be able to do more effective workouts.

I will post again soon.

Thus I lost my virginity

In my last post I mentioned that V's strap-on had arrived and that she had told me that last night would be the night when she would take me with it. This is the account of how it happened.

The day passed slowly, because I was waiting, expectant. V had to go out and had asked me to prepare dinner for her before she came home. I tried, I really tried, but there were technical difficulties, so I could not finish the job. As soon as I realized that dinner could not be ready as I had been told, I texted V and told her. She understood, and told me that she would take care of the problem when she returned.

She came and brought what I needed, and asked me to fix the partially made dinner while she did other things with the girls. I did.

After dinner was served and mostly eaten, V approached me and told me that in her experience, that things I was about to do would take about half an hour. I didn't know what she was referring to, so I asked. She was talking about the enema she knew I was going to have, so I explained that I had already done it. She seemed a little put back by this, so I asked her if she wanted to be involved, but she reiterated her previous "no way!"

After all things were done, she told me that she was going to the room and that I should follow.

Once there, she proceeded to take her clothes off, but kept a pair of boy-short panties on.

"What are you looking at?" V asked.

"You are so beautiful," I said, in all honesty. I think she is the most beautiful creature alive.

"I saw the way you were looking at me," she said. "I know you are wanting me, my mother warned me about men like you!"

"What did she say?" I asked, following along.

"That I should make then do my bidding," she said. I felt a little tug on my crotch as she said that.

"What would you have me do, Miss?"

"Bend over."

I walked around the bed and gave her the strap-on, which was hidden in my drawer per her instructions and she put it on while standing in front of the mirror. Seeing her adjusting the straps and knowing what was to come made me weak in the knees.

After the strap-on was properly adjusted, she turned around to face me.

"Do I look fat?" V asked.

"No!" I said quickly.

"Good answer," she said approaching me. "Take your clothes off."

I did. My hands were shaking.

She approached me and kissed me, rubbing her silicone dildo against my hard on.

"I don't know what to do," she said. "I'm nervous."

"I'm nervous too," I said. "But it should be okay."

"Are we going to lubricate it or something?" She asked.

I gave her the lubricant and she placed two drops on the tip, then rubbed it into the shaft.

"I should have made YOU do this," she said, her hand moving up and down her shaft in a masturbatory fashion. "This should be your job."

"I'm just going to lay face up and let you ride it," she said pulling me towards the bed, but as I approached, she pulled me past her and pushed me against the bed.

"Bend over," she said.

I obediently did and she pressed herself against me, holding me in place.

"Is it here?" she asked twice, making adjustments until the third time, I felt the head of her dildo pressing into my outer sphincter.

"Are you okay?" She asked when the dildo suddenly went a little into me.

"Yes," I said. "I'm fine."

She kept pushing and pulling little by little, asking me with each and every thrust if I was doing fine. I reassured her that I was fine and that I would let her know if I had any problem.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm killing the mood. I will stop asking questions."

The dildo was further in, three-quarters or so, by my estimate (I could not see it, so I may be wrong) when she asked me another question.

"How deep should I go?"

"Go all the way, honey." I said.

After that, she didn't ask anything else. She began to push harder, until I had taken the whole length of the dildo in. Then she began to pump in and out while scratching my back and keeping me firmly pressed against the bed.

"This is sexy!" She said as I moaned in pleasure and moved my hips back and forth to get more of her dildo inside.

I got tired relatively fast, because I was standing on my tip-toes, so I asked her if we could climb on the bed. We did and she took me from behind again, doggie style.

This time, she went straight for my anus, finding it easy and went all the way inside in her first attempt. I guess that me being on all fours probably gave her a better view of her target. She used her hand to go around and stroke my penis. After doing this for a bit, I felt that I was about to come and asked her if she could stop using the hand, because I wanted to see if I could have an orgasm from the anal action alone. She agreed, and continued pumping my ass until she got tired.

I then told her that I could ride her, as she had suggested earlier, and she went face up. On this position, I had a hard time getting the dildo straight into my anus, and it came out twice. It also didn't penetrate far enough, probably because the bed is too soft and we kind of sink into it. I think that in order for this to work, a pillow needs to be placed under her hips.

The other problem with me riding her, is that I'm larger and it feels very awkward for me to basically fuck myself that close to her face. She didn't seem to mind, though and bit on my nipples while we did it. Again, if the dildo was going in deeper and not coming out, I think I may have had an orgasm on this position.

