Friday, September 28, 2012

Failures, Lessons and Denial, part 1

I have been in denial for a week now, and have failed in several ways. This is the first.
Lat week, V called me to the bedroom and asked me to give her the marbles container. I happily did, as I knew I had worked hard to get many green marbles there. She pulled one out. It was green.

"Lucky" she said, a little put down. I think she wanted to deny me. "Take your clothes off".

I obeyed in taking my clothes off, and I asked her who would be doing who, in the hope that she would decide to do me first. She asked for her strapon dildo and I brought it to her.

"Put it on," she said. "This time you are going to use it."

A myriad questions flooded my mind. Was I going to do her with the strapon? What if she liked it more than the real thing? Would she consider me "done" after she got her orgasm(s)? Would this become a new norm? Did I want our relationship to evolve this way? What to do?

Of course, I would obey V as long as she's willing to command, so after fumbling with the straps quite a bit (funny, she makes it look easy when she does it) I finally got it in place. By that time, the combination of fear and the effort of strapping the thing had made me lose the erection, so the strapon front panel covered my penis completely.

"Now, come over here," she ordered and I stood in front of her. "Where is your thing?" she asked, seeing how the strapon looked too comfortable to have a bulging erection underneath.

"It's here, I assure you."

She looked at my shiny new member closely and then said "No, I don't think I want that think inside me. Take it off."

As I did, she took it off my hands and quickly (and easily) put it on.

"Come on," she said showing me her 'erection' and handing me the lubricant. "It is your job to get it ready."

I knelt in front of her and couldn't resist the urge to kiss her dildo. She didn't back down but she said that it didn't do anything for her, so I quickly resumed my duties of lubricating the weapon that was soon to be used against me, although deliciously.

"How do you want me?" I asked standing up. She pulled me and pushed me against the bed, in the same position she had started before and began pounding on my behind. It hurt a little because there was no preparation and my anus was resistant, but I said nothing. The last thing I want is to make her worry and stop. Soon enough the lubricant was doing its job and I was taking it like a champ.

This time, she didn't slow down and I came close to orgasm, but my legs became too tired to continue and the imminent orgasm faded away. She noticed that I was tired and asked me if I wanted to stop.

"Can we change positions?" I asked.

She accepted and I climbed up to the bed and placed myself in all fours. I expected that she would climb after me and continue the operation, but she didn't. I turned to look at her and saw her disgusted expression. The dildo was dirty with fecal matter.

"I'm a little disgusted right now," she said, looking in a different direction. I felt so ashamed that I told her not to move, and I took care of everything as I apologized multiple times. I placed a pair of dirty shorts over the dildo so she would not see it, and took the whole thing away, fully expecting that she would be upset at me.

"From now on," she said as I cringed, fully expecting to hear that she would never do me again. "Any time that you want me to use that thing (she pointed at the covered dildo in my hands) you will need to use that thing (she points towards my drawer) first."

She was referring to the enema kit that I had used prior to our previous engagements. It is not in my drawer, but that doesn't matter. What little joy I could feel was in knowing that there would be more to come for me.

"Take care of that later," she said laying face up on the bed. "Now come give me the real thing".

I made love to her until I had an orgasm, which has been my last to date. After that, she pushed me away and told me to go wash the things and take a shower.

And such was my first failure. The lesson I learned from this is that I should have been aware that I had not cleansed myself and should have asked for permission to go do it, or resign myself to not enjoy the activity. In short: BE CLEAN. 

Another failure coming soon...

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Not Much to Say...

Everything has continued as described in the past few posts, so I have not deemed it necessary to post.

Denial has become more common, and teasing is intermittent, as in sometimes I get a lot and sometimes none. Obviously, when not teased, I get depressed, and when teased, I get excited. Nothing new there.

No new spankings have happened, although I was offered one the other day.

I have been taken from behind with the strapon dildo several times now, and V seems to enjoy it a lot. The last time she was sounding as if she was getting some pleasure from it, but I can't be sure.

Well, I have lost some more weigh now, and reached the lower weigh I had just before my injure. I still need to lose plenty more, and with treatment making me better, I hope I will be able to do more effective workouts.

I will post again soon.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Thus I lost my virginity

In my last post I mentioned that V's strap-on had arrived and that she had told me that last night would be the night when she would take me with it. This is the account of how it happened.

