Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My New Chastity Device: Initial Impressions

Well, My new chastity device is here. It arrived today at my work office. Here are my thoughts about it.

The Seller's Name Matters

Warning: Even though the seller says that they will ship on discreet packaging, when you order through Amazon, the name of the seller will appear as the sender, so if you have a choice between buying from "Ultra Kinky Sexual Aids" (I'm making the names up) and "Cortex Labs" I'd recommend going with the second.

The postal service dropped it in front of the door last night (why do they even deliver to an office building at 8pm?) and when I arrived this morning it was on the front desk. There is no way of knowing how many of my coworkers saw the darned thing, with the explicit seller name as the sender.

That said, I dropped the box in my desk drawer and waited for my break to open it.

OMG This Thing is Big and Heavy! 

The device arrived in a cardboard box, and inside it was sealed in a white plastic bag. When I opened the box and hefted the device It seemed too heavy for me, but then I realized that I had ordered a device with 3 rings, so there was additional weigh in the bag that I would not have to hang from mine.

I also thought is was bigger than it really was, because of the wrapping material. Once I uncovered the whole thing and remembered that the ring goes BEHIND the scrotum, I realized the size was OK.

No Way this is Stainless Steel

It is chrome plated. I don't think someone would build something out of stainless steel and then chrome plate it. Of course, I paid for a cheap device, so even though it said stainless steel in the description, I had no illusion. The question is whether it will rust. It will be answered soon enough.

At least there are no rough edges to it. I made use of that by rubbing it inside and out with my finger before even thinking of getting it closer to any sensitive body parts.

Here is an image of it. The ring pictured is the 1.75 inches one. It also has a 1.5 and 2.0 inches (diameter)

Trying It On

So, I could not help but trying it. I was on break, so I brought some alcohol from the first aid station to clean it. It said on the description that all stainless steel devices need to be sterilized by boiling or with alcohol before use. I though it a sound idea, and since I didn't want anyone catching me cooking a metal device in the kitchen, the choice for alcohol was made.

I went to the bathroom and tried to install the 1.5 ring. It was way too small. I then brought the 1.75 and it went in. Like the instructions online said, since it is a solid ring, you have to let your little friends in one at a time. Fortunately I had read that somewhere, because otherwise I'd have thought that the device was built for hobbits... Although I don't know about those hobbits - They have large feet.

Once the ring was in, it was time to go inside the tube (or series of rings). This proved to be more of a challenge because no matter how flaccid I was to begin with, as soon as the tube toughed me there was some growth involved. I discovered that you don;t need to be erect to be unable to enter the tube. As long as you are not completely flaccid, you are not going in. I was fortunate that someone else entered the bathroom stall next to mine. I don;t know why, but all biological functions seem to halt in the presence of neighbors. I took advantage of the shrinkage to slip into the tube undetected, 

This is one of those models that need to be locked to hold in place, so I locked it.


  • It doesn't show through my work clothes. I need to check when wearing jeans to see.
  • It feels as if it is going to fall, but it doesn't
  • It is not as heavy as I thought would be, I wore it for 4 hours and it didn't bother. I need to test it for longer periods of time.
  • It's very hard to pee while wearing it. The hole in the front is too small. My "eye" is as big. I ended up pulling back a little and peeing from one of the side windows. This could be a problem if I'm wearing it overnight, because I usually wake up with morning wood, and will not be able to pull to the side. This will need to be studied further.
  • It is easy to take off. One you unlock it, you slide off it easily. The ring stays, but it takes an easy tug and twist motion to get it out.
  • You cannot leave the ring on for sex. The spike that holds the lock protrudes in a very inconvenient place, so when released, you have to remove the ring as well.

The plan

I need to introduce it to Miss V before I can continue testing. She knew I wanted one, and I'm hoping to be able to reach some type of arrangement that is not cumbersome to her. I will tell her that I have it but that I need to test it and iron all the kinks (is that the word for this?) before I ask her to hold the key. My wife is going on a trip in January, so i will have time to test it for several days and nights before she returns. By the time she gets back, I should know how to use it and have an idea of its limitations. My goal then, is to hand the keys over when she returns from her trip.

Well, that's it for now. I have homework to do. I will post something more in the near future. 

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Coming Soon...

I went ahead and bought this:

Yes, It's a cheap one, but it is for experimentation and I can't afford to drop a lot of money for a  better product. Another factor in choosing this one was that it comes with 3 different rings, so I have a better chance to fit.

It says that it is made of stainless steel, but I honestly don't think that's the case. I guess I'll see those stains pretty soon, if there are any.

This should arrive before Christmas, according to the tracking number.

My intention is to show it to Miss V on Christmas Day and start using it, but to keep the key with me until I'm sure of a proper fit. Later, I'll hand her the key and the lock, and ask her to lock it up.  I shiver when I think of the sound of the lock clicking shut.