We went back to the first position, this time at V's request. She told me that it was the easiest for her and she fucked me until she got tired, at which point she pulled back and told me that she was done for the night.

"Turn around," I said breathlessly.

This time it was her turn to misunderstand, so I clarified.

"Turn around and take this off" I said, helping her take the strap-on off.

Then I grabbed her and pushed her against the bed, in the same position she had been fucking me.

"Oh no," she said. "You are not going to enter my ass!"

I was already going into her vagina, so she stopped arguing.

"Oh, baby," she moaned. "You are so much better at this than me!"

"I've had some practice," I said.

I apologized in advance because I knew I was close to orgasm, but she said that she was close too and actually managed to have hers just before I had mine.

All in all, it was a beautiful experience. We had a discussion afterwards and the following points came up.

ME:

• I loved it.
• It was cleaner than I expected, probably because of the earlier enema.
• I felt grateful
• She crossed a line that no woman had crossed before (with me).

HER

• She loved it.
• It was easier that she expected. The strap-on held surprisingly well.
• It was better than she expected because she thought I'd come right away, but I didn't and she got hers as well.
• This is like having the best of both worlds.
• Next time she will go open crotch.
• She wants a dildo that is actually bigger than my penis (uh-oh!)

And this is the tale of how I lost my virginity.

Nervous as a teenage girl...

My order is here. It seemed an eternity as I waited and waited for it to arrive, but faithful to its promise, the UPS guy came here yesterday afternoon and dropped off my package, or should I say V's package?

We opened the box last night, even though V warned me that we could not do anything with it because we had a previous engagement. When I saw the CURVE, my first impression was that it was larger than I expected. However, after taking it out of the box and placing it in the harness, I realized that it was not as large as I feared.

"Mine is prettier than yours," V said, mockingly. True in my opinion, as I don't particularly like penises.

V tried it on and checked herself in the mirror.

"Wow," she said. "Now I know how guys feel."

I had to ask.

"Well, now I feel different, because instead of being penetrated, it will be me doing the penetration. How do you feel about that?"

"A little nervous," I said truthfully.

She laughed and said that our roles have reversed completely.

She got close and started to rub her toy against me. I got a full erection in no time.

"Take it out," she said, pointing to my crotch. I obeyed. "Oh, yours is still bigger, thicker."

She placed them side by side and played with both, commenting on how the silicon one felt just like mine and how firmly in place the harness remained as she moved around. I hope it behaves the same way as we put it to real use.

"This is an adventure," she said. "But we can't do it tonight (I knew already) I will take you tomorrow."

She took it off and gave it to  me for safekeeping.

"Are you a virgin?" She asked suddenly.

"Yeah," I said.

She teased me that she was going to be my first, but that I should not be afraid because she was going to be nice and gentle with me. Then she told me that she was not an anal virgin and asked me if I found that disappointing.

"No," I said. I knew she wasn't because early in our marriage I entered her anally several times. According to conversations we had since then, she only allowed me to do it because she wanted to experiment, but she didn't like it and that's the reason I never again got tickets to the back door. Although I don;t know for sure, I think I was her first anal partner. Now she is going to be mine.

After that, we left on our errands.

This morning, while still in bed, I was kissing and rubbing her back and I told her I wanted her.

"I know," she said. "You can wait, and today you can't want me, because today I want you."

"Huh?" I'm such an idiot when my blood goes down there...

"I'm going to be the one doing the screwing tonight."

After that, she asked me to make her breakfast in bed and gave me a shopping list. She said she was going to be busy, and that tonight she would have "relaxing sex".

I gave myself an enema, to be ready for her. I read somewhere that you should do it several hours before intercourse, so you are not leaking water in the moment of truth, so I did it before noon. I used warm water and did it three times.  V knew I was going to do it (the enema kit came with her strapon) and agreed to it s long as she doesn't have to be involved. This means that she will not be giving me any enemas, something that would have been very erotic, but I can live without. Then again, she might change her mind later...

Now I'm home alone, super ready for her, but she will not be home until later. She asked me to have dinner ready by the time she comes back, and I am not planning to disappoint her, so I will stop this post right now.

If everything goes according to plan, I'll describe the loss of my virginity as soon as possible.

I'm as nervous as a teenage girl right now...

