Saturday, June 28, 2014

Father's Day Strapon - Pause - Then Two in a row

Miss V's schedule has been opposite mine for a while, so there had not been any activity between us since Father's day, when she took me from behind with the strap-on and then finished me off in a hand job while I rode on top.

I think handjobs are more pleasurable than vaginal sex, and if they are done while I ride a strap-on, then they are incredibly intense. Miss V knows this and that's the reason she offered it to me as my Father's Day gift.

Originally, in the morning, she gave me a card and a pair of wonder woman's panties.

No, it's not what you are thinking (or what I was thinking/hoping at  the moment). The panties were not for me to wear, but for me to see her wear as she intended to be wonder woman and fuck me later. She left them with me while she went to work (yes, she worked on Father's day) and told me that I should get ready (her code for taking a good shower and enema) if I wanted her attentions at night.

Well, after that gift, she's been way too busy to even see me, as I've been asleep by the time she comes home and she's been asleep at the time I leave in the morning.

I waited for her a couple of nights, but she just stated that she was too tired and went ot bed. This gets me in a bad mood, because I don't get enough sleep and then suffer a total lack of productivity during the day.

So in summary, nothing had happened for the last few weeks.

Until last night.

She came home, pulled my blankets, and told me that I needed to fuck her (yes, she used the word, which she rarely does) I was half asleep, so she grabbed on to my cock and started roughing it up until I actually responded. We had regular sex (meaning, nothing kinky) and I ended up having an orgasm inside her, not even stopping to think to ask permission. I guess the whole thing didn't take that long, but I was exhausted, and so was she.

This morning, she woke me up again and had me fuck her, this time from behind, in spooning position, before heading for work (yes, she works on Saturdays too!) and I ended up having another orgasm. "Oh," she said as I convulsed my ejaculation. "I soooo needed to be fucked."

Since I was tired from the week's work, and lack of sleep, I went back to sleep assuming she had left, but she woke me up again before leaving.

No, it was not for more sex... Phew!

"You have gotten two freebies now," she said, waving her wonder woman panties in front of my face. "I want all the dishes done before I come home from work, and clean the kitchen."

Yes, she's getting ready to deny me again. I know it.

I realize that I got two orgasms in a row, and they may have been because she really wanted me to have them, or maybe because she felt that she had not seen me at all in almost three weeks, or perhaps it is just as she says ans she needed to feel me explode inside her. Sometimes it is hard to understand, so it is better to just do as you are told and enjoy it.

The funny thing is that instead of feeling drained, I've been horny and leaking precum in my pants all day. I guess the two orgasms in quick succession may have accelerated cum production? I don't know, but now I want another one really badly, so her denial tonight, which I can almost take for granted, will be stronger than usual for a day one.

Anyone with any information as to why this may be?

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Focusing on Others

Recently, I've been working with an online slave trainer, called Mistress Lina, who challenged me to write about focusing on others. This is what she said:

Your registration number is:   XXX 
Your first step is to try let go of your ego and focus on other people (family, friends or me). You can write about it when you feel you have made some progress. Letting go of 'I want' is not easy and might take some time and effort.

So, I thought: Whoa! This is way too easy! I wanted her to... and then it hit me. I was starting on the "I want" wagon right away. For the next couple of days, I considered the diference between trying to tell a mistress how you want her to dominate you, versus accepting her control in any way that she chooses to exercise it.

I came to one conclusion: True submissiveness is not easy. To think purely in the sense of "What she wants" and not in terms of my own personal desires is not easy. You have to step out of your shoes and into hers. Does she really want to have a man kneeling in front of her licking her feet? Maybe some women do, but Miss V definitely doesn't and when she allows it to happen, it is a gift she gives me, and not a service to her in any way. One time when I asked her what she really wanted, she said "an immaculate kitchen". That day I worked really hard to make the kitchen as clean as she wated it, and when she came home, she told me that I had done well, and when we went to the bedroom, she drew a marble, which was red. She told me she was too tired to enjoy herself, so she would save the red bead for the morning. In the interim, she said, I could get the cream and give her a foot rub while I though about how much SHE was going to enjoy in the morning.

There was a truly dominating act from Miss V (I even got to kiss her feet that night) that came about when I refrained from going after what I wanted and really did what SHE wanted. For the most part, however, I still have much to learn in terms of focusing in her needs and desires instead of  my fantasies. I already have the marbles game, which Miss V plays heartily, and this gives me denial. Now I have to make a better effort of forgetting my "selfish self" and focusing more perfectly in her needs and wants.

Mistress Lina said: A fake dominant, serves the slave and takes his money; a true Dominant is served by the slaves and the slaves are happy because they served her.

So in essence, in both cases there is give and take, but only one of them can bring lastign satisfaction.

I think I'm about getting ready to answer Mistress Lina's challenge.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

My Problem, not Hers...

I'm getting to my house, a little later than usual, and Miss V is on her way out to work. We cross paths on the front of our building, we kiss, exchange some unimportant details about our respective days and she tells me she will be coming home earlier.

She tells me she needs to go, and we say our good-byes.

"Oh, and by the way," she adds as an afterthought. "Your marble for tonight is RED*".

"Why?" I ask. I don't even know why I ask. I don't want to, but I still do it.

She shrugs. "Because that's what I drew".

I complain. I know I shouldn't, but I do nevertheless. I still need to learn. My main complaint is that by drawing the marble before I get home, she denies me the opportunity of earning today's green marble before the draw.

"Well,"she says, "That is your problem, not mine..."

She's right. That is indeed my problem. Not hers.

And learning to stop questioning her is my problem too...

*NOTE: This refers to the long-term orgasm denial game we play, which has already been described elsewhere on these pages where my positive behavior earns green marbles, and my negative behavior earns me red ones. When Miss V doesn't particularly care whether I cum or not (which is most of the time), she draws a marble. Green means orgasm, red means none. There are other rules, like every Sunday 5 green marbles are replaced by red ones, but this is the essence of the rules.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Her Confidence in my Denial.

"I'm thinking about you", I text my wife.

She texts a picture back, of her bare foot, the big toe sticking out. "Think some more" she writes.

I do. I love how she chooses a foot as her text tease. One week ago she texted me a picture of her pantied bottom with the caption "I miss you".

I get home with barely enough time to see her, make out a bit in the kitchen and press myself against her to let her know of my horniness level. There are children around, so all she does to indicate that she had noticed is moan a little in my ear, which if course, makes my horniness indicator flare up another notch.

"I'm hoping..." I start as she walks out of the house. She interrupts me.

"Hope all you want,"she says as she closes the door. "But do the dishes".

I'll bet you can guess whether the dishes were done.

I love how her confidence in my denial is growing.