Evidently, I'll have to discuss a few things with V first. Her concerns before had been few, and I present them in the order she mentioned them to me.

  • She did not want to buy it herself (the first thing out of her mouth when I asked her for one was "can't you buy it yourself?"
  • Why metal? She was wondering if it would be too hard, if it will hurt or if it is too ugly. I talked to her about plastic and silicone, and I think she understood why I wanted metal.
  • What would happen if we are separated too long. She asked me what would happen if I am locked and she goes away for the week. I don't think I was too successful at explaining this one, but we need to agree on the use of an emergency lock, obviously, because I need to be able to unlock if there is an emergency, I think this will only become an issue with extended use, and not if the device only sees limited use, as I see it.
Well, the worst thing that can happen is that she decides that she hates the thing and rejects it outright. I think she has given me implicit consent to get one, and there will not be any major trouble other than an unused cheap chastity device.

The other "bad"thing that could happen is that she likes it too much and I become a long term user... I qualify that because I have this fantasy, but have never experienced the reality of it, so it may be different. 

I might post a first impressions review when I receive the package (depending on whether I think there is anything interesting to say), and probably a post describing the testing phase. If I get locked up by V, I'll definitely post about that.

Wish me luck...

On another note, There is a new post in the Victoria's Playground blog. It is called Victoria's Gift to Me and discusses part of what the dominant woman brings to the table in my version of a Male Chastity Relationship.  

So far, there has not been much interest or activity on that blog, but I'm `planning to keep working on it for a while at least, because it is helping me put together my thoughts about this subject.   

Monday, December 15, 2014

A Little Down, a Little Confused

I have not had sex in almost a month now.

No, it's not a period od denial. it's just no sex. I told my wife that I needed some and she told me that I liked not getting any... Have I given her the wrong impression?

I have been cranky, lazy, rude, innattentive, have been eating too much, watching porn, masturbating, talking back to my wife... You get the idea.  In short, if I had decided to do everything possible to not to follow my own advice, this is how I'd behave.

I have no excuse other than to admit that I am a jerk that needs to be controlled externally. For years I thought that I wanted it, and now, after having tasted some of it, as little as it was, I realized that I need it. To try to remember my goals and my feelings, I'm working on the new blog. I made two new posts:

The One Rule
What I can give to Victoria

Today, when I arrived I tried to kiss my wife and she didn't let me at first because I was too cold (coming from outside as I was) so she blew on my lips before kissing me very lightly. Then she blew on my ears, one at a time and told me "You just got a blow job".  Sadly I could not answer that I wanted a real one because my daughter was right there. My wife's timing was perfect. SHe gets to say something and by the time I react, we are in public.

Now she's gone again, and I'm alone (with the internet), I have not masturbated for 48 hours. I feel like a loser, but I don't think that wallowing in my misery is going to make things better.

When I first asked V to exercise orgasm control on me it was with the excuse that I needed encouragement to lose weight. Perhaps I can pull it off again, but I don't know.  She has no problem saying no anymore, which is what I wanted, but now she doesn't tease.

How do I explain this?

I need the tease to proviode the energy to do what I need to do...

To be continued.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

New Blog: Victoria's Playground

I've started a new blog called Victoria's Playground where I'm going to share my vision of male chastity and orgasm denial in the form of games couples can play. I base the blog in my own (very limited) experiences with Miss V (the Victoria from the title), on my interpretation of female domination literature (books, websites and blogs) and sure, why not a little bit of make-a-wish fantasy,

I think that it will give me a medium to share my thoughts in a format different that the "I wanted this, but she did that ... wah wah..." that this blog has become.  

Victoria's playground will be a work of theory and games, with no accounts of my experiences. The recollection of my attempts (or should I call them my failures?) in trying to achieve some semblance of a FLR will continue to be in this blog.

A new blog by V's Boy
You can reach Victoria's Playground by clicking HERE or by entering the following address in your web browser: http://victoriaplays.blogspot.com/

My hope in writing the new blog is to help me articulate what I really want out of orgasm control and male chastity and perhaps one day to let Miss V. Read it. For that reason there will be no recounting of my sexual experiences with her, or anything that could endanger our privacy. For that reason, comments on Victoria's Playground, if there are any,  will be moderated.

As of right now, there is only one post in Victoria's Playground. Here is a direct link, in case you want it: The Simple Game of Orgasm Control.

Go check it out, if that's your cup of tea, and let me know what you think.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Trade failed... Don't know what to do.

Didn't work.

V did not want to give me a hand job. She wanted "regular sex" even though she medically should not be doing it.

We did it, even though I didn't want to and didn't want to hurt her. She said she was all right but she was showing signs of pain later, when she thought I was not watching.

I don't know what to do.

She is too young, and too hot to not be able to enjoy herself.

If she liked oral sex, I could please her, but she doesn't.

I don't know what to do.

From mild denial we have gone to no sex at all, and I have fallen back into my old lazy, masturbatory ways.