Another (way better) Spanking

I should have posted this yesterday, but had no time, so here it is. There is another post that should be written today, so if I have time, I will double post today.

I received a better spanking this time.

I had left some clothes out of place (very few, mind you) and V came over to my side of the bed and pointed at them.

"What is this?" She asked in the severe tone I have come to associate with good things to come.

I started to pick the clothes up to place them in their proper place when she asked me if I knew what the maid would do if she found out that I was making a mess in "her house". (See the past few posts to see who the "maid" is)

"I don't know," I said meekly. I wanted to say that she would tie me up face down on my bed and give me a spanking that would last me a week, but I said nothing.

"She's going to be mad," she said. "Very mad, and you are not going to like it."

I placed the clothes in the hamper and V called me to her side. She asked me to do something, which I have to confess, because of what came after, I don't even remember, but she made me agree to it.

What I remember is what she did to make me say yes. She took the kitchen spatula that she used to spank me the last time and started to ask me questions. Every "yes" answer earned me a hard slap on the bottom. Every "no" only earned me a soft caress. In the end, she told me that I had to agree is I knew what was good for me, and I did.

After I agreed, she called me "good boy" and told me to get naked and give her a foot massage. As I began to lower myself to my knees, she ordered me to stop and indicated that I should do it in reverse position and with my ass up. She proceeded to lay back as I knelt beside her with my naked behind in her direction, sticking up.

As I worshiped her feet, with massage and kisses, she inflicted quite some pain on my behind. Every time I slowed down on my attentions to her feet, she stopped spanking me.

"You stop, I stop," She said, which drove me crazy and I started licking and kissing her feet with more intensity, as she returned the "favor" on my burning behind.

"Keep that butt up!" She said whenever I faltered, emphasizing her words with a quick slap. "This will be a work out for you."

This time she didn't show mercy. This time she went hard on my bottom and I felt the burning even the morning after, even though I could not see any markings. I can't feel it anymore, and there is not redness, so even though it burned as it hit, it was nothing compared to what some others around here are getting.

It was still amazing, though. Really nice, and made me feel really grateful. Being down there at her feet, being free to express my love to her via foot worship while she spanked my ass red made me feel her power and control in a way that I could not even imagine just a few months (no, weeks) ago.

She just came into the room, pulled my chair back, making me stare at her upside down face.

"You are going to do the dishes," she said matter-of-factly. "And you are going to do them as soon as we finish eating, or I won't be doing any cooking tonight, Got it?"

"Yes, you get it." She said before I had time to answer.

So I left this post unfinished, walked to the kitchen, wore her apron, which is probably going to be mine pretty soon (no need to rush things now, right?), and did all the dishes.

Good times.

Patience...

I was not able to submit the order for my strapon (V's strapon, to be technically correct) because there were no funds on my bank account and my other credit card was at the limit (until today).

Bad Economy anyone?

So, I finally managed to submit the order today, and now have to wait until it arrives. This is where patience is needed, because just thinking about my Princess taking me from behind makes my knees jiggle, but I have been too excited as of late and need to take it a little easier.

This morning, after drawing a RED marble and giving V an unreturned orgasm, she told me that I had to do something with my day.

"We are having a lot of fun lately with all the sex," she said. "But you need to do something else. You can't be thinking about sex all day long. The whole idea of this was to make you more productive."

You see? All I planned to do today was to wash the dishes and do the laundry, both things that V asked me to do, but she wants me to do other things, like work on my own projects. I think I have been smothering her with my "needy" behavior.

I'm glad she understands that orgasm denial makes me more productive (or that it's supposed to) but I need to be careful no to wear out my success and her fun by being too overwhelming or overbearing.

For the rest of the day, I have been engaged in other activities (did the dishes too, of course) and even though it is first and foremost in my mind, I have not mentioned or done anything sexual.

I think she noticed, because before leaving the house for a personal errand, she came behind me as I sat in front of the computer, rubbed my back a little and reminded me that now we have the money to order her strapon. I think she did this to let me know that she is not upset, and still wants to take me from behind, but that I have to be a little more patient...

So, today's post is brought to you by the word PATIENCE

My first spanking...

I am on a roll (or should I say Miss V is on a roll?)

I arrived from work and V was in the bathtub. She sent me a text message telling me to go get in the bathroom. When I did, she told me that she was horny and wanted to be touched, but told me that I needed to go work out so I could get a green marble later.

