This is the new online journal of V's boy, a submissive male trying to steer his relationship towards a female-led model. I do not believe in female supremacy, but my dream is to submit to my wife, be held by her in Caring Dominance and be wrapped forever around her finger. This blog is considered adult content.
Monday, December 15, 2014
A Little Down, a Little Confused
I have not had sex in almost a month now.
No, it's not a period od denial. it's just no sex. I told my wife that I needed some and she told me that I liked not getting any... Have I given her the wrong impression?
I have been cranky, lazy, rude, innattentive, have been eating too much, watching porn, masturbating, talking back to my wife... You get the idea. In short, if I had decided to do everything possible to not to follow my own advice, this is how I'd behave.
I have no excuse other than to admit that I am a jerk that needs to be controlled externally. For years I thought that I wanted it, and now, after having tasted some of it, as little as it was, I realized that I need it. To try to remember my goals and my feelings, I'm working on the new blog. I made two new posts:
The One Rule
What I can give to Victoria
Today, when I arrived I tried to kiss my wife and she didn't let me at first because I was too cold (coming from outside as I was) so she blew on my lips before kissing me very lightly. Then she blew on my ears, one at a time and told me "You just got a blow job". Sadly I could not answer that I wanted a real one because my daughter was right there. My wife's timing was perfect. SHe gets to say something and by the time I react, we are in public.
Now she's gone again, and I'm alone (with the internet), I have not masturbated for 48 hours. I feel like a loser, but I don't think that wallowing in my misery is going to make things better.
When I first asked V to exercise orgasm control on me it was with the excuse that I needed encouragement to lose weight. Perhaps I can pull it off again, but I don't know. She has no problem saying no anymore, which is what I wanted, but now she doesn't tease.
How do I explain this?
I need the tease to proviode the energy to do what I need to do...
To be continued.
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