And I feel bad about it.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Asking for a Trade

Before leaving for work this morning, I left this note for my sleeping beauty:

I want to propose a trade. You give me a hand that I need very much, and I'll give you ____________________ (fill the blank).  Love U.

Go ahead, take advantage. You know I will do anything I can possibly do.

When I returned from work, I looked for the note, hiping toi find a response, but knowing that cxhances were low. It was not where I left it, and I checked around the floor to make sure it had not accidentally dropped. I found the note face down beneath some school permission slip or something, but the blank was not filled... Bummer...

Later, I approached her from behind in the kitchen and kissed her neck. I whispered in her ear how much I want her and she said "I know, I'm thinking on what to get on your trade. I want it to be something really evil..."

"Go right ahead," I said. "You know I like it when I have to pay a price."

Then she started to walk away and told me that perhaps she will have me fix my car (it's an old clunker we never use but she would like the idea of having it available for me to run errands) and my son's car (another clunker he bought himself, but won't fix because he can barely afford gas). My son's car will be easier to fix than mine, so I'll probably tackle that one first and then use it (and my son) to get the things I'm going to need to work on mine.

This is fair market value for a hand job nowadays, right? I've been out of the marketplace for a while, so I don't know...

But hey, people like me are not precisely looking for fair exchanges... I was glad that even though she is recovering from surgery and has not been able to have sex for so long now, she still recognizes that she has the long end of the stick when it comes to the symmetry of our relationship (or the lack thereof).

I don't know how much longer it will be before she can have sex again, but I better prepare for it to last long, because in six months she'll have to undergo another surgery, and a possible third one 6 months after. I'm planning on asking for trades every week so she can get at least some benefit while I get some attention as well.

The downside of it all is that I can't please her sexually. I am thinking perhaps with a vibrator, one of the ones that are used from the outside (not penetrative) but I really don't know much about this, so if any reader (if I still have any) can give me ideas, I'm all ears.

So, tomorrow I think I'm getting a hand job from Miss V. She is not a big fan of hand jobs, and with reason, since they are not pleasurable for her, so what she does, is she starts with oral, until she hears me panting in a way that suggests to her that I'm close to having my orgasm or until her jaw tires. At that time, she pours some lotion on her hands (or sometimes pours the cold thing directly on my hot penis) and gets to it, I don't know exactly, but my guess is that by first going down on me, she cuts the time it takes for me to reach my orgasm by about half.

I'll probably post some more after I find out what the price of this hand job is going to be.

Now, be quiet you all, and don't tell her that she could get away with me fixing the cars even if she denied me... Hell, especially if she denied me.

I will tell her after... I'm too horny now.

Monday, October 6, 2014

The reason for my silence...

This is probably the worst news I have shared here so far.

Miss V is suffering from horrible pelvic floor pain, apparently caused by a previously undetected lession she got in one of her pregnancies and has been told that the condition will be permanent, The current effort is to manage the symptoms.

This means no sex... (possibly forever)

With this, her desire has dissappeared, and her interest in all things sexual.

The most important thing right now is to help her recover, It is being hard on both of us. On me because of the dual reality that on the one hand I desire her as much as always, but she feels disinclined to do things for me because it is her understanding that I "like being horny" (Talk about backfiring). On the other hand, it is painful to see her suffering and being unable to do simple things that she would take for granted. Please note that this is no old woman by any measure, but still in her mid 30's.

I suffer from back pains due to an old injury and every once in a while I have a flare-up that sometimes can be incapacitating. However, it is one thing to know that if I rest for a couple days and take my meds, I'll be up again and a totally different thing altogether to be given no hope. The various doctors (and now pain specialists and therapists) that she is seeing are telling her that she will not recover because her problem was supposed to have been taken care of back when she had the baby 14 years ago and her tissues will not heal.

So, as far as the topic of this blog is concerned, all activity has ceased, and I am now in a not-by-choice sexless relationship.

I will post something if and when the situation changes. For now, I need to go focus on helping her and making sure she recovers as much as she possibly can.

Thank you all for reading.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Father's Day Strapon - Pause - Then Two in a row

Miss V's schedule has been opposite mine for a while, so there had not been any activity between us since Father's day, when she took me from behind with the strap-on and then finished me off in a hand job while I rode on top.

I think handjobs are more pleasurable than vaginal sex, and if they are done while I ride a strap-on, then they are incredibly intense. Miss V knows this and that's the reason she offered it to me as my Father's Day gift.

Originally, in the morning, she gave me a card and a pair of wonder woman's panties.

No, it's not what you are thinking (or what I was thinking/hoping at  the moment). The panties were not for me to wear, but for me to see her wear as she intended to be wonder woman and fuck me later. She left them with me while she went to work (yes, she worked on Father's day) and told me that I should get ready (her code for taking a good shower and enema) if I wanted her attentions at night.