She told me that she wanted me to get a green marble tonight, because she wanted me to come inside her. I told her that she could always made decisions, and that the marbles were only enforced for me.

"What?" she asked. "Change the marbles in your favor? Never! I'm having too much fun!"

I'm successfully creating a monster...

"You know what I want?" I asked. "I want you to spank me hard."

"Will you fuck me hard?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll spank you."

Later, when we got to the room, she undressed and asked me for the container that had the marbles, which I immediately gave to her. It only had 5 green marbles and 11 red ones, so I was not hoping for a green one.

It came out green.

"I wished it to be green," she said as I removed my clothes. "Get over here, boy"

As I approached, she pulled me and slapped me hard on the right cheek.

I kind of allowed her to place me on her legs and she more or less spanked me. She asked me if it was hard enough and I said that it could be harder.

"But your butt is red already," she said.

I told her that as she knows, I get red easily, but I was not hurting, and that if tomorrow I could not sit because of her spanking, it would only make me think of her.

"You are a weirdo," she said, spanking me harder. "But you are my weirdo."

She told me that she could not spank me any harder because her hands hurt, and I mentioned that that was the reason many spankings are done with implements.

She asked me for a kitchen spatula, I brought a plastic one with holes, which I hoped would have some sting and she proceeded to spank me some more, except that she asked me to turn around and screw her while she did it. I was so excited that I came before she did, but I managed to keep going long enough for her to get an orgasm as well...

"Thank you," she said.

"No," I said. "Thank you."

Then she asked me if I wanted to go outside and call everyone to bed, and I said no.

"What?" She said. "You just score once and now you think you're all that?"

She took the spatula and smacked me with it again to the rhythm of go-call-the-kids-to-bed!

I did as I was told and she commented that the spatula didn't seem to have the same effect on me after sex as it had before.

"It felt the same," I said, to which she responded that she was not talking about the sting on my butt, but my emotional response. I didn't know what to say about that.

After all was finished, I placed the spatula by my bedside table and told her that she could do it again whenever she felt like it.

"Of course," she said.

Now as I sit writing these lines, my butt is red and I can feel the heat of my first spanking, but I'm quite sure that by morning it will be all gone, because it was not that hard. It was her first time, and she really tried, so I know I will get it harder in the future.

Oh, and I almost forgot. Yesterday I mentioned that I thought Miss V wanted to hide behind her "maid" alter-ego to punish me. I think that is right, because at some point during my spanking today, she mentioned that the maid is very upset with me, and that when she comes (when her uniform arrives?) she is going to put me in all fours and beat the crap out of me...

I can't wait    ;)

About to be taken with a Strapon

As promised on Yesterday's post, here is an account of the conversation V and I held while on vacation. This happened very early in the morning, as we laid in bed. We'd had intercourse the night before and I had not been able to sleep after that. V was just waking up.

V described to me a "weird dream" that she had, where she had a penis, not a regular penis, but more like a malformed appendix that hung to her front and was totally dysfunctional. She said that it also looked "fake". I listened to her story and could not resist the temptation to suggest that I would love it if she would try doing me from behind with a fake.

"Really?" She asked.

I answered in the affirmative and explained to her that while I would never consider having sex with a man, I think I'd very much enjoy being on the receiving end of the relationship if she was the giver. She told me that she was curious, so I pressed my case and showed her some images of strap-on dildos. She pointed at one and said that it looked "sexy". I asked her if she would like to use it on me and she said that she would need to think about it.

We continued our conversation and she told me that a couple years ago, she would not have even considered something like this (I knew it! I've been saying this in my blog for a couple years now!) but that now she feels more secure and confident and understands that people can have different ways of enjoying themselves. She said that she was so glad that we could have this kind of conversations and that she thought that if I had brought this up when she was younger, she might have felt threatened, but now she was more open to new ideas. I felt like pushing it all the way, before the mood disappeared.

"Wow!" She said pointing at another one of the images. "With this we can REALLY switch roles!"

"No way!" I said. "This is way too big (it was huge) and you are not putting it inside me!"

"Now you know how I feel," she said laughing.

"But I'm tiny compared to THAT!"

"Not to my ass, you aren't"

I understood she was referring to anal sex, which we did several times early in our marriage, but she declared off-limits afterwards due to pain and her opinion of it being dirty.

"I can't believe I'm actually excited about this," she said. I have never done this, it is something new!"