The day passed slowly, because I was waiting, expectant. V had to go out and had asked me to prepare dinner for her before she came home. I tried, I really tried, but there were technical difficulties, so I could not finish the job. As soon as I realized that dinner could not be ready as I had been told, I texted V and told her. She understood, and told me that she would take care of the problem when she returned.

She came and brought what I needed, and asked me to fix the partially made dinner while she did other things with the girls. I did.

After dinner was served and mostly eaten, V approached me and told me that in her experience, that things I was about to do would take about half an hour. I didn't know what she was referring to, so I asked. She was talking about the enema she knew I was going to have, so I explained that I had already done it. She seemed a little put back by this, so I asked her if she wanted to be involved, but she reiterated her previous "no way!"

After all things were done, she told me that she was going to the room and that I should follow.

Once there, she proceeded to take her clothes off, but kept a pair of boy-short panties on.

"What are you looking at?" V asked.

"You are so beautiful," I said, in all honesty. I think she is the most beautiful creature alive.

"I saw the way you were looking at me," she said. "I know you are wanting me, my mother warned me about men like you!"

"What did she say?" I asked, following along.

"That I should make then do my bidding," she said. I felt a little tug on my crotch as she said that.

"What would you have me do, Miss?"

"Bend over."

I walked around the bed and gave her the strap-on, which was hidden in my drawer per her instructions and she put it on while standing in front of the mirror. Seeing her adjusting the straps and knowing what was to come made me weak in the knees.

After the strap-on was properly adjusted, she turned around to face me.

"Do I look fat?" V asked.

"No!" I said quickly.

"Good answer," she said approaching me. "Take your clothes off."

I did. My hands were shaking.

She approached me and kissed me, rubbing her silicone dildo against my hard on.

"I don't know what to do," she said. "I'm nervous."

"I'm nervous too," I said. "But it should be okay."

"Are we going to lubricate it or something?" She asked.

I gave her the lubricant and she placed two drops on the tip, then rubbed it into the shaft.

"I should have made YOU do this," she said, her hand moving up and down her shaft in a masturbatory fashion. "This should be your job."

"I'm just going to lay face up and let you ride it," she said pulling me towards the bed, but as I approached, she pulled me past her and pushed me against the bed.

"Bend over," she said.

I obediently did and she pressed herself against me, holding me in place.

"Is it here?" she asked twice, making adjustments until the third time, I felt the head of her dildo pressing into my outer sphincter.

"Are you okay?" She asked when the dildo suddenly went a little into me.

"Yes," I said. "I'm fine."

She kept pushing and pulling little by little, asking me with each and every thrust if I was doing fine. I reassured her that I was fine and that I would let her know if I had any problem.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm killing the mood. I will stop asking questions."

The dildo was further in, three-quarters or so, by my estimate (I could not see it, so I may be wrong) when she asked me another question.

"How deep should I go?"

"Go all the way, honey." I said.

After that, she didn't ask anything else. She began to push harder, until I had taken the whole length of the dildo in. Then she began to pump in and out while scratching my back and keeping me firmly pressed against the bed.

"This is sexy!" She said as I moaned in pleasure and moved my hips back and forth to get more of her dildo inside.

I got tired relatively fast, because I was standing on my tip-toes, so I asked her if we could climb on the bed. We did and she took me from behind again, doggie style.

This time, she went straight for my anus, finding it easy and went all the way inside in her first attempt. I guess that me being on all fours probably gave her a better view of her target. She used her hand to go around and stroke my penis. After doing this for a bit, I felt that I was about to come and asked her if she could stop using the hand, because I wanted to see if I could have an orgasm from the anal action alone. She agreed, and continued pumping my ass until she got tired.

I then told her that I could ride her, as she had suggested earlier, and she went face up. On this position, I had a hard time getting the dildo straight into my anus, and it came out twice. It also didn't penetrate far enough, probably because the bed is too soft and we kind of sink into it. I think that in order for this to work, a pillow needs to be placed under her hips.

The other problem with me riding her, is that I'm larger and it feels very awkward for me to basically fuck myself that close to her face. She didn't seem to mind, though and bit on my nipples while we did it. Again, if the dildo was going in deeper and not coming out, I think I may have had an orgasm on this position.