Well, after that gift, she's been way too busy to even see me, as I've been asleep by the time she comes home and she's been asleep at the time I leave in the morning.

I waited for her a couple of nights, but she just stated that she was too tired and went ot bed. This gets me in a bad mood, because I don't get enough sleep and then suffer a total lack of productivity during the day.

So in summary, nothing had happened for the last few weeks.

Until last night.

She came home, pulled my blankets, and told me that I needed to fuck her (yes, she used the word, which she rarely does) I was half asleep, so she grabbed on to my cock and started roughing it up until I actually responded. We had regular sex (meaning, nothing kinky) and I ended up having an orgasm inside her, not even stopping to think to ask permission. I guess the whole thing didn't take that long, but I was exhausted, and so was she.

This morning, she woke me up again and had me fuck her, this time from behind, in spooning position, before heading for work (yes, she works on Saturdays too!) and I ended up having another orgasm. "Oh," she said as I convulsed my ejaculation. "I soooo needed to be fucked."

Since I was tired from the week's work, and lack of sleep, I went back to sleep assuming she had left, but she woke me up again before leaving.

No, it was not for more sex... Phew!

"You have gotten two freebies now," she said, waving her wonder woman panties in front of my face. "I want all the dishes done before I come home from work, and clean the kitchen."

Yes, she's getting ready to deny me again. I know it.

I realize that I got two orgasms in a row, and they may have been because she really wanted me to have them, or maybe because she felt that she had not seen me at all in almost three weeks, or perhaps it is just as she says ans she needed to feel me explode inside her. Sometimes it is hard to understand, so it is better to just do as you are told and enjoy it.

The funny thing is that instead of feeling drained, I've been horny and leaking precum in my pants all day. I guess the two orgasms in quick succession may have accelerated cum production? I don't know, but now I want another one really badly, so her denial tonight, which I can almost take for granted, will be stronger than usual for a day one.

Anyone with any information as to why this may be?

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Focusing on Others

Recently, I've been working with an online slave trainer, called Mistress Lina, who challenged me to write about focusing on others. This is what she said:

Your registration number is:   XXX 
Your first step is to try let go of your ego and focus on other people (family, friends or me). You can write about it when you feel you have made some progress. Letting go of 'I want' is not easy and might take some time and effort.

So, I thought: Whoa! This is way too easy! I wanted her to... and then it hit me. I was starting on the "I want" wagon right away. For the next couple of days, I considered the diference between trying to tell a mistress how you want her to dominate you, versus accepting her control in any way that she chooses to exercise it.

I came to one conclusion: True submissiveness is not easy. To think purely in the sense of "What she wants" and not in terms of my own personal desires is not easy. You have to step out of your shoes and into hers. Does she really want to have a man kneeling in front of her licking her feet? Maybe some women do, but Miss V definitely doesn't and when she allows it to happen, it is a gift she gives me, and not a service to her in any way. One time when I asked her what she really wanted, she said "an immaculate kitchen". That day I worked really hard to make the kitchen as clean as she wated it, and when she came home, she told me that I had done well, and when we went to the bedroom, she drew a marble, which was red. She told me she was too tired to enjoy herself, so she would save the red bead for the morning. In the interim, she said, I could get the cream and give her a foot rub while I though about how much SHE was going to enjoy in the morning.

There was a truly dominating act from Miss V (I even got to kiss her feet that night) that came about when I refrained from going after what I wanted and really did what SHE wanted. For the most part, however, I still have much to learn in terms of focusing in her needs and desires instead of  my fantasies. I already have the marbles game, which Miss V plays heartily, and this gives me denial. Now I have to make a better effort of forgetting my "selfish self" and focusing more perfectly in her needs and wants.

Mistress Lina said: A fake dominant, serves the slave and takes his money; a true Dominant is served by the slaves and the slaves are happy because they served her.

So in essence, in both cases there is give and take, but only one of them can bring lastign satisfaction.

I think I'm about getting ready to answer Mistress Lina's challenge.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

My Problem, not Hers...

I'm getting to my house, a little later than usual, and Miss V is on her way out to work. We cross paths on the front of our building, we kiss, exchange some unimportant details about our respective days and she tells me she will be coming home earlier.

She tells me she needs to go, and we say our good-byes.

"Oh, and by the way," she adds as an afterthought. "Your marble for tonight is RED*".

"Why?" I ask. I don't even know why I ask. I don't want to, but I still do it.

She shrugs. "Because that's what I drew".

I complain. I know I shouldn't, but I do nevertheless. I still need to learn. My main complaint is that by drawing the marble before I get home, she denies me the opportunity of earning today's green marble before the draw.

"Well,"she says, "That is your problem, not mine..."

She's right. That is indeed my problem. Not hers.

And learning to stop questioning her is my problem too...