"I haven't done it either," I said.

"We will be virgins again, with all the clumsiness and shyness and all that."

The conversation ended in her declaring that she would think about it some more before making a decision. I confessed to her that I was really excited with the idea of her fucking me from behind and thanked her for even considering it.

Two days later, I asked her if she had considered our conversation and she said that she had not, but the day after we returned from vacation, when I went into the room, she asked me if I liked something she was looking at on the computer. I walked in and saw a very sexy french maid outfit. I told her it was beautiful and she said that she would buy it for our "maid". My wife has a running joke where she tells everyone (family, friends, kids) that she doesn't do any housework ever, but that we have a maid that actually comes and does it for her. She was even looking at sexy french maid high heels, which I found very enticing. I like how V keeps growing in her confidence and seems to enjoy her erotic power more and more. It is promising, exciting and a little scary.

Anyway, since she had brought the "shopping for sexy stuff" topic up, I felt encouraged to ask her again about our vacation conversation. I was a little hesitant because I don't want to scare her or anything, but also, I don't want to waste opportunities to progress to the next level.

"Yes," she said. "Buy it for me, but make it beautiful."

My daughter overheard her saying that, since the door was open and she walked in asking what she was going to buy.

"Shoes," responded V.

"Oh, I want to see them," said the girl walking past me and looking at the computer.

Uh, oh...

I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, I asked my wife if my daughter had seen the sexy maid outfit and she told me that she had shoes on the screen. That was a pretty darned fast maneuver right there...

Anyway, I asked her what she meant by "beautiful" and she said that she didn't really know, but that we should look at them together and she would judge.

We did.

I found myself rejecting some "cute" ones because they were too big, and she rejected many because they were ugly. In the end we settled for a Tantus Curve strapon kit, which I'm trying to picture here:   

 

 

 

The conversation ended in me telling her that I didn't care for the look of the strapon, but only for the size of the dildo, and that all I wanted from the strapon was that she liked it and that it was comfortable for her, because if it was not fun for her, it would not be fun for me. She ended up by saying that she hopes that it will stay firmly in place, which sounded so promising to my ears that I already placed the order.

 

If anyone reading this has any experience with this kind of stuff, I'd love to hear it. I've never done this, so I'm ordering a numbing lubricant and an enema kit as well.

 

 

I can't believe I am about to be fucked from behind by none other than my wife!

Progress in Vacation

We have been away for a while, disconnected from the Internet and the stress of every day work.

We were travelling out of state, visiting some relatives of ours. We had fun (in a quiet, relaxing way) and are now back home to our day-to-day routines.

In terms of our relationship, there are several highlights to this vacation:

1. I took my marbles with me, which was good, because V was very willing to continue our game, even at someone else's house.
2. The odds were low, because we spent a few days on the road and those earned me red marbles.
3. I ended up drawing marbles 4 times, and only one came green, so I only had one orgasm during our trip, while I had intercourse 4 times (and was teased more than that). The one orgasm was terrific.
4. I made another confession to V about my secret fantasies. I think this deserves a post of its own and will leave it at that for now. For now I will say that she is actually thinking about it.
5. V literally ordered me to make her breakfast in front of my sister, and not only that, but she said "and make your sister whatever she wants to eat." I ended up cooking for the both of them while they relaxed by the bar. My sister was not too surprised by my wife asking (her husband helps around the house a lot, although he is not submissive, as far as I can tell) but she was timid when telling me what she wanted to eat. I ended up making the same breakfast for both. 

After I had my lone vacation orgasm, I could not sleep. I was still awake when V got up at 5:00 am, super tired, but too excitable to fall asleep. We both think that it may be because of the change in hormones after the orgasm, but we are not sure. I hope this does not become a problem, because it may limit my ability to have orgasms on a working day, and even though I crave denial, I still want my orgasms.

