(Even) Another Attempt

Things have become incredibly busy in our home. My full time job continues to be as demanding as usual, but now V has two jobs. Her freelancing job continues to thrive and she has continuous work until at lest September, even if she doesn't get any additional calls between now and then. I think I can say that this is a great blessing at a time when many people are without jobs. Her day job will be over in a week, and she already has another one lined up for after the summer (I think she starts in August) so no unemployment in our household.

These blessings have not come without a price however, and that price has been in our FLR efforts. Since V has been so busy, and our hours mostly non-compatible, I was not seeing enough of her and abstinence was becoming the norm. I stopped working out and we talked about the situation and we decided to call it quits with the orgasm denial. I could not afford to be denied in the once a week time I saw her. We have not played since January until now (May). I thought it was a lost cause and I'd never go back to play, and even took matters into my own hand a couple of times (or a little bit more) until now. Yeah, I know. Pessimist me taking over, like it tends to happen whenever I'm low on sexual stimulation. The worst part is that she asked me twice during this time if I wanted to play again and I refused

WHAAAAT???

Let me explain. I was not rude or anything, I said something like this: "Honey, I love to play. I love it when you have control of my orgasms, but right now, I don't see you enough, and if I see you once in two weeks, and you deny me that one day, I'm not going to be getting anything that I need. No denial, because it is so rare, and no sex either, so instead, I'll get the worst of both worlds."

She understood. (I think)

Now, after having a period where Handy has given me more orgasms than V, I feel the lack of fulfillment again. It always comes back, that depressing feeling that keeps saying that everything is worthless and that there is nothing I can do to help it. Anyway, out of desperation I texted her with a request: "Would you play marbles with me again?"

She answered that she would, but not until her contract with her day job expired. I asked when does it expire and she said that her last day is Tuesday, May 14 and that we could begin again on that very same day.

I don't know how it's going to be, or anything, but I feel grateful that she's still willing to do this.

Next time I saw her, was the day after the messages, and after saying hello, she said "So, you are going to start working out again, eh?

I answered in the affirmative and added, "and anything else you may want".

So, here I am, getting ready to go to work (Sunday night work... yay... how exciting... ho-hum) while she is working (double ho-hum) and also wondering how we are going to do this. She seems to think that we will have more time and I have my doubts, but there is nothing I could do unless I decide to save forget the whole thing.

I need this thing and will have to resign myself to get whatever she is willing to give.

So this is another shot... another chance to get this moving in the right direction. I wonder how far we have fallen and how quickly we can recover. I need to be specially attentive and obedient in the first few weeks so she regains whatever confidence she may have lost.

I have two new colors of marbles that I want to introduce, and this might be a good time. She has hinted before at wanting to add other colors but not knowing what to do with them so I will be making an additional post here to describe them.

Now, I wish myself Good Luck...