*NOTE: This refers to the long-term orgasm denial game we play, which has already been described elsewhere on these pages where my positive behavior earns green marbles, and my negative behavior earns me red ones. When Miss V doesn't particularly care whether I cum or not (which is most of the time), she draws a marble. Green means orgasm, red means none. There are other rules, like every Sunday 5 green marbles are replaced by red ones, but this is the essence of the rules.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Her Confidence in my Denial.

"I'm thinking about you", I text my wife.

She texts a picture back, of her bare foot, the big toe sticking out. "Think some more" she writes.

I do. I love how she chooses a foot as her text tease. One week ago she texted me a picture of her pantied bottom with the caption "I miss you".

I get home with barely enough time to see her, make out a bit in the kitchen and press myself against her to let her know of my horniness level. There are children around, so all she does to indicate that she had noticed is moan a little in my ear, which if course, makes my horniness indicator flare up another notch.

"I'm hoping..." I start as she walks out of the house. She interrupts me.

"Hope all you want,"she says as she closes the door. "But do the dishes".

I'll bet you can guess whether the dishes were done.

I love how her confidence in my denial is growing.

Monday, April 28, 2014

One week interval...

I got an orgasm last Saturday.

I got another one this Saturday.

In between, there was no teasing, no sensuality and almost no contact of any kind. As a matter of fact, I was on the verge of whinning about it this past Friday when she pulled the container (it's actually a black velvet pouch) holding the marbles and started to shake it, mixing them. It's funny how the sound of marbles can have an erotic meaning to us now. She didn't 'cheat' or look inside the pouch when she pulled the marble out, a green one, which would mean an orgasm was in order.

I say she didn't cheat for lack of a better term. Miss V can decide whether I can have an orgasm or not, and she knows it (even if sometimes she forgets) but she prefers to switch the marble instead of telling me directly that there was a green one but she chooses to not honor it. She has only done that once. On a day when a marble came out green and she said that she was hoping for a red one, so she could use me quickly and then go to sleep. I mentioned to her that she could do as she pleased and that the marbles were not obligations for her. She denied me that day, but this has never happened again.

Well, an orgasm was in store for me, but she was too tired and she told me that she would honor it in the morning. In the morning, while I was still asleep, she pulled my underwear down, leaving it at my ankles, and straddled me. I was still half asleep (only slept 4 hours) and was having a hard time getting hard, but she insisted until she got my full attention. She rode me until she had her first orgasm.

Then it became difficult. She turned both of us around, so I could be on top, but I had not brushed my teeth, and my mouth smelled something fierce, so I didn't want to open it. This made it harder to breathe, and harder to reach an orgasm for me. She reached her second one after a while, and I happily made as if to turn her around so I could take her from behind. This would have allowed me to open my mouth, get some air and finally find relief. This was not going to be, however.

"No," she said, holding me in place. ""Not yet, boy! I am not done."

I was loving her attitutde, but concerned that I was starting to get a bit tired, and would not be able to finish. This time, I pumped hard on her, holding her tight while facing the opposite way. I allowed myself a bit of air this way, and this renewed my energy. Her panting and moaning became more intense, also something she shied away from before, and her third orgasm actually took less time than the second.

"Now it's your turn, but you have two minutes," she said holding me tight.

"May I turn you around?" I asked, trembling with exhaustion.

She laughed and agreed, and once I had her face down, the vision of my hard member entering her beautiful bottom made me finish very quickly.

I was still recovering when she told me that I needed to take a shower, because she wanted me to drive her to work, so I could keep her car, because she had "a mission" for me. I did as instructed, and found out that the mission was to take the girls places and to go shopping for groceries.

I did as instructed, which earned me another green marble, but didn't do the dishes, which would have been a second one. This made me fall short of improving my odds this week, since every Sunday, I have to remove 5 green marbles from the pouch.

I hope she becomes more active this week (sometimes this happens when I give her multiple orgasms) and doesn't wait until next Saturday to demand my attentions.

I hope.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Unauthorized orgasm

I came yesterday, and I was not supposed to.

It all started earlier when my son and my daughter were arguing over whose activity I'd join. I didn't want to hurt their feelings, because both really wanted to spend time with me, but I could not do both. I decided to ask my wife what she thought.

I called her over to where the kids were arguing, and told her what each of them wanted, asking her opinion.

"You are doing neither," she said, surprising the children. "You have to go to work tomorrow, so you have to get to the kitchen right now, do the dishes and go to bed."

"You have ten minutes," she added.

I don't think the children will argue about me for the time being...

I did the dishes, which were many, and that earned me a green marble (I don't know if I've mentioned here that I hurt my feet a week and a half ago and have switched from working out to providing house service to earn my green marbles, but yeah, that's how it is for now)

I went to bed and she drew a marble. She asked me if I wanted to know the color, and I said yes, but she said that she would keep it secret to torment me. She made me give her a foot massage while she worked on her computer. It kind of felt interesting, me serving her and being ignored at the same time. I kissed her feet, but when I tried to suck on her toes, she pulled away, so I limited myself to kisses.

