What V Wants: Proactive Help.

I had a conversation with V the other night that illustrated one of the ways in which we submissive men make mistakes when it comes to our attempts to bring out dominance from our partners.

It was very simple, but helpful.

The background is this: V was upset with me because I made a blunder out of her birthday celebration, so I was not just being denied, I was being ignored. I have spoken about the difference between the two before, so I won't go there. The main thing is I wanted to make amends, and was being very helpful around the house and with the kids, and all. This lasted for many days. I apologized in any possible way I could, brought her flowers, etcetera.

One day, I think after 10 days of this, I texted her that I loved and would do anything to please her.

"Not do. Be" Came her simple response via text.

She gave me two more days of the cold treatment, and then on day 12, she whispered in my ear (the children were present).

"If you work out and are proactive, I'll take care of you when I get back from work".

She went to the kitchen and I followed her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You are a big boy," she said. "You'll figure it out."

I didn't say anything. To me it felt like a lose if you do, lose if you don't type of deal. She must have seen my idiotic face because when she turned around, she asked what I thought she meant.

"To me, " I said, choosing to be completely honest. "It sounds like you want me to do something, but don't want to tell me what it is".

"You see? That's the problem!" She said, but I could tell that she was not as upset as she had been for the past several days. "You think that I want you to do something specific, and that's not what I want. I want you to look around, there are many things you can do to help, and do something, help with the kids, the family, the house, don't you understand?"

"I do," I responded meekly.

And I finally did.

In my quest for submission, I had become inert, and expectant on her direction, but what she wanted was someone who anticipated her needs and went ahead in helping without requiring her direct command.

I chose to do all the dishes, cleaned the table and the stove, and made sure the younger ones did their things before going to bed.

It was enough.

When V came back she took me to bed and told me that I could come inside her.

I did as I was told, and had one of the most intense (but not long-lasting, sadly) orgasms of my life.

So, V wants a man who serves her, but that shows some initiative in deciding to do it instead of being commanded. The day after that, she told me that she would give me the pleasure of doing something for her, and made me write some materials for her job.

When we were in the car the other day, I asked her if there was a house chore that she disliked above all others, one that she would give away to someone else if she could.

"Dishes,"  she answered without hesitation.

"Because of your hands, eh?" I asked.

"Yes, I can't use gloves because they dry my hands, and I can't not use gloves because the dish washing soap dries my hands."

"I see," I said, leaving the rest unsaid. I love her hands, how small and soft they are, and I made my mind right there: she will not have to do dishes again if I am home to prevent it.

I think this count as being proactive.