How things are right now

I have not posted in a while, so I thought it was perhaps time to provide an update on how things are going.

First of all, although I continue to feel as submissive as ever, with my needs and wants of domination, sometimes I am not as helpful around the house as I need to, which affects V's mood, and bring her expectations down. Recently she has been asking me if I can maybe try to do something, as oppossed to giving me an order. This is so counterproductive that I feel like not doing it at all, whioch then causes a half-ass effort, low quality service, frustration and even lower future expectations. You could say that I am caught in a vicious circle right now.

I know, I know... I have all the tools and the knowledge to try to get out of this, but it is so hard not to let the moods affect you. I have not have sex in 9 days, but I can't call it denial, because V has not had any either. It is just lack of intimacy, caused by the fact that V now has 2 jobs and her time off is when I'm at work on mine.

I'm trying once more to bring the dynamic to life. The one thing that helps is that this time, I do it from an informed position, meaning that V knows that I want her to use sex as a tool to dominate me.

Here are two recent events that show this.

The first one was last night. I asked her if there was a chance that she would draw a marble later and she said no. Then she added, that since I crave her so much and I love her feet, that she was going to allow me to rub them. I smiled, and she became a little bossy, ordering me to take her used plate to the sink, and wash it, go get her water bottle and fill it and bring the lotion while I was at it.

I did everything as instructed, and then sat on the floor, in front of her, with her feet on my lap and gave them a long massage, including some kisses. At one point she asked me if I was comfortable down there, to which I replied by placing one of her feet in position over my erection. ""Yes, I am" I said.

The next was today, when she asked me to take her to work. She had mentioned earlier that I had to make sure that everyone ate and cleaned up after themselves, to which I had agreed. While we were in the car, I asked her what would the odds be of having a woman engage in something sexual with me tonight.

"If you are a good boy and do everything she says," she said. "I'd say there is a pretty good chance".

"Oh, I like that. And what does she want me to do?"

"She already told you," she said, repeating what she had said before.

When I dropped off in front of her building, I told her that I would do anything she said. She smiled and said, "Then, I want an immaculate kitchen."

So, you see, there is still hope here, although I'd very much prefer that she was more blatant in her use of me than she is, but I guess that before I get that, I need to demonstrate that I am a willing subject to such use. For all that matters right now, all I need to worry about it to make the kitchen immaculate.

And that's where I'm headed right at this very moment.

EDIT: (4 hours later)

I made sure everyone ate, cleaned the kitchen, including the floors and the stove and when Miss V came home, she found it to her liking. Once in the bedroom, she drew a marble from the container, and it was RED (if you have not been following this, a RED marble indicates denial for me).

"And I didn't cheat," she said before explaining that she was too tired to really enjoy me "making her happy" but that she would save it for the morning. For now, she explained, handing me the bottle of lotion, "you are going to give me a foot rub and dream about how much fun I am going to have in the morning."

"I can do that," I said, getting to work in her foot rub.

Later during the rub, I kissed her feet and thanked her. When she asked why, I said that I was grateful that she had given me the opportunity to show her my love by giving her a foot massage.

"You love my feet, eh?" she asked rethorically, then added "perhaps I can make you give me a pedicure, since you love my feet so much."

I said that I'd love to do it, if she told me how, and she agreed that she will. Then she added that she knws that I will do a great job, because I'm very talanted (her words).

So that's it. She didn't touch or tease, but I was leaking by the time I finish rubbing her feet. I need to go to sleep now, basking in the amazing power V has and hopefuly dreaming about the pleasure I'll get to give in the morning, as she instructed me.