After that, she put her computer away and pulled me over. We kissed long and hard, until my lips were swollen from all her biting and sucking. Then she told me to make love to her, which by this time I did with great energy.

She had a couple nice orgasms, including one where I covered her mouth and she allowed herself to make noise, since I was muffling her sound. Then, while she was still under me, she showed me the marble she had drawn earlier. It was a red one, which meant I would have no release.

She laughed and told me to keep going, because she was not done yet, but that there would be nothing for me. I groaned, and she laughed some more (I love that evil laugh). But in the process of trying to get her to reach her third orgasm, I reached the point of no return.

"I'm going to come!"I said pumping hard and deep into her.

"Don't you dare!"she said, but pulled me closer and ground herself against me.

It didn't matter anyway, because I was in the process already and there was no stopping it any more. She held me close until my numerous spasms stopped, and while still caressing my body, she told me that I was in deep trouble, but that she was too happy right then to think about what to do, so she would tell me in the morning.

 "I hope it was worth it,"she said before turning around and letting me go to sleep hugging her precious bottom. I wondered for a moment what she was going to do to punish me, but I was in post orgasmic bliss and super tired, so I fell asleep quite rapidly.

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, she looked at me and asked me how many green marbles were in my container. I had 5, because as you might know, every Sunday, 5 marbles are removed from the container, to keep me working for them.

"OK," she said. "Change them all to reds..."

I did, and now my punishment for having an unauthorized orgasm is a longer period of denial.

I think it WAS worth it. What do you think?

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Little change, still big hopes...

Been a while since my last post.

What has changed? Not much.

V still feels comfortable denying me and my number of orgasms is falling. The other day she said "This is becoming too easy for you" and she spilled all the marbles on the bed to check that I was not cheating. She said this because I had gotten two Green marbles in a row (even though the marbles were drawn days apart and there were only 5 on the pouch, compared to 11 red ones).

Another night, she told me she hoped a red marble would come out because she was in the mood for a massage, not for sex. I reminded her that a green marble does not force her to grant me an orgasm, and that if she wants, she can decide that the marble is red, without having to draw. She smiled, as if she had forgotten that (she seems to forget things often) and she said that I'd give her a massage, and that would be that, unless the massage was good enough to put her in the mood, in which case, the color of the marble would decide. She drew one secretly, and after my massage, she said "Screw me now, because I'm getting sleepy" and she showed me the green marble.

These are the last two green marbles I've gotten.

Something that changed this week is the condition for me to earn green marbles. For some reason, I'm having inflammation in my ankles and feet, so I am not able to work out. I am having problems even wearing my working shoes, and am considering that I may have to ask the doctor for a note with an exemption from wearing them. So, I have asked from a reprise from the requirement to work out, and asked for other conditions to be imposed. This week, because of this, I've been doing chores and fixing stuff around the house to earn my green marbles. The dishes have become my responsibility, and twice this week I had to do the laundry, including sorting and folding afterwards. I had to cook dinner three times as well.

Needless to say, doing all these is far more satisfying for me than the regular workouts.

Today, as a new week begins, and my feet are still not well, I'm going to ask V for another week of domestic servitude, and I'm going to ask her to make it harder, more demanding.

Another thing that changed was that she started giving orders to our kids as well. They've had had to make dinner and do laundry on days as well, while she has not cooked or done a dish the entire week.

As far as my kink goes, I'm still wanting a chastity belt and hard spankings, but this week, she ordered to spank myself twice for thinking about contradicting her. Very aware of the fact that a chance like this can only continue if I comply immediately, I dropped my pants and gave myself a hard slap on the buttocks with the silicon spatula (which is the best thing I've found so far for self-punishment) She just laughed at me and I said that it would have been more satisfying if she would have done it herself, but that since she ordered it, I enjoyed it too.

She's finally getting the idea that her tone matters. The other morning, she asked me to make her breakfast and described what she would like. I yes-honeyed her and then she looked at me and raising her voice a little said "Go make me breakfast!" I stood up right away and as I was walking to the kitchen, heard her say "I don't know which one works better" to which I answered "the second one" and she laughed again.

I hope her laughter is an indication that she is having fun and that more of it will come in the future. I need to explain to her that I want to be spanked hard and that she should ignore my body language, and I'd ask her to stop when I can't handle it no more.

Also, in the chastity device front, I think I'm going to ask her for a "trial"as my birthday gift. The trial would be able to be cancelled by any of the parties (although I know I'll do my best not to cancel it, the fact that I can, should give her confidence that I still want it) and extended as long as the parties want in order to feel satisfied that this is something we can both benefit from. After the trial, it will become her right and privilege to control, but I don;t think I will make a big deal out of it yet, because I have learned to take her dominance whenever I can and not impose new things too fast, to avoid scaring her.

So this is it for now: No big changes, but steady orgasm control and big hopes on my part.

