A couple changes...

Last Saturday, My wife suggested that we may have to make some changes to our arrangement. At the time, I agreed with everything she said, but was not exactly sure what I was agreeing to. This morning I asked her if she had given any thought to the tweaks she wanted to make and she told me that she was not to do any tweaking and that I should bring the tweaking that was needed to her so she could decide on it.

Since I've been denied for a few days, my mind went to work like an overclocked CPU in search of a proposal that would bring us closer to FLM but that she could accept. Tonight, before going to bed (denied again, by the way) she told me that she wanted to hear what I had been thinking and I explained it more or less in these words:

The arrangement that we have works wonderfully. I feel excited and full of energy when my sexual needs are high (and I explained the denial part). It is a great way to relax and enjoy a change of pace from always being the boss at work and everywhere else (she said she understood perfectly how stressful being in charge all the time could be), and I thought it also took a pressure from her because she never has to have sex because she has to anymore. (She wholeheartedly agreed with this and admitted to great orgasms in the past few weeks). I told her that I had given her the key to my sexuality and I intended to respect this commitment for as long as she would have it. I thanked her for being firm with me and for loving me enough to deny me when I didn't deserve release.

Then I described what I thought could be improved.

1) More intense teasing may be needed on the day after release to bring the energy back as soon as possible. She agreed to this, with the caveat that she may not always be able to do it. I told her that I loved to be brought back to the higher level of consciousness that sexual desire produced on me, but that as always, our plan  was not meant to force her into anything she didn't want to do. She also said that she didn't want "teasing" to become "work" for her and I agreed to accept whatever she wanted to give that was fun and enjoyable to her. I also suggested that since she told me that she doesn't feel like receiving an orgasm and then making me stop, that she should ask me for massages, body rubs, or anything she would enjoy while I'm being denied, so that it is pleasurable to her while teasing me. I wish she would let me give her oral service, but alas, she doesn't like it. Perhaps one day...

2) Develop a reward and consequence mechanism to encourage consistency. She was intrigued about this and we discussed it the most. She seemed agreeable with fulfilling a sexual fantasy of mine on Saturday if I work out Monday through Friday without fail. She was not too sure about imposing incremental consequences for each day I failed to do as required, but suggested that I prepare a list of fantasies and give it to her. She said she will decide whether or not a fantasy will be granted. In the end, I got the assignment to draft a list of fantasies and consequences to hand over to her, a delicate balancing act, because I can't be too kinky and risk losing what has been gained, but don't want to waste the opportunity of suggesting more femdom-oriented activities. Suggestions of not-too-kinky rewards and consequences are welcome as I work on the list over the next week or so.

In addition, at some points of our conversation and in response to specific concerns of hers, I promised that from now on, I was giving up the right to question her about her reasons for not having sex with me and that I would not give her an attitude regarding her decision. I told her that I may fail to keep the promise always, and she said that she understands that I am only human, but that if I'm asking for this, she doesn't want me complaining later.

I'm actually surprised at the number of submissive thoughts that I expressed to her tonight, and at the ease with which she seemed to accept them. I should not get carried away by my apparent success, however, because there is still a lot of hesitation on my still-vanilla wife, and I don't want to risk a recession by using too much of my relationship capital at once.

My next steps will be to humbly accept whatever rewards and consequences she deems appropriate to bestow upon me, continue to strive to maintain a workout schedule and to show my appreciation for her help at all times. I will not bring the subject up in conversation unless she does. If she starts going outside of our arrangement and extends her gentle domination to other areas, as I think she will, I will accept it and express my love for her, until the time is ripe for me to get my other foot out of the closet, as it were, and confess to her that I'd love for her to dominate me in all areas of my life, and use me for her exclusive pleasure.

Until then, Patience, Humility, Service, Obedience...

NOTE: Special thanks to Tamara, who suggested a posible solution for the comments problem. Although it didn't work, and I'm still unable to post comments, it led me to Mistress Ivey's blog, which I found very valuable. Thanks, Tamara!