We went back to the first position, this time at V's request. She told me that it was the easiest for her and she fucked me until she got tired, at which point she pulled back and told me that she was done for the night.

"Turn around," I said breathlessly.

This time it was her turn to misunderstand, so I clarified.

"Turn around and take this off" I said, helping her take the strap-on off.

Then I grabbed her and pushed her against the bed, in the same position she had been fucking me.

"Oh no," she said. "You are not going to enter my ass!"

I was already going into her vagina, so she stopped arguing.

"Oh, baby," she moaned. "You are so much better at this than me!"

"I've had some practice," I said.

I apologized in advance because I knew I was close to orgasm, but she said that she was close too and actually managed to have hers just before I had mine.

All in all, it was a beautiful experience. We had a discussion afterwards and the following points came up.

  • I loved it.
  • It was cleaner than I expected, probably because of the earlier enema.
  • I felt grateful
  • She crossed a line that no woman had crossed before (with me).
  • She loved it.
  • It was easier that she expected. The strap-on held surprisingly well.
  • It was better than she expected because she thought I'd come right away, but I didn't and she got hers as well.
  • This is like having the best of both worlds.
  • Next time she will go open crotch.
  • She wants a dildo that is actually bigger than my penis (uh-oh!)
And this is the tale of how I lost my virginity.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Nervous as a teenage girl...

My order is here. It seemed an eternity as I waited and waited for it to arrive, but faithful to its promise, the UPS guy came here yesterday afternoon and dropped off my package, or should I say V's package?

We opened the box last night, even though V warned me that we could not do anything with it because we had a previous engagement. When I saw the CURVE, my first impression was that it was larger than I expected. However, after taking it out of the box and placing it in the harness, I realized that it was not as large as I feared.

"Mine is prettier than yours," V said, mockingly. True in my opinion, as I don't particularly like penises.

V tried it on and checked herself in the mirror.

"Wow," she said. "Now I know how guys feel."

I had to ask.

"Well, now I feel different, because instead of being penetrated, it will be me doing the penetration. How do you feel about that?"

"A little nervous," I said truthfully.

She laughed and said that our roles have reversed completely.

She got close and started to rub her toy against me. I got a full erection in no time.

"Take it out," she said, pointing to my crotch. I obeyed. "Oh, yours is still bigger, thicker."

She placed them side by side and played with both, commenting on how the silicon one felt just like mine and how firmly in place the harness remained as she moved around. I hope it behaves the same way as we put it to real use.

"This is an adventure," she said. "But we can't do it tonight (I knew already) I will take you tomorrow."

She took it off and gave it to  me for safekeeping.

"Are you a virgin?" She asked suddenly.

"Yeah," I said.

She teased me that she was going to be my first, but that I should not be afraid because she was going to be nice and gentle with me. Then she told me that she was not an anal virgin and asked me if I found that disappointing.

"No," I said. I knew she wasn't because early in our marriage I entered her anally several times. According to conversations we had since then, she only allowed me to do it because she wanted to experiment, but she didn't like it and that's the reason I never again got tickets to the back door. Although I don;t know for sure, I think I was her first anal partner. Now she is going to be mine.

After that, we left on our errands.

This morning, while still in bed, I was kissing and rubbing her back and I told her I wanted her.

"I know," she said. "You can wait, and today you can't want me, because today I want you."

"Huh?" I'm such an idiot when my blood goes down there...

"I'm going to be the one doing the screwing tonight."

After that, she asked me to make her breakfast in bed and gave me a shopping list. She said she was going to be busy, and that tonight she would have "relaxing sex".

I gave myself an enema, to be ready for her. I read somewhere that you should do it several hours before intercourse, so you are not leaking water in the moment of truth, so I did it before noon. I used warm water and did it three times.  V knew I was going to do it (the enema kit came with her strapon) and agreed to it s long as she doesn't have to be involved. This means that she will not be giving me any enemas, something that would have been very erotic, but I can live without. Then again, she might change her mind later...

Now I'm home alone, super ready for her, but she will not be home until later. She asked me to have dinner ready by the time she comes back, and I am not planning to disappoint her, so I will stop this post right now.