Hopefully I'll be able to post more frequently.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Another dose of denial for me

Today, Miss V pulled the BLACK marble again. She drew a card, at random this time, that said: "If there are more GREEN than RED marbles in the container, switch them around, inverting their colors, if not, it means you  need to be punished and lose all your GREEN marbles". So I had 5 GREEN marbles in the container, and now have zero.

She seemed to be very sorry for me, but reminded me that I asked for it, and that it was my game. I told her I accepted it. Then she spanked me HARD. She actually made me complain audibly. She asked me if that hurt and I said yes, then she apologized and I felt miserable, because I didn't want her to stop. I explained that it "hurt good" and that it was what I wanted, but she said that she was afraid she would hurt me (as in cause some damage). I promised her that I would let her know if she was hurting me and she spanked me a couple more times, really hard again, but stopped and said "I can't do it." I thanked her for trying and assured her that I WANT to feel it, and that I would be OK.

Then she made me give her a massage, which led to sex, where I had to stop twice because I came too close to the edge. Finally she had a moderate orgasm and told me that I could stop. I thanked her again, and begged that she take advantage of all the RED marbles that I have now and make me suffer for my choices. She agreed to do that.

Later, when she was getting ready to go take a bath, she was laughing. I asked her what she was laughing about, and she said it was not really laughing, but more like being amused at my misfortune, and then she said

"It's almost February and you have only scored twice!"

"You have not scored that much either," I responded.

"Yes, but more than you,"and she left for her shower, shaking her head in disbelief.

Now, with 16 RED marbles and no GREEN ones, I'm wondering when I will get to come again. Perhaps she will give me a freebie on Valentine's Day.

Because she can.

Saturday, January 11, 2014


I get home very tired in the afternoon, but we have a commitment we have to attend to, so I eat a light dinner and off we go. The appointment is cancelled, so we are a bit upset as we turn around to go home, because we have not been noticed of the cancellation, and the website still has the event posted as scheduled. At least we get to spend a bit of time together.

By the time we return to the house, Miss V has noticed that I'm really tired.

"I have stuff to do," she says sitting at her computer. "Why don't you go to sleep, and I'll wake you up when I'm ready?"

I agree, although I have no hope of being awaken, because Miss V usually never does. I feel almost like complaining and saying that I KNOW this will never happen, but I'm really tired, so I just close my eyes and fall asleep.

I am awakened to a woman rubbing my penis. I'm still half asleep when Miss V draws the marble from the container and I see its color: RED. This means no orgasm for me, but I have not had one since New Year's day, so I'm desperately eager to do whatever Miss V asks of me.

We end up making love quite hard. I take her from behind, then she turns and I take her face to face as she wraps her legs around me. She makes me work hard, ordering me not to stop when I slow down a little. Sweat drops off my chest and unto hers in great drops. She pinches my nipples hard and I am getting close to the edge, but she slows me down.

"I'm done with you," she says. I love how confident she is becoming in her denial, and can only hope that she is pleased with me so she wants more of the same soon.

"Did you have fun?" I ask as I pull out.

"Ye- I mean NO!" Miss V says with that evil grin that drives me crazy. "Of course not, honey, I'd never do that to you!"

"How many times did you fail to have fun?"

"Only two," she says confirming the two I was sure of, and eliminating a doubtful third one.

"Good night".

Good night, Miss V. You surprised me tonight, when I didn't expect it. Thank you. I love you.

And contrary to all my expectations, I fall asleep again and sleep soundly, all night. Contented in my denied state, happy and fulfilled in making her happy and giving her pleasure.

And this surprises me as well, although only a little.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Why have I done this?

The body lotion is on my bedside table. My wife enters the room and looks at it.

"Ah, good,"she says, taking her clothes off slowly. "You have the lotion ready".

She asks for the container with the marbles. I know the odds of a green marble are minimal, (3 of 17) so I'm not at all surprised when she pulls a red marble.

"Get to work,"she says, now completely naked as she lays face down across the bed.

I am getting out of my clothes, half an erection peeping out of my underwear before I finish.

"Put that away," she says, pointing at my partially hardened tool, but then she corrects herself. "Actually, leave it out, you are going to need it later... FOR ME."

I give her a long massage, from head to toes, or rather the other way around, since I began with her feet. for most of the time, she is playing, or working with her phone, only interrupted by a short ooh, or ahh, as I reach a particularly sensitive area, but when I reach her head, I pull out the scalp massager and she has to drop the phone to simply enjoy the sensations.

"You've got my attention," she says as she moans and squirms in pleasure.

I massage her scalp for a long while and when I think I'm done, she tells me that I need to start over, but this time, When I'm done, I need to be ready to please her.

I get back behind her, and begin to kiss her feet as I go up her legs in my massage. I know that if she lets me use my mouth on her, my erection will harden enough. Surprisingly, she lets me go up and soon I'm kissing her bountiful behind, although not as close to her pussy as I'd like. In  few minutes she pulls me in and I enter her from behind. Her orgasm is quick in coming, but very intense. Then she tells me she's done.