Another thing that has happened is that V is starting to use her decision power over the marbles, which was one of my goals when introducing the game. She did this in a few ways during our vacation:

1. One day, she gave me something additional to do, under the promise that if I did, I could get 2 green marbles in the container instead of one. I did as she told me, of course.
2. On one of the red marble days, I was penetrating her with great intent when she told me that she was already satisfied, but that I had a choice, I could keep going until orgasm if I "paid" (gave up) 3 green marbles (leaving only one in the container) or I could stop myself whenever I felt I was about to come and keep my count intact. It was a very hard decision (pun intended) because my denial days were at 7 or 8, but I remembered the last time my marbles were all red and it took 10 days for a green one to come up, so I stopped myself. She patted me on the head and said "Good Boy! Something good will come out of it, you'll see" 
3. The next morning, two marbles came out of the container when she  shook it, one green and one red. She decided to pick the green one because "it would have come first" even though I could see the red one on her hand before the green one fell. That was my only orgasm all vacation, so I didn't protest.
4. She ordered me to do three things in the morning and noticed I was less than enthusiastic at the idea, so she added that I would do these three things or she would change all my marbles to red. I looked at her and she smiled and said. "Now, THAT called your attention, eh? What are you going to do today?" After I repeated the three tasks back to her, she laughed out loud and and said "This is great!"

I love it when she uses her power over me like that and strive to obey her whenever she does, to encourage her and help her gain confidence in her ability to get her way with me by exercising erotic power.

Stay tuned for a description of our latest discussion, coming soon...

Lucky Release after 10 days

I woke up Monday morning with the raging hard-on that is becoming my morning companion. 8 days of denial had gone by and I was feeling quite desperate. I started rubbing V's back and she asked me if I wanted a quickie.

"I don't know," I said like a bumbling idiot. I don't even know why I said that.

"Marbles," she said, in that sweet but final tone that I'm just discovering.

She pulled a red one, as expected (1 green only) and ordered me to fuck her. I had barely penetrated her when I felt that I was about to cum and stopped. This is what I was afraid of, and I had been so glad that I had been able to give her multiple orgasms the previous days, but this time I couldn't.

She immediately pulled out when I said that I could go no more.

"I'm sorry," I said in all honesty, sounding like the lamentation of a lost soul.

"Don't worry about it," she said. "It's okay."

"I owe you one."

"More like three, boy," she finished.

I worked out and added a green marble to the container, ending the day with 2

On Tuesday, V surprised me by bringing me breakfast in bed. A little unusual as of late, but it was something she felt like doing, so she did. I was late and gobbled it up almost without chewing and ran to work. That afternoon, I worked out, and brought the green marble count to 3, but it really didn't matter because no marbles were drawn this day.

Later in the day I remembered that in my hurry, I had not even thanked V for the breakfast and I sent her a message doing so. In the afternoon, I told her in person and also thanked her for playing the game with me. I told her that it is really working and that it keeps me motivated to work out.

"That's good," she said with what I could call a wicked grin that made me go uh-oh...

On Wednesday afternoon, we arrived at home almost at the same time. I was walking into the living room when the boys entered through the kitchen door. I said hi to them as they walked by. Then my beautiful wife walked in, so I waited for her to give her a kiss. She pulled me back towards the kitchen, where the boys could not see us, pushed me against the wall and kissed me quite aggressively, getting her tongue deep into my mouth.

"Don't ask why," she said before sticking her tongue in my mouth again. I wasn't about to ask.

"So what's your plan for tonight?" V asked.

"I'm going to work out right now," I panted.

"You better," she said, giving me a soft slap in the bottom.

I worked out again and changed a marble to now have 4 green.

"Marbles," she said that night.

She pulled a marble, inspected it without letting me see it and suddenly bursted into laughter.

"Guess what you got?"

"Red," I said, 75% percent chances were with my guess.

She opened her hand and I saw, lying there in all its glory, a green marble.

I could not stop smiling. After 10 days of denial, I was going to score again. I hopped in bed and we made quite a bit of noise. I was a savage, ravishing V with the full intent of avenging 10 days of denial. She seemed to enjoy it more than usual as well, perhaps because of my energy level. I have no idea how many orgasms she had. I didn't count and didn't ask, but I know she had more than one, and possibly more than two.

My orgasm was hard and long.

Afterwards, I could not sleep. Every time I was about to fall asleep, I jumped, so I ended up getting up and working on a project on the computer. I was hyperactive, went to bed at 0400 and slept only two and a half hours. I don't know the reason for the insomnia. In the past, I have always slept better after sex. The hyper activity may have been caused by the exertion, or by the hormonal changes after orgasm (I have gone without sex for short periods before, never 10 days, and never with tease involved)

I know 10 days may sound like nothing to some, but to me it was a long time. It was a new record now that I don't relieve myself anymore. Now, another cycle begins. We will see what it brings.