If everything goes according to plan, I'll describe the loss of my virginity as soon as possible.

I'm as nervous as a teenage girl right now...

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Another (way better) Spanking

I should have posted this yesterday, but had no time, so here it is. There is another post that should be written today, so if I have time, I will double post today.

I received a better spanking this time.

I had left some clothes out of place (very few, mind you) and V came over to my side of the bed and pointed at them.

"What is this?" She asked in the severe tone I have come to associate with good things to come.

I started to pick the clothes up to place them in their proper place when she asked me if I knew what the maid would do if she found out that I was making a mess in "her house". (See the past few posts to see who the "maid" is)

"I don't know," I said meekly. I wanted to say that she would tie me up face down on my bed and give me a spanking that would last me a week, but I said nothing.

"She's going to be mad," she said. "Very mad, and you are not going to like it."

I placed the clothes in the hamper and V called me to her side. She asked me to do something, which I have to confess, because of what came after, I don't even remember, but she made me agree to it.

What I remember is what she did to make me say yes. She took the kitchen spatula that she used to spank me the last time and started to ask me questions. Every "yes" answer earned me a hard slap on the bottom. Every "no" only earned me a soft caress. In the end, she told me that I had to agree is I knew what was good for me, and I did.

After I agreed, she called me "good boy" and told me to get naked and give her a foot massage. As I began to lower myself to my knees, she ordered me to stop and indicated that I should do it in reverse position and with my ass up. She proceeded to lay back as I knelt beside her with my naked behind in her direction, sticking up.

As I worshiped her feet, with massage and kisses, she inflicted quite some pain on my behind. Every time I slowed down on my attentions to her feet, she stopped spanking me.

"You stop, I stop," She said, which drove me crazy and I started licking and kissing her feet with more intensity, as she returned the "favor" on my burning behind.

"Keep that butt up!" She said whenever I faltered, emphasizing her words with a quick slap. "This will be a work out for you."

This time she didn't show mercy. This time she went hard on my bottom and I felt the burning even the morning after, even though I could not see any markings. I can't feel it anymore, and there is not redness, so even though it burned as it hit, it was nothing compared to what some others around here are getting.

It was still amazing, though. Really nice, and made me feel really grateful. Being down there at her feet, being free to express my love to her via foot worship while she spanked my ass red made me feel her power and control in a way that I could not even imagine just a few months (no, weeks) ago.

She just came into the room, pulled my chair back, making me stare at her upside down face.

"You are going to do the dishes," she said matter-of-factly. "And you are going to do them as soon as we finish eating, or I won't be doing any cooking tonight, Got it?"

"Yes, you get it." She said before I had time to answer.

So I left this post unfinished, walked to the kitchen, wore her apron, which is probably going to be mine pretty soon (no need to rush things now, right?), and did all the dishes.

Good times.

Saturday, September 1, 2012


I was not able to submit the order for my strapon (V's strapon, to be technically correct) because there were no funds on my bank account and my other credit card was at the limit (until today).

Bad Economy anyone?

So, I finally managed to submit the order today, and now have to wait until it arrives. This is where patience is needed, because just thinking about my Princess taking me from behind makes my knees jiggle, but I have been too excited as of late and need to take it a little easier.

This morning, after drawing a RED marble and giving V an unreturned orgasm, she told me that I had to do something with my day.

"We are having a lot of fun lately with all the sex," she said. "But you need to do something else. You can't be thinking about sex all day long. The whole idea of this was to make you more productive."

You see? All I planned to do today was to wash the dishes and do the laundry, both things that V asked me to do, but she wants me to do other things, like work on my own projects. I think I have been smothering her with my "needy" behavior.

I'm glad she understands that orgasm denial makes me more productive (or that it's supposed to) but I need to be careful no to wear out my success and her fun by being too overwhelming or overbearing.

For the rest of the day, I have been engaged in other activities (did the dishes too, of course) and even though it is first and foremost in my mind, I have not mentioned or done anything sexual.

I think she noticed, because before leaving the house for a personal errand, she came behind me as I sat in front of the computer, rubbed my back a little and reminded me that now we have the money to order her strapon. I think she did this to let me know that she is not upset, and still wants to take me from behind, but that I have to be a little more patient...

So, today's post is brought to you by the word PATIENCE