Just like that,

I sleep.

Today she draws a marble again. Another red one.

She grabs my cock and played a bit with it, I tell her that I know my bed is red, and I won't get any, but that if I have to suffer, I want to suffer good.

"I know," she says. "But today I'm going to torture by not making you suffer good."

I whine, I tell her that I haven't have sex since New Year's Day. She tells me that she has, and I realize my mistake. I explain that I meant not had successful sex.

"It was successful enough for me," she says. "You need to be good, and get enough green marbles so when I'm tired, you can get a green marble and do me from behind while I rest."

Then she plays a bit more with my cock and finally tells me that I'm welcome to join her in sleeping.

Now she sleeps while I write this and wallow in my self-inflicted misery and ask "why have I done this?"

Why indeed...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

New Year's Golden Marble

I have not been too good during the holidays and my container is full of red marbles. Of course, the black marble, which always remains in play is still in there, and there is a golden marble that I bought by spending 5 marbles back when I filled the container with 100% green marbles. If you don't remember what these colored marbles represent, here is a short summary:

When Miss V wants to have sex, she can choose to decide whether I get to come or not, but she can (and usually chooses) to draw a marble to let chance decide. The color of the marble determines what happens (which she can always veto anyway, something she has done a couple times).

GREEN: I get a green marble when I work out, or when she offers one in exchange for me doing something extra for her. When I green marble is drawn, I get release in the manner of her choosing.

RED: I get a red marble when I fail to work out or when she decides that I have failed her in any other way (she's only done this once). When a red marble is drawn, I get to be denied, usually after pleasuring her, but sometimes, if she's a bit tired, she just turns over and goes to sleep (I hate this more than anything).

BLACK: Always in play (it comes back to the container after it's used). It's considered a punishment marble. There are a series of cards that I wrote with various manners of denial, some of which can be quite long. The Black marble has been drawn once.

GOLD: Only available for purchase in exchange for 5 green marbles and only if I have 100% green marbles (16) in the container. Once it is used, the golden marble is retired and I have to pay for a new one again. The golden marble gives me sexual favors, and it usually ends with a form of release that caters to my fantasies.

RESET: Every Sunday, 5 green marbles are removed from the container and replaced with red ones. Any gold and the black, remain in play.

Well, there were 16 red marbles, 1 black and one golden, and Miss V tried to draw from the container. The black marble came out, but a red one came out with it and she declared it null, dropping them both back in the container. I was a bit bummed, because the black marble is painfully delicious. The last (and only) black marble declared that I would not get to come unless I did it from purely anal stimulation. I had to get pegged until I either had an anal orgasm, or ran out of chances. That was a very intense week, but I ended up coming while riding Miss V's "cock".

Well, it was not to be, so I was resigned to watch Miss V drawing a new marble, which by all probability would be red, when she suddenly drew the golden one. I was super surprised, because both the black and the golden one had only 1 chance in 18 to come out, and she drew them both consecutively.

I gave her the cards I have for the golden marble, and she read them all. She said, that I would be denied and she would save the card for the next time, because it required time that she was not willing to devote at the time. I agreed and fucked her for two orgasms.

"Okay, good night,"she said, and as I resigned myself to her decision and started to pull out, she stopped me. "No, you know what? I think you should just keep going. You owe me."

I continued until I was on the edge and she asked me why I was stopping. I explained that I needed to stop or else I would not be able to hold it, and she squeezed my nipples while we waited, making my whole body shake with pre-orgasmic bliss. After a little while I resumed my movements and gave her a third orgasm, more powerful than the rest, and then she pushed me away.

The next morning, she left early, but I found the golden marble card she had selected on top of my computer. It was one that said that she would do me from behind for as long as she had energy, and when she got tired, she would use her hands to finish me off. So, last night, she did just that.

Before she fucked me, I got to kiss and lick her ass a little. then she turned around and told me that my kisses had gotten her excited and she shoved her "erection"on my face. I was about to suck on it, but she handed me the lubricant and told me to apply it. This is one part where I feel really submissive, when She just stands there, waiting as I have to apply the slippery stuff to the dildo she's going to fuck me with.

Well, she fucked me for a long while, and then started to use her hand. At that point I asked her if I could ride on top instead, and she agreed, so she laid back and I went on top. I didn't last long after that, and a huge load came on her chest. I so wanted to lick it off, but she handed me a small towel and asked me to clean her up.

This morning, she told me that she heard a rumor that I had been a bad boy and had been raped up my ass because of that. She also warned me to behave "or else"... Hearing her say that was bliss.

So we begin the new year, three orgasms to one, and the marble game has 14 red, 2 green and 1 black.

Now it will be a few days until Miss V can enjoy herself again, because nature is home for her monthly visit and she's feeling unusually bad this time. This should give me some time to add more green